Young Writers Society

Sorry for typos and false writings, please warn me if there are some. Enjoy.



I had my coffee in my hand, I was just sitting there, looking to see what was pushing the door to reach inside.
I was waiting for it; I knew that he would come back for me. It’s not just a dream when you see yourself haunted, it is being haunted even if you’re unconscious.
Door is shaking, he must be way too strong to be trapped inside the room by a simple iron door. He knows I’m right here. He knows I’m ready. He knows when he reaches outside, one of us will be dead – for the second time, if it would be him. And I’ll do everything I can to make it to be him.
I put my cup on the stairs, I get up and climb to upper floors. I’m closing every open door all inside the building; four doors each floor, they all have their own creatures inside.
I know everything. Because this is a dream.
It’s not the first time I’m being haunted by someone. At the first time, there was four men, trying to kill me in my sleep, scaring me to death. They trapped my soul, I knew why they were not dead, but I knew that I wasn’t their unfinished business. It took me a while to convince them, but we were all unharmed. Well, they were dead at last.
But this one… no. I am definitely his unfinished business. We’re in the building where I always see my worst dreams. Nightmares. It’s the second apartment me and my family lived in, we lived here for eight years. I know every single corner of here.
And, here we come. I’m in a dreamscape in the place I know the best.
I hear the noise and I know he’s coming. I’m scared to death, no; not death. Not yet. I’m scared enough to get to action. I won’t die in my sleep, I’m too brave for that.
I run to the highest floor, to get my gun. This is my dream and everything happens in my way of thought. It has to be that way. Now, I can see the gun at the end of this corridor. I don’t stop running, I can feel him coming, I can feel his filthy breath, just a floor down. I reach the gun, I reach out to take it – just in that second, it disappears.
I can’t believe what just happened. This is my dream, I have the control of everything here, what’s the matter with my brain?!
I turn back and I see him. Long, dark hair, blue eyes and dark skin. Tall and skinny. I can see his long fingernails, full with dirt, coming towards me. He will kill me with his nails. He has the power to do that.
“Stop!” I yell him, I can feels my eyes, watering. He stops. He looks at me, breathing from his mouth. I can feel myself passing out, but I can still see, I’m aware of the fact I fell down and I cannot move. But I can see. I can hear. He is changing. He is changing because I’m not actually his unfinished business… no… it’s not me…
I feel his conscious getting inside of my brain, I know it’s him, crying when he’s holding my head in his arms; he’s crying because it’s not the first time he got through this.
I’m not his unfinished business. It’s her.
I see her. I can see her dark hair and brown eyes, I can see we have the same face, now I know she hurt him by passing out suddenly and leaving this world, giving him no warning of her left. As we become one with him, I can see everything he has ever done, I know he’s crying for me now, I know he cried for her at the time. I know she’s dead. I know he wanted to be with her.
I just don’t understand why he couldn’t see that light everyone mentions. As I fell deep into his memories, I can see her laughter, I can see her crying, I can feel her warm lips, feel her body under me… right now, as he thinks I’m dying, and we’re sharing the same mind with him. I feel myself slipping through, I feel myself fading, I’m turning into air and dust.
I know I’m dying. He knows I’m dying. I just wish he could go and get the one he ever loved.
As the feeling of dying reaches, I wake up.
I knew this was a dream.
But it was too real to be a dream.

was waiting for it; I knew that he would come back for me. It’s not just a dream when you see yourself haunted, it is being haunted even if you’re unconscious.

Door is shaking, he must be way too strong to be trapped inside the room by a simple iron door. He knows I’m right here. He knows I’m ready. He knows when he reaches outside, one of us will be dead – for the second time, if it would be him. And I’ll do everything I can to make it to be him.

I put my cup on the stairs, I get up and climb to upper floors. I’m closing every open door all inside the building; four doors each floor, they all have their own creatures inside.

I know everything. Because this is a dream.

It’s not the first time I’m being haunted by someone. At the first time, there was four men, trying to kill me in my sleep, scaring me to death. They trapped my soul, I knew why they were not dead, but I knew that I wasn’t their unfinished business. It took me a while to convince them, but we were all unharmed. Well, they were dead at last.

But this one… no. I am definitely his unfinished business. We’re in the building where I always see my worst dreams. Nightmares. It’s the second apartment me and my family lived in, we lived here for eight years. I know every single corner of here.

And, here we come. I’m in a dreamscape in the place I know the best.

I hear the noise and I know he’s coming. I’m scared to death, no; not death. Not yet. I’m scared enough to get to action. I won’t die in my sleep, I’m too brave for that.

I run to the highest floor, to get my gun. This is my dream and everything happens in my way of thought. It has to be that way. Now, I can see the gun at the end of this corridor. I don’t stop running, I can feel him coming, I can feel his filthy breath, just a floor down. I reach the gun, I reach out to take it – just in that second, it disappears.

I can’t believe what just happened. This is my dream, I have the control of everything here, what’s the matter with my brain?!

I turn back and I see him. Long, dark hair, blue eyes and dark skin. Tall and skinny. I can see his long fingernails, full with dirt, coming towards me. He will kill me with his nails. He has the power to do that.

“Stop!” I yell him, I can feels my eyes, watering. He stops. He looks at me, breathing from his mouth. I can feel myself passing out, but I can still see, I’m aware of the fact I fell down and I cannot move. But I can see. I can hear. He is changing. He is changing because I’m not actually his unfinished business… no… it’s not me…

I feel his conscious getting inside of my brain, I know it’s him, crying when he’s holding my head in his arms; he’s crying because it’s not the first time he got through this.

I’m not his unfinished business. It’s her.

I see her. I can see her dark hair and brown eyes, I can see we have the same face, now I know she hurt him by passing out suddenly and leaving this world, giving him no warning of her left. As we become one with him, I can see everything he has ever done, I know he’s crying for me now, I know he cried for her at the time. I know she’s dead. I know he wanted to be with her.

I just don’t understand why he couldn’t see that light everyone mentions. As I fell deep into his memories, I can see her laughter, I can see her crying, I can feel her warm lips, feel her body under me… right now, as he thinks I’m dying, and we’re sharing the same mind with him. I feel myself slipping through, I feel myself fading, I’m turning into air and dust.

I know I’m dying. He knows I’m dying. I just wish he could go and get the one he ever loved.

As the feeling of dying reaches, I wake up.

I knew this was a dream.

But it was too real to be a dream.


Could you expound on death anymore.........i think not......great job. Keep writing. Love it, look forward to more.

I had my coffee in my hand, I was just sitting there, looking to see what was pushing the door to reach inside.
I was waiting for it; I knew that he would come back for me. It’s not just a dream when you see yourself haunted, it is being haunted even if you’re unconscious.
Door is shaking,(;Semicolon) he must be way too strong to be trapped inside the room by a simple iron door. He knows I’m right here. He knows I’m ready. He knows when he reaches outside, one of us will be dead – for the second time, if it would be him. And I’ll do everything I can to make it to be him.
I put[b](I think “I place my cup on the stairs” would sound a little better)[/b] my cup on the stairs,(;Semicolon or a period.) I get up and climb to (the)upper floors. I’m closing every open door all inside the building(I’m closing every door in the building); four doors each floor, (Period.) they all have their own creatures inside.
I know everything. Because this is a dream.
It’s not the first time I’m being haunted (It’s not the first time I’ve been haunted by someone) by someone. At(The first time) the first time, there was (Were)four men,(no comma) trying to kill me in my sleep, scaring me to death. They trapped my soul, I knew why they were not dead, but I knew that I wasn’t their unfinished business. It took me a while to convince them, but we were all unharmed. Well, they were dead at last. .(I don’t really understand this paragraph. I don’t know, to me, it reads weird and doesn’t really make much sense. If I knew more about what was going on, or if your wording wasn’t so vague, maybe it would be a bit more significant to me, but I… I just don’t know.)
But this one… (capitalize “no”)no. I am definitely his unfinished business.(Maybe this is it, what I don’t get, I mean. What unfinished business?) We’re in the building where I always see my worst dreams. Nightmares. It’s the second apartment me and my family lived in(;Semicolon) we lived here for eight years. I know every single corner of here(I know every single corner of this place).
And, here we come. I’m in a dreamscape in the place I know the best.
I hear the noise and I know he’s coming. I’m scared to death, no;(no semicolon) not death. Not yet. I’m scared enough to get(take, not get) to action. I won’t die in my sleep, I’m too brave for that.
I run to the highest floor, to get my gun. This is my dream and everything happens in my way of thought. It has to be that way. Now, I can see the gun at the end of this corridor. I don’t stop running, I can feel him coming, I can feel his filthy breath, just a floor down. (How can his breath be felt if he’s a floor down?) I reach the gun, I reach out to take it – just in that second, it disappears.
I can’t believe what just happened. This is my dream, I have the control of everything here, what’s the matter with my brain?!
I turn back and I see him. Long, dark hair, blue eyes(Comma) and dark skin. Tall and skinny. I can see his long fingernails, full with(of) dirt, coming towards me. He will kill me with his nails. He has the power to do that.
“Stop!” I yell him, I can feels(feel) my eyes,(no comma) watering. He stops. He looks at me, breathing from his mouth. I can feel myself passing out, but I can still see, I’m aware of the fact I fell down and I cannot move. But I can see. I can hear. He is changing. He is changing because I’m not actually his unfinished business… (No)no… it’s not me…
I feel his conscious(consciousness) getting(possibly find a more descriptive word for “getting”. Creeping, prying, crawling?) inside of(take out “of”) my brain, I know it’s him, crying when (as he’s) he’s holding my head in his arms; he’s crying because it’s not the first time he (has gone)got through this.
I’m not his unfinished business. It’s her.
I see her. I can see her dark hair and brown eyes, I can see we have the same face,(period) now I know she hurt him by passing out suddenly and leaving this world, giving him no warning of her left(Departure). As we become one with him, I can see everything he has ever done, I know he’s crying for me now, I know he cried for her at the time. I know she’s dead. I know he wanted to be with her.
I just don’t understand why he couldn’t see that light everyone mentions. As I fell deep into his memories, I can see(hear, you can’t physically see laughter) her laughter, I can see her crying, I can feel her warm lips, feel her body under me… right now, as he thinks I’m dying, and we’re sharing the same mind with him. I feel myself slipping through, I feel myself fading(period), I’m turning into air and dust.
I know I’m dying. He knows I’m dying. I just wish he could go and get the one he ever loved.
As the feeling of dying reaches, I wake up.
I knew this was a dream.
But it was too real to be a dream.

My thoughts on the overall piece, aside from the grammatical errors and whatnot, is that it was really good. My only other nitpicks about it would be that I think you should capitalize this “He”/”Him” character. I get that you are trying to keep everything kind of vague and mysterious, which in some instances, you pulled off very well, but in others I was just like “What the eff is going on?!” So I’m a little confused.
My first guess as to what was happening was that “I” had cheated “Death” (Him) and Death was coming back for “Me”. But then it became a little hard to follow, especially when “I” was talking about the four men who tried to kill “Me” in “My” sleep.
Other than that, I liked how you kept me interested in the story and how you pieced everything together, even if I didn’t really get some of it. I might just be slow, you never really know.