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21 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1242
Reviews: 21
Mon Jun 13, 2011 7:38 pm
meganTQ says...



Deleted
Last edited by meganTQ on Sat Aug 13, 2011 5:08 pm, edited 3 times in total.
~Una palabra no dice nada y al mismo tiempo lo esconde todo~ Carlos Varela
  





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80 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 333
Reviews: 80
Tue Jun 14, 2011 1:22 pm
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polinkacreations says...



I like it:)
It's very original, and indeed I also think there's no life without love! I did find though, that the cupid decided to shoot the black arrow too soon, I think there should be more description or more text leading to obviously a very important part in the story. But I really like it, and I'm waiting for a second part, maybe?:)
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
  





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50 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 1856
Reviews: 50
Wed Jun 15, 2011 4:47 pm
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Chelsea4827 says...



I really liked this, I have never read something like this before and I actually found it sad :( Aha ;)

Well done, I enjoyed it . Keep it up :)
In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. -- Blaise Pascal
  





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41 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 240
Reviews: 41
Wed Jun 15, 2011 8:40 pm
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BelarusBirdy says...



I hope you write another, it was so original!!! I love it!!!
A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes. I screamed aloud as it tore through them and now it's left me blind.
Florence and the Machine, Cosmic Love
  





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1503 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 156589
Reviews: 1503
Thu Jun 16, 2011 6:04 pm
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IcyFlame says...



Here as requested! :D
Nitpicks:
meganTQ wrote:He’d known nothing like it, but he knew the time had come.

I find this hard to understand - if he had known nothing like it then how would he know what to do? Perhaps you could show us a little of the thought process that lead up to the decision?

meganTQ wrote:rembling hands and fired it with perfect precision
these two statements seem to contradict themselves.

Overall this was good and fairly original - you could quite easily extend it into a novel or novella if you wished and show the life of this girl and how she fights for love. Good job and keep writing :)
  





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115 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 6915
Reviews: 115
Tue Jun 28, 2011 4:49 pm
LittlePrincess says...



This was beautifully original and creative. I loved it. I think you could really expand on this story and perhaps talk about the life of the girl incapable of love, this setup holds extraordinary amounts of potential. Your writing is great and I think you have the talent to make this amazing. Please, please, if you write more (which I strongly suggest) then send me the next part, I'm interested to see how this turns out. Great work!

My only small critique is that you give a little more into the prophecy, who gave the prophecy, what it's about, more of what it says and also I was confused as to why Cupid needed the black arrow.
"One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."
The Little Prince
  








The author of my life has some ambitious ideas for me to become a super villain
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