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Out With Magic Part 2



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Wed Jul 27, 2011 10:09 pm
RoarShark says...



Chapter Two – A Serpent’s Tale
Two Years Later – England – August 1st, 1458
Over the years little occurred in Dax’s life. He lived an unchanged routine. Every day he woke up earlier than the sun and his family. He found his usual spot and wasted away the day. He was dying for something new to happen in his life. The only new occurrence in life for him at the time was the learning of magic that occurred without his knowledge.
Dax lay in the fields that he visited daily. The grass poked through his hair and rubbed up against his face. As usual his mind was off in another world lost in the skies. The clouds changed their form regularly as they floated through the pale blue sky. Yet there was something strange about them today. The white whisking clouds, that appeared more often than those that took on shape, were gone. Dax was so focused on objects in the sky that the clouds formed whatever object he desired to see.
“The clouds look beautiful today don’t they?” asked a voice from behind Dax. He was almost startled, but again it was part of his daily routine. Mary always would come and find him just to ask a question, and then beckon that he take her home. Dax’s head turned towards his sister, he had an annoyed look on his face. The clouds dispersed as he stopped looking at them.
“You are controlling them aren’t you?” asked Mary. Dax looked back up at the sky and the clouds reappeared forming fantastical shapes. This answered Mary’s question. Dax held out his hand. He was still laying on the ground. Mary bent down and grabbed hold of it. Rather than the two walking home, Dax pulled Mary down to the ground and instructed her to watch the sky.
A fantastic story played out in the sky before Mary and Dax’s eyes. The two children watched without looking away for even a split second. The story was of a young boy and girl, similar to Dax and Mary, who were lost in the woods. As they found their way out of the forest, they met two animals. One was a snake were as the other was a turtle. The snake was daring and adventurous where as the turtle was overly cautious and often retreated back inside his shell. The boy and girl found the animals to be interesting. The girl found the snake more interesting, where as the boy found the turtle more interesting. The snake led the girl on adventures all throughout the forest. The turtle shared his secrets of how to be safe with the boy. The two children shared their stories of their animal friends with the other. The boy found the snake to be a bad example, the girl felt the same about the turtle. Before long the girl convinced the boy to come with her on an adventure with the snake. The snake led them to a tree that formed the most fantastic fruit. When the boy and girl ate the fruit, they suddenly became more aware of the world. Both saw the dangers that following the snake had imposed upon them. They went back to the turtle. Still to this day the children follow the turtle's actions rather than that of the snake.
When the story ended the clouds swirled around before they began to tell another tale, this one had more truth to it. It showed a terrible war being waged across Europe. Fires burned across cities. People ran for their lives. Dax believed that he saw a hooded figure running through town causing chaos. Mary screamed before the clouds could finish their second story. The clouds quickly dispersed at the sound of her scream. Tears rolled out of her eyes.
“What happened?” asked Dax.
“The clouds. They - they showed people dying and a great war between people. I saw you there… but- but I did not see myself,” answered Mary. Her voice quivered on every other vowel.
“I saw a war, but it was in the future, at a time when neither of us are alive,” said Dax.
“Why did I see what I did then?” asked Mary. She was obviously scared.
“It might have been a vision, has this ever occurred before?” asked Dax.
“Only once before, but I saw a future where I was living in a bright distant land,” answered Mary.
Dax stood up and held his hand out to his sister to help her up. She grabbed his hand and he pulled her up to her feet. The two walked together as they always do down the path with bushes on both sides. Dax made sure to walk on the side where the thorns grew to prevent Mary from getting hurt again. He had done so ever since the incident with the thorn cutting Mary. He was scared though. He was scared of the vision Mary had seen. He couldn’t imagine Mary dying before him; he could not bear the thought of his parents’ deaths either. Her other vision other bother Dax. She was living in a bright distant land. To Dax this for some reason sounded like heaven. Dax also got a strange feeling in his stomach when thinking about this. He felt that he might have something to do with her vision and what she saw. He felt his eyes water at this thought.
Mary and Dax soon arrived at their house. Smoke was bellowing out of the chimney as usual. In Dax’s opinion, it seemed as though they had arrived earlier than usual. They walked into the house together as they always did. Smiles were on their faces. The room that they entered seemed eerily empty.
“Mother!” yelled Dax. He expected her to come running towards them with open arms. Nothing happened though, the only response was some coughing from the chairs in the large room. Dax ran towards the chairs, nearly knocking them over in the process. A body lay on the dirty floor. The body’s lips were an odd color and snot and other bodily fluids were around the body. The eyes were clouded. Mary followed Dax. As soon as she saw the body she let out a terrible shriek.
“MOTHER!” she yelled and bent down to reach for the body. Dax pulled her arm away from the body. The body of their mother was motionless. She was still alive, as far as Dax could tell at least. Their mother was in great pain and needed help.
“Please… go find… cure,” whimpered their mother. Her voice was weak and fading. She coughed several times. Dax heard another set of coughs coming from the room with all the beds. He could only assume that it belonged to his father. He dared not enter, for the sight of his father's body would surely cause him more pain. Tears slowly rolled down his cheeks and slowly fell onto the floor.
“Come Mary, we need to find the nearest doctor,” said Dax.
“Mary… I…” said the mother as she coughed violently, “you.” Tears welded up in Mary’s eyes. Dax pulled on her dress for her to come. Mary followed Dax out of the house. Tears were rolling down both Mary and Dax's faces. Dax knew that his parents would not survive this; he just knew it. Mary on the other hand was quite optimistic. She believed that both of her parents would live. She wished that it was her in their position. They quickly ran out the door of their home back into the fields of tall green and yellow grass. They stood looking in all directions.
"Which way is the nearest town?" asked a panicked Dax.
"I haven't the slightest clue!" yelled Mary. Dax ran off towards the left of where they were standing, Mary followed closely behind. The bright blue sky that told stories to them slowly became hidden behind low hanging gray clouds. The fields of grass that surrounded their house disappeared. The bright green grass was turning dark and was becoming sparse. Large daunting trees began to develop overhead. The branches of the trees formed dark crooked archways under which they traveled. They had entered a forest of sorrow and fear.
Dax felt his sister grab hold of his hand. He started down at her hand and remembered she had told him to fend off evil, they should hold hands. He held on to Mary's hand tight. He would never let it go unless she asked. She was all he had left. He wished he knew magic, not just silly magic that any child knew real magic that he could defend Mary and save their parents. He knew no such magic, or so he thought. The more he thought of defensive magic, the larger a memory grew in his mind.
He remembered back to a time when his father was telling him of magic, and the study of it. He strongly remembered his father saying something about thinking and believing in an idea to make it come true. If he thought and believed in Mary and himself being safe, would they actually be safe? He hoped so.
"Dax, I'm scared," said Mary. Her voice had a few trembles in it. Dax felt her hand slip away. She had let go of his hand. This was unlike her. She never would let go of the one form of protection she had left. Had she realized that even her brother, the only person she could depend on, was not enough protection from the world outside of grass fields where their house was settled? Dense grey fog was forming around their feet. The forest was becoming darker and grimmer as time ticked away.
As Dax felt Mary's hand slip away from his, his heart pounded, almost in relief, but also in fear. He quickly turned around to find Mary staring ahead towards three tall dull gray stones. Strange letters were engraved into the stones. One of the letters looked like the letter 'n', but Dax was not sure if it was or not. It became apparent quickly that these three stones were actually head stones. Mary had walked up towards the stones and was reaching for them.
"Mary don't!" yelled Dax. Mary backed away quickly. She gave Dax a strange glare.
"You are scaring the girl even more than she already is," said a wicked crackling voice that echoed out of the trees. The cawing of crows sounded off throughout the forest as a flock of crows flew off.
"Show thy self!" yelled Dax. Mary trotted back to Dax; her fear seemed to be going away. She got behind him and hid herself. She seemed to hid herself in Dax's back.
"Why?" asked the voice. It echoed throughout the entire forest, and in Dax's head. His mother had always told him of the evil that existed beyond the land of their house. He never really believed that the rest of the world was as wicked as his mother had said, he was wrong. In his mind he was thinking of some way to save Mary and himself. Whenever her thought of something, the thought seemed to fly away.
"How you have grown. You were a little one when I last saw you," said the voice.
"Last saw me?" asked Dax.
"I was talking to her!" snapped the voice.
"Show yourself to me. Please," said Mary, her voice had a fearful tone in it. She shook as she stood looking down at the three stones. She seemed to know something that Dax did not. The voice’s source soon appeared. A long, thick greenish gray serpent slithered out of the forest that surrounded Mary and Dax. The serpent had two long black stripes down its back that connected to each other towards the end of the body. On the head there were three orange spots, each of which seemed to emanate a faint glow. The serpents tongue flicked in and out of its mouth, its forked shaped pierced the air as it went. Dax focused on him and Mary flying away, nothing of the sorts happened though.
“I am here,” hissed the serpent. The mouth of the serpent moved as it talked, it seemed haunted. Dax and Mary both were startled by the serpent and slowly moved backwards. The serpent slithered towards the two, and as it moved it talked.
“You don’t remember me. 'Tis understandable for I should not expect all I meet to remember me. You were a special one though. I remember our first meeting fondly. It was a dark night, one of the darkest I can remember, and you cried. Your cry was shrill and sounded cold hearted. Heat seemed to radiate off of your head, you were such a sick child. Your parent pleaded for you, for your soul to keep. I was the only one to respond to their pleas. I offered a deal to them. Your father’s heart was offered for your life. He became my servant here in this realm, for he had, in his early childhood, meddled in magic from my realm. He seemed to be the perfect candidate for my deeds. He did his job admirably, yet he started to become distracted. I could not risk his distraction leading towards something bigger, , so I laid a curse on him and his wife,” spoke the serpent.
Dax focused on the serpent disappearing from the world, leaving Mary and he alone. Nothing occurred. He wondered why no matter what he thought of, no matter how hard, nothing happen. He began to ponder how he could kill the serpent. He wished he knew a spell that would kill the serpent. Mary was entangled in the serpent’s tale. She longed for more information on the story.
“Why should we believe you?” asked Dax.
“I have not been talking to you, have I?” asked the serpent, “No, I have been speaking to the girl.” It slithered closer to Mary. It curled around her feet. Mary tried to avoid it but she could not escape. The snake began to slither up Mary's shoulder next to her ear.
“Why do you haunt me?” asked Mary.
“I gave you life, part of my life,” answered the serpent as its head turned towards Dax. “Do you remember when she was ill? Do you remember when you and your parents plead for her life? I know you do. It is the reason why you love her as much as you do. She is your miracle, the proof that there is a God in your eyes.”
“No, I don’t remember,” lied Dax. He did remember. Everything the serpent had said was true. Dax remembered the countless nights that his mother had stayed up crying because she believed Mary was dying. He remembered the pale face of Mary, and how it seemed almost lifeless. He remembered the fearful look both of his parents had on their faces for nearly two years straight. Dax remembered how when he was three Mary suddenly became healthy. He had heard his parents thank the Lord.
“Yet, you had no idea that it wasn’t your God who saved your sister, rather the opposite,” stated the serpent. It slithered down Mary’s back and slowly tangled itself around Dax’s feet.
“Lies!” yelled Mary. The movement of the serpent suddenly stopped. It was if it had forgotten that Mary was there. Slowly but surely it inched its way back towards Mary. Her heart was pounding; she could not believe that she was saved by something other than God. What else was there other than God? The Devil?
“I don’t lie to you child. I only wish to offer you a way to save the ones you love. Take this, this fruit bears the knowledge to save those whom you love so dear. It is the only thing that can help you save your loved ones,” said the serpent. The serpent slowly crawled back up Mary’s back onto her shoulder where it had been earlier. She involuntarily held out her hand. Inside of it a fruit magically materialized. The fruit was red and plump; it looked irresistible. The serpent mouthed the words “eat it”. Mary slowly, but surely, took a bite of the fruit. Dax’s mind yelled for Mary to stop; yet no words came out of his mouth. He was paralyzed with fear.
As she took a bite of the fruit and she fell gracefully to the ground. Everything about her seemed to stop, almost if she were dead. The serpent slithered off of her shoulder onto the ground beside her. Mary was not dead though. Dax ran up to Mary. He felt his eyes watering.
“Mary… why?” asked Dax. Mary lay there with no movement other than a faint heart beat. Her heart seemed to skip a beat after every third beat. Dax wondered had she died? He imagined her soul wondering off towards a distant bright white light. Had this been the distant bright land she had envisioned herself living in? Dax blamed himself for her death, for he could not conjure up to the courage to stand up to the serpent.
“She is comatose. She will never wake again. She will die. Just as she should have all those years ago,” said the serpent. It then disappeared in a whirlwind of shadows. The whirlwind swallowed the serpent whole. Dax heard hisses echoing throughout the forest.
Dax picked up Mary. He struggled to hold her in his arms without dropping her. She was heavier it seemed. They moved forward, out of the forest fast. the forest was beginning to thin out and trees became less daunting. The clouds became livelier, yet they still kept a dull gray color. Patches of the pale blue sky could be seen thru the clouds. A foul smell arose in the air. It blanketed the land outside of the forest. Smoke could be seen rising above the horizon, fueling the already gray sky. A gray brick wall was emerging from behind the horizon. They had finally reached a town. The land outside the city seemed stricken of all life. Dax wondered if there was anyone living inside the town. . It seemed like fires were raging throughout the entire city from Dax’s vantage point. He thought he saw something black crawling on the distant wall.The only thing that stuck out to Dax, which seemed to have the slightest chance of containing life, was a small caravan, just outside the city.
Clothes were hung on ropes just outside of the caravan. The horses, which were used to draw the caravan, slept on the ground with hay all around them. A kettle pot sat outside as well. Steam rose off of it. A woman was stirring the pot. Her face looked puzzled like she was thinking about a riddle. She kept glancing back towards the city as if she were looking for someone or something to leave the city. Not once did she look towards Dax. Dax could only catch a glance at one side of her.
She wore all black; no other color was located on her, other than her bright green eyes. She seemed to have a large broken nose. Her mouth was stretched longer than it should be. Her skin was pale, especially pale seeing as it was summer time. She had tangled long black hair that reached down towards the lower portions of her legs. Wrapped around her head was a black cloth. She wore a long black dress that swept over her feet. The edges were torn and tethered.
“Help!” yelled Dax in the direction of the woman. The woman turned towards him, revealing a gruesome scar that was on the side of her face that had been hidden from view. The scar had a dark red tone to it, which faded, as it got closer to the edge of the scar. Around the scar were the remnants of a tattoo. Dax wondered if she, or someone else, had tried to remove the tattoo and thus gained a scar.
“Oh dear, are the two of you okay?” asked the woman.
“No my sister, she has been cursed,” answered Dax. He was shaken by the experience with the serpent and so his speech seemed stiff.
“Let me see ‘er then,” said the woman. Dax hesitated at first to let the woman see his sister, but this was the only chance she had of surviving. He gave Mary to the woman, and a sense of relief flowed over Dax.
“I am sorry to say this, but she’s dead. I am terribly sorry,” said the woman.
“Please, you must have medicine or some sort of magic,” pleaded Dax.
“Magic?” asked the woman. She seemed shocked by the question. She at first looked like she was about to say a spell, rather she fumbled over her words.
“-Er, I thought that you might have power over magic,” said Dax.
“Magic isn’t real child. It doesn’t exist.”
“Liar!” yelled Dax. He grabbed Mary from the woman. He started heading back to the forest from whence he came. He eventually found his way back to the spot where the three graves stones were. He laid Mary down next to the smallest stone. She was dead. The woman hadn’t lied.
“Good-bye,” whispered Dax. A single tear rolled down his face and fell onto Mary’s. Small droplets of rain began to fall from the sky above.
Nearly crying he ran back towards the fields that he had come from. He hoped that somehow, some way, his parents were alive and could comfort him. He found his way back to the fields. They had changed though. No longer were they vibrant with colors. They had turned dull and even seemed burned. He saw over the hills the place where the house should stand. Nothing was there, only a small pile of wood, which had smoke rising from it. Yet again he thought he saw a black creature crawling over the ruins. He had lost his paradise -- he had lost everything. His parents were dead, as was his sister. His heart sank into an uncontrolled sadness. His life was forever changed. He could never go back. He sat there for a long time before he finally fell asleep. The misting rain never stopped throughout the entire day.

---------

This is a continuation of a story I started writing, you can view the first part http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?t=83934
  





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Wed Jul 27, 2011 10:17 pm
RoarShark says...



livurdestiny wrote:fix


What?
  





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Thu Jul 28, 2011 12:55 am
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Abigail_W. says...



Sorry RoarShark, I don't have time to read this right now, but to livurdestiny: when giving reviews, it isn't beneficial to the author and you will be reported if you quote the whole work just to get enough points for it to be considered a review. Note the reviewing checklist on the right-hand side of the page. YWS is about being helpful, not about being #1 on the reviewers list.
  





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Thu Jul 28, 2011 5:18 am
Iggy says...



Stop it! Stop being an amazing writer!! Grr! XD

Again, the imagery was beautiful. Very descriptive. No punctuation, grammar, or spelling errors. Good job. I liked the length of the paragraphs; not too short, not too long. But, the thing about Mary: You made her die too soon. You should've added a heart-to-heart dialouge between her eating the fruit and her dying. Also, is the mother dead? Where's the father?

Can't wait to read more! :)

- Ariel.
“I can't go back to yesterday because I was a different person then."
- Lewis Carroll
  





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19 Reviews



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Thu Jul 28, 2011 6:03 am
RoarShark says...



Thanks Ariel! And Mary may or may not be dead... not completely. I've got ideas floating around. I do have a question though, does Dax seem believable and likeable so far?
  








Half the work that is done in this world is to make things appear what they are not.
— Elias Root Beadle