Spoiler! :
Marena’s senses were overwhelmed. Rough straps held her to the glass; they burned every time they rubbed against her tawny skin. A high pitched humming filled the air. Glaring blue light tore through her eyelids. Then there were the voices. They had droned on so long they faded into the background with the buzzes and clicks of machines.
But now they had all gone quiet, except for one.
“Hello?”
Marena’s eyes flickered open at the voice. She instantly flinched away from the blinding lights. But she couldn’t turn away; she could barley move an inch.
“You’re awake.”
Ignoring the man, she waited a few seconds and tried again. This time she was able to stand it, and she scanned the room for the speaker. There he was. How could he even face her? She turned away in disgust. After what he did. There was a long awkward pause. He was waiting for her to reply, to say something. Maybe he even expected an ‘I forgive you.’ Well, there wasn’t a chance of that.
Instead, she focused on the room around her. Through the glass tank walls she could make out the small room around her. It looked like a laboratory. Machines she couldn’t name were humming. Computers streamed data, and a TV was flashing pictures of her. How long had she been out of it? She strained to push her head above water. She could just get her mouth to the surface. She breathed in to capture the smells - all she got was antiseptic and plastic. Gagging, she sunk under the water again, and turned her head back to the man when he spoke.
“Pretty soon you will get a bigger tank,” he ventured. “Maybe you will even get dolphins to play with or something.” This comment was given with a sneer. He was annoyed that she didn’t respond.
Well, let him be annoyed, she thought.
“Everybody keeps arguing about what to do with you. You’re causing this huge uproar. Some people think you should go on display.
“The military wants you too. They are crazy. They think they can find the rest of you…” He trailed off for a moment, unsure of his words, then started again. “…guys. I mean, even if you did let the info out they would never be able to control the rest of you. I mean, look at the trouble you gave them already. Right?”
Marena looked over to see him smiling. Did he really think that he was succeeding? She felt bad for his lack of intelligence.
“But, they would never hurt you. You are too precious, and I wouldn’t allow that.” His voice was almost pleading now. Marena felt a twinge of guilt. Would it be that horrible to talk to him? But no, he was a traitor. If he wanted her to respond he should be getting her out of this tank right now.
“They don’t know what things will affect you; they would never ruin their only specimen. They could wreck you so easily.
“It could take hours before they come to an agreement on where you should be shipped to while they get all the papers and such. Plus, everything is still being kept confidential. Thankfully nothing has escaped to the media yet. Just wait, though; these things take time. You’ll be outa here soon.”
The man’s words had already faded to Marena. She was lost in her own world, staring into space. It was funny how quickly he was going from talking to her like he actually cared to talking to her like she was an animal, then back again. He obviously didn’t know what he was feeling at all.
Marena wondered what he was thinking. She had thought - no, she had hoped - that there was something still between them. Hadn’t he loved her? Hadn’t he fallen into her arms? So why now was he talking like he had never seen her before, like she was some dumb, newly discovered creature?
She turned away. She didn’t need to listen to him. She would not give him the pleasure. But his face was still before her. She had so many questions in her mind. She barely knew him. He didn’t know her. What had happened? Why did she do what she did, and why did he do what he did? The first night she had just wanted blood. She now was uncertain. Maybe she had wished for a lover from the start. She wondered what her exact emotions had been that first night.
~~~
She was swimming up a small river. The seaweed scraped against her copper scales. Weeping willows grew along the shore. As they thinned, rolling fields opened up on both sides. She smiled. She was so close; she could smell him. She was hungry, starving. She needed a victim, and there he was. A smile parted her lips as she took him in. His emotions flowed from him freely. Low as a man could get - alone with a broken heart - he was perfect, or he should have been.
Marena sunk low in the water, and kept moving closer. She started to sing, her lips touching the water as they parted. The song was beautiful and soft. Finally, she was at the edge of the water. She reached her arms up waiting for her prey to fall into them by choice. But he didn’t come - not yet.
Somehow he wasn’t spellbound by her mermaid’s beauty. Instead he scrambled backwards, eyes wide.
“Get away from me!”
What? She was so close. She had never been turned down before. No man could resist her. She lunged forward, anger running through her. He wasn’t going to get away. She snatched his jeans and pulled, but the fabric ripped. He was already turning running away from the river.
She screeched, then turned away from his disappearing form and dove into the murky water with a splash of her tail. For a while she let her anger take her over. She stirred the water so much that she couldn’t see anymore, then she sunk to the bottom and lay in wait. She wasn’t going to let this one get away. She had to have him. For some reason, she needed this one. No other man would do.
His face came into her mind. It was so flawed, ugly - exactly like all the other humans. He was plain, with short brown hair. He was tan, but not dark. He was average. There was nothing extreme about him. So why was she trying to remember every detail?
~~~
Marena brought herself back to the present. She didn’t want to think about her stupidity. How could she have been swept up by him? The first night she had obviously just been hungry. That was why she had waited another night, wasn’t it? She turned her head and focused her green eyes on the man. She still didn’t know his name. He wasn’t rambling about the scientists anymore. He had fallen silent a while back, but she couldn’t remember when exactly. They locked eyes for a moment. She realized that he had simply been staring at her for the past minutes, and for the first time in her life she wanted to cover herself up.
“You know you are a very beautiful girl.”
Marena turned away at the words. For some reason she couldn’t meet his eyes. What was wrong with her? After a second she recovered, and she rolled her eyes. A human would say such a stupid thing. Of course she was beautiful. How many men had told her that? Like she really cared what they thought.
The only problem was she had cared. She had hesitated.
“The way your tail shimmers in the light…” He paused. “I never thought that a mermaid could have a copper tail. In the moonlight it looks black, though, and sometimes even silver. Each scale is its own color, yet they are all one. They mix and separate. Even now, in this florescent lighting, they are indescribable. Your hair is stunning. It’s so smooth and silky. And your eyes, I have never seen ones such as yours. They are so vibrant, like all the summer greens mixed into one. I don’t think after seeing you I could look at anyone else.” He was obviously rambling.
Don’t listen to him, Marena told herself. Listening to him is what got her here, strapped down in a tiny, foul tank with old water and no air. She had been so stupid. He had said she was beautiful and soft and perfect. They were the first real compliments she had received. Because she could tell that he wasn’t under her beauty. But they had been lies. None of her friends would ever have cared if a human said they were pretty. They wouldn’t have come back like she did. She was supposed to be the smart one, and look at her now.
“Are you even listening to me?” he asked. A flick of her tail was the only response he got. She had to stay strong. But she didn’t feel strong. She knew something wasn’t right; every time she shifted something in her belly protested. It wasn’t in her stomach exactly; it was at the center of her.
“I didn’t do it on purpose. You do know that, right? I only showed the pictures to a few of my buddies. I didn’t even think that any of them would believe me. But they did, and my friend, Kyle, he works here. He is some sort of genius… if I had known what he would do I wouldn’t have showed a soul. I didn’t realize how much I cared. You have to forgive me. Please.” His voice cracked, but she turned and glared. She was glad he had reminded her. It was his fault. She loathed him. She struggled against her ties. She had to get to him. She needed to throttle him. She wanted him dead. Her attempt to lunge at him sent him backwards even though he was feet away. She kept her teeth bared; her eyes were wild.
He just stood there, and after a few minutes she slowly relaxed back against the wall. She started to work against the straps around her hands. But even if she could get them worked off it would take hours. She hated herself. She was so weak. She should have stopped before the second night. Maybe then things would have been different. Only three nights and her whole life had changed.
After the first night, when he ran away, she had waited - silent and still. He had come back, just like she knew he would. She watched him through the reeds. He had sat down, much farther back from the water than before. This time she waited before surfacing. When she did she started much softer than she had before. So soft that he didn’t even know she was there for some time.
She was close to him soon enough though. So close that she could feel his breath against her face. This was her chance, but she was distracted. Something black and small was in his left hand. Then his right hand started to move. He brushed one of her russet brown curls away from her cheek ever so gently with three fingertips. A shiver of goose-bumps ran up her arms. She could reach out and grab him now.
She could easily overpower him, but she hesitated. She realized she didn’t want to pull him under. She didn’t want to let him love no other women. She just wanted a kiss. But just as she leaned forward a flash of light had blinded her. With it fear and anger rushed through her veins. She was the deathly mermaid again. He was getting away for the second time. How could she let him go a second time?
~~~
Marena blinked as the lights shut off interrupting, her memory. She wondered if it was actually night. All of her senses were muddled and cut off. She was too far away from any nature. She felt like she was encased in thick plastic where she could only see blurred images. She wanted to see the moon, the stars, anything but sheetrock and whirring machines. She swallowed a few times. She felt like she had to throw up, but she recovered for the time being.
Now what she needed was sleep; it felt like she couldn’t keep her eyes open for one more second. But when she closed them she couldn’t drift off. She wondered where he was now. She wanted to know if he had a family or a sweetheart. He had said he had friends, so he wasn’t desperate like so many of the other men she captured. She had known why she had come back, but why had he? Did he really want her, or had he had the same black thing on the last night?
~~~
On the third night she wasn’t thinking straight. She had been sure he had done something to her with that black thing. That was why she wanted to go back, not to bring him to a watery grave, but just so he could sing to her. She wanted to know what his voice was like. She just had to know. The want was a burning sensation inside of her.
When he walked to the waters edge for the last time she did not slip out slowly. She was by his feet within seconds.
“Don’t run away from me,” she whispered. “I wouldn’t hurt you.” She smiled, showing a mouthful of dagger sharp teeth. “Come into the water with me.”
Marena’s words had been engraved in her. She had mixed feelings. She wasn’t sure what she wanted anymore. The man just stared at her. He was rigid and breathing deeply. It was obviously taking ever ounce of his strength to stay out of the river.
“I… I can’t.”
“Sing for me then, just one song. I have sung to you thrice now,” she whispered in her most seductive voice.
“I shouldn’t.”
She searched his eyes. He wanted to so bad so why did he resist? What would win him over? What was stopping him? She pulled herself farther up unto the bank, until she was a hairs width away from his chest and his breath dried her face and whispered again,
“Do you want to forget? Just for a little bit, all your problems could be gone.”
He sighed at her words. “I… I wish.” But then he fell silent.
His breath thundered in Marena’s ears. He lifted his arms and slid his hands up her bare back and pressed her into his chest.
“Could you really?” he asked.
She pressed her cheek into his and whispered in his ear, “All you have to do is ask.”
“Please. Please, just.”
But she hadn’t even reacted before he had pressed his lips against hers. This was not the way it was supposed to go. She was being pulled onto land instead of her pulling him into the water. She wasn’t supposed to be kissing him, he was supposed to be kissing her, but she had leaned forward when he broke away.
She wrapped her legs around him. Legs! Her tail was gone, her coppery, elegant tail. She didn’t even know how that had happened. But it didn’t matter now. She was pulling his jean shorts off of him. She couldn’t help herself. There was no turning back now. He was whispering delicate things into her ear. His skin was hot to her touch. It seared down her body, hotter than all the others. It was not just the normal warmth water took away.
“I love you. I would never hurt you,” he whispered, and that is when the ropes came. Suddenly the silent river was swarming with people. How could she have let her guard down?
“What did you do?” she hissed. But she didn’t wait for the answer. She turned away, but without her tail she couldn’t move as fast. She dove into the water awkwardly. Swimming to the bottom she began to wriggle downstream. But she ran into ropes. Nets were everywhere. They had set a trap. How come she believed him? By the time her tail morphed back there was no chance of her escape, but she still fought. She snapped ropes with her teeth. She ripped them apart with her claw-like fingernails. But, they were too much. She was slowly drug through the water to the bank. By now, lights were everywhere.
She was pulled over mud and gravel that scraped her fins. The rough grass made long paper cuts against her cheeks and arms. When a leg stepped too close to her face she lunged and bit down as hard as she could. The man screamed and someone hit her on the head, but still she wouldn’t let go. Someone yelled that they needed the tranquilizer. She let go then in the anticipation of pain. She was being lifted onto a truck.
She felt a prick in her arm and as she looked over she saw that someone was shooting a pale liquid into it. She struggled but too many hands were holding her down. Suddenly it was hard to keep going. She was exhausted. All she could see were flashes of arms and legs. But then she saw his face. He was standing there, by two other humans - standing there unscathed, calm, and he wasn’t lifting a finger to try to stop them.
Just as images started to blur, she screamed at him. She told him how she would have killed him if she got the chance. How she would have made it slow and painful. How she would have cut designs on his face with her fingers, how she would have let him breathe long enough to stay alive. But then everything became too much, and she couldn’t keep her eyes open one more second. She was still.
~~~
The second part can be found here.
hahahah it's really good!!! AHH second part, here I come! 
). I think it's actually really impressive how you manage to get your reader immediately behind the plight and conflict of your main character even though we know so little about her and her motive. I didn't even think to side-eye her predicament; you sold the negative atmosphere in the opening paragraphs, and my brain went, "Straps and confinement-- bad. I want her out of there!"
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