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Young Writers Society


Dreamweaver



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Points: 1740
Reviews: 29
Sat Aug 13, 2011 2:34 am
Chosenofair says...



The old man stopped and sighed, laying aside his pen to stretch. The last words he had written glared up at him like a slighted whore, and it made him feel diseased. Writing stories was nothing to him. The words came as easily as breathing. And as he wrote them, he owned them. He held them close to his heart like a small fluttering bird. He was desperate to keep them there, to hold them so no one else may have to see, but they were fated to be cast out into the world. His words were for the world now, and not simply his to own. His face faded into tired lines while he looked at the paper he had just filled. Flickering light from a lamp perched precariously on the corner of his cluttered old desk illuminated only half of his face, filling the wrinkles with shadow and making him look even older. Closer to his actual age than how he looked in full light. One cannot help but age well when one has an eternity to spend writing stories.
His stretch finished, he picked up his pen again and drew out a fresh sheet of paper. He tapped the pen’s tip against it almost absentmindedly, waiting for the words to come to him. Yet no words came. It was no surprise. He had written sweet and light for so long. It was time for darkness to seep in and poison his stories. It already had, in the last parts of his latest weaving. The story had begun beautifully there, with two lovers lost in the wood, yet it had ended in sorrow. A snake had come to eat out the girl’s heart, and she was left crying and alone in the wood.
He knew what it meant, of course. He knew what all of his words meant. Her love had left her, flown away to another. The snake, eternal symbol of deception, had clawed its way into her heart, then took it like a well-practiced thief. She had been betrayed by her love, and he, the old man, was the orchestrator of the betrayal. It was unwillingly, of course. He hated causing people to suffer. He hated writing the things that made people toss and turn and wake up crying, but all of that was simply a part of being a dreamweaver. He stood outside the bonds of time, and wrote of things that would make all people laugh, cry, and shudder; dance, and fly, only to come crashing back to the ground.
His next dream would be even darker. It had to be. The only way to balance the light in the world was to add darkness to it. His only choice in the matter was who the darkness would go to. He had the power to send it to someone strong enough to bear it, or someone so weak they would collapse at the first image in the dream.
He began with a simple description of the person he was writing to, as always. A young girl, no older than the last, of brown hair, pale skin, a long nose, and clever eyes. His pen scratched away at the paper while he described the room in which the story took place. It was a broad, rich room, of marble columns and gold inlay. Tall arches on either side looked out over a land of hills and pastures, but the land was not well. Close to the hill that this room was on, the ground was rich and green, but farther off it began to turn brown and crack. The land was blighted, and crumbling. Not merely dying, but crumbling away into nothingness. Soon, the hill this room was on would overlook the edge of the world.
In the middle of the room sat a pedestal, and on that pedestal sat an urn. It was an urn of gold, of course, for no other material would truly fit in the splendor of that room. With a few simple words, he sketched the girl into the image. Facing her towards the urn in such a way that would allow her to see the crumbling land, he called her bit by bit. Finally, she was solid, blinking away the sleep from her eyes. She looked around with her clever eyes and saw the edge of the world growing nearer. Her expression did not grow fearful or sad. It merely grew tighter with the determination of one who knew what she had to do. The old man murmured appreciatively. She was the right choice. She could take the darkness, hold it, and banish it with her own words.
It took only a few more of his own words to finish out this short story. He wrote of an eagle, a great golden eagle, that flew down to the urn. Deftly, the eagle plucked two eyes out of the ashes that lay within and flew back to its nest. Now the girl looked shaken. The eagle had disturbed the dead and taken something whole out of something broken. Not only something whole, but something worth knowing. Eyes. Observing, seeing, knowing. The key to the girl’s knowledge had just been taken out of that urn and away from the crumbling edge of the world. Her brow wrinkled for just a moment, confusion clouding her face, before she vanished and the room, the tomb of the last pillar of the world, faded.
The old man stopped scratching away at the paper and sighed, laying aside his pen to stretch once more. Each new story he wrote pulled at him a little more. Each bit of darkness he added to someone’s life added a bit more to his own. And he was old, so very old. The lamplight flickered on his face again, dipping half of it into shadow while painting the other half with graceful spiderweb cracks. His head nodded down over the still-wet ink of the story he had just penned. Perhaps he could sleep for a while. Deep, dreamless sleep. After all, there was no one to write dreams for the dreamweaver. He knew he should not sleep. He who does not dream, does not exist, and there must always be a dreamweaver in the world.
But he was so very tired…
I dream of a better tomorrow where chickens may cross the road without having thier motives questioned.
  





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Sat Aug 13, 2011 3:02 am
Noelle says...



Hi there!

This is a great piece. I enjoyed reading it! It was very well written and I couldn't find any spelling or grammer mistakes.

I realy wish you would have said what the prompt was. What I got from it was that you were supposed to write about Shakespeare being a writer (I am right about this being for your Shakespeare class, right?). With the prompt at the top of this piece, the reader may be able to understand it better.

Overall I think this was a good piece. Keep writing! :)
Noelle is the name, reviewing and writing cliffhangers is the game.

Writer of fantasy, action/adventure, and magic. Huzzah!

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"I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done." -- Steven Wright

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Sat Aug 13, 2011 4:54 am
LynnB says...



Wow! I was very impressed with this piece even after the first paragraph. Your use of language was beautiful, and I loved it because I felt like it could describe any writer. I hate writing sad things, but that's usually how my stories end up. When I was reading your piece, I felt like it was written especially for me. The other people in your class are definitely lucky to have you! I look forward to reading more of your writing.
~Lynnette
  





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Sat Aug 13, 2011 9:58 pm
arspoetica says...



I went into this piece determined to give helpful tips but i can't think of anything! I didn't see any grammatical mistakes, or any lines that were confusing or choppy. It all flowed very nicely and was extremely interesting! Amazing job!
Insanity is the spark creativity.
  





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Sat Aug 13, 2011 10:30 pm
Chosenofair says...



I got a request for what the prompt was. It was actually an assignment to interpret Hermia's dream from A Midsummer Night's Dream, and then one of our own dreams. I went a bit overboard... *sweatdrop*
I dream of a better tomorrow where chickens may cross the road without having thier motives questioned.
  





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Tue Aug 30, 2011 1:28 am
katngo73 says...



Hello!

I thought this was a very touching story, hearing about one who conjures dreams. I like the description. It made me so happy. I love it how you explained everything in a way that made me think, "What an awesome story!" You should definitely make this into a novel.

I think this deserves first place in the contest!!!



GREAT JOB AND KEEP WRITING!!!!!!!

~Kat
“There’s no point in being grown up if you can’t act a little childish sometimes.”-The Fourth Doctor
"Who I was, what I did, that's not who I am." - Castiel
"Friends protect you." - John Watson
  





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Wed Oct 19, 2011 7:25 pm
roostangarar says...



I don't know if I hate you or love you right now. Yes this piece is incredible. But it's going to be an absolute nightmare to review because it's so well written. As mentioned before, I can't pick up on any spelling or grammatical errors, so that's the easy option gone. Oh well.
So, more in-depth then. Your descriptions are incredible, and I really bonded with the old man. I like how you described him gradually over the course of the piece, not info-dumping like you sometimes see. Again, I really sympathised with him, and felt I could picture him perfectly, scribbling away, all downtrodden and weary. The girl on the other hand was a little bit transparent. She seemed more like a plot device than a real person. And I didn't really understand how exactly she was involved in the dream. Did she understand that it was out of her control, and that the dream wasn't one that she thought up? In my opinion, you need to expand upon the girl as a character, and less as a means with which to move the story along. And the thing with the eyes, were they hers in a way? It seems like they belonged to an incinerated corpse, but then they would have been burnt as well. I understood the whole part about knowledge, but not how they corresponded to the girl.
Of course, these are just my opinions on how I interpreted it, and it was a very well written piece. And please PM me if you want any more of my thoughts on this piece, or if I didn't go into enough detail. Keep it up!
(And I'll get the second review done soon, I promise. Sorry it's taken so long.)
I hae but ane gallant son, and if he were to follow me in my footsteps, how proud I shall be.

Time isn't a straight line. It's a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff
  








"I never expected that I should be a queen so soon."
— Alice's Adventures in Wonderland