I have changed the beginning a bit and written several more pages. I have eddited it a bit but my grammer isnt the best so if you see any mistakes plz point them out.
“Surrender” his magically enhanced voice was heard by all.
John stood facing the front gate of the fortress, his black robes whipping around him in the wind.
On the castle walls stood three hundred men at arms, wearing the black and grey livery of the Duke of Venar.
“Leave these lands before we send you to the halls of the dead.”
“You are one man, you cannot take this castle alone, no mater how powerful you are.” shouted a man from above the gate.
This was followed by more taunts, which abruptly ended when a man, wearing heavy armour stepped out onto the battlements.
“Why have you come here to our lands?” he shouted, a voice used to giving orders.
“I have come because I want a kingdom to go with my power, what other reason do I need?” The lie came easily, it was too early for his true reasons to be known.
John left no pause for an answer to be given by the Duke, he knew that this could only end in one way. By the setting of the sun this night he would have the first part of his empire.
“If I must I will take your Dukedom by force,” said John,
“These are my lands and you alone cannot take them,” roared the Duke in reply,
“WRONG.” roared John enhancing his voice with magic, so that it shook the very ground.
Drawing on the magic within himself, John threw up a barrier around his body, then taking more magic, felt it flow with his thoughts, his will, a small spark flashed in the palm of his hand rapidly growing into a large ball of swirling fire.
Looking the Duke directly in the eyes John stretched his hand out towards him, the fireball shot through the air and exploded just before it reached the Duke.
“You see,” he bellowed, “I have a magician of my own, you cannot take my castle or my lands. Now run along before I change my mind and decide to have you killed.”
John simply smiled, at least thing would be a bit of fun, drawing of even more magic john didn’t bother to shape it, he simply threw it at the shield around the duke. There was no finesse in what he was doing, it was the magical equivalent of a brawl. John threw a constant flow of magic at the barrier, betting that the Dukes magician was no where near as strong.
John felt the barrier falter, smiling now John could see the magician on the wall. Sweat dripping down his brow, his power would fail him soon and then John would finish off the pesky Duke.
And there is was, the flash of pain across the magicians face just as his power fails, lucky him John only wanted to kill the Duke.
There was a loud crack and a bright flash of light, with all the magical energy been thrown at the barrier a storm had been created above the castle, dark ominous clouds. Playing out the battle high above in the sky. With the crack of lightning the shield fell. John drawing on his magic again created another ball of fire. This time there was no barrier to shield the Duke, taking the full force of the fire, the Duke was thrown from the battlements, his cries of pain ended with the wet smack of his body on the ground below.
A stunned silence followed until John quietly said, “Now open my gates,” even though his voice was quiet it still reached the ears of every man, woman and child in the castle
“How do we know you won’t kill us all after we open the gates?” asked someone from atop of the gates.
“Have I injured any here except for the Duke?” John asked, “Have I done anything but give you the chance to become my new capital? I haven’t injured your families or your friends.”
John could see a quiet argument starting between several of the officers standing on the battlements. None of them wanted to die, but John had just killed there Duke and a good Duke at that.
“You just killed someone who was a friend to almost every man here,” yelled down the man who John guessed was now in charge.
“To create an empire some people have to die,” said John, his patience was wearing thin, “Open the gates now or I will begin killing you one at a time until there is someone in charge who will open the gate and let this lands new lord in.”
Again John could see heated arguing but this time he also saw a man quietly walk up behind the man who had been talking to John and slip a blade into his back.
That seemed to end the argument, the gate began to open, John walked forward, his shield still set around him in case any of the soldiers got any ideas.
Three men where waiting on the other side of the gate, one dressed in armour stepped forward.
“My lord, sorry for the delay, some members of the castle had difficulty with the change of sovereignty,” he paused waiting for some sign of understanding from John.
With a nod John indicated that he understood exactly what the man had meant.
“I am Squire Gerith Kilarn,” he said bowing, “This is housecarl James, in charge of all the servants in the castle,” he said indicating an old scrawny man, with only thin white hair and a deeply wrinkled face.
“And this is, was, the Duke Advisor,” he said pointing to the third man, John knew immediately that it was the magician.
Looking at the housecarl John said, “Have the Dukes rooms cleaned, and all his belongings removed.” John then turned his attention to the magician, the housecarl understood that he had been dismissed and hurried to do as his new Lord had commanded.
“You should rest before the evening meal. I will wish to talk to you then.” Said John, the man nodded thankfully, it would take almost a day for him to fully recover.
Turing his attention back to the Squire John asked, “Are the men at arms going to be a problem?”
Shacking his head Gerith said “No my Lord, only a hundred of these men were the Dukes, the rest are men under my command. The Duke sent word to his Barons that an enemy was approaching. The lands of Kilarn are only two days ride from here and Baron Payan sent me with his men to reinforce the Dukes castle until the other barons could arrive.”
“And who was the man you, silenced?” asked John, looking carefully at the Squires eyes.
The Squires face remained impassive but his eyes displayed his worry. “He was the castle's Swordmaster.”
“What would happen to you should I be killed and another Duke be elected?” asked John, he could guess but he wanted to make sure that Geirth understood that his life lay with John remaining alive and in power.
To his credit Gerith didn’t hesitate in answering “I would be hung for treason and murder.”
John stood quietly looking at Gerith for another minute before talking again.
“Go and tell the towns people that they can return to there homes and make sure its known that I am now in charge, if I tell one of your men to do something and he disobeys I will assume that he and all the other soldiers are rebelling. So keep the Dukes men out of the castle.”
Bowing Gerith said “I will send them to inform the Barons of the change in leadership.”
He left to pass out the new orders, leaving John to admire his new castle. It was all grey stone and large walls but with its size the rooms must be huge and John would make sure that they were all well furnished.
A small boy came scurrying out of the large double doors that John guessed lead to the main hall.
“James has assigned me to be your guide,” said the boy, a fearful look on his face, he couldn’t have been more them twelve years old. He had light blond hair and strong green eyes.
“Is there anywhere you would like me to show you my Lord?” piped the boy.
Smiling John said, “Yes, could you show me where the Dukes rooms are, I would like to have a word with the newly widowed Lady,” The boy clearly didn’t understand the second part of what John had said but he still bowed and said, “This way my Lord.”
Leading him through the large doors John saw that he had been right, beyond the doors was the great hall, with large rising pillars rising up along the walls and stretching across the high ceiling. Only a few tapestries adorned the walls but the raised table at the end of the hall was of rich golden wood.
This place had a lot of potential thought John, already reordering the hall and its furnishings in his mind.
The boy lead him through a side door and up several flights of stairs, when they reached the third floor the boy said “This is the Dukes,” he quickly corrected himself, “I mean your floor my Lord, all the rooms on this floor are connected. Only those with your permission are allowed on this floor.”
“Thank you……”
“Derrick,” supplied the boy,
“Thank you Derrick, would you mind waiting here for a few minutes,” asked John,
Going red again Derrick said, “The housecarl said my duties in the kitchen were to wait until you dismissed me.”
The former Duke apartments where mostly dull, they were plain in the typical soldiers fashion, with only the essentials. The main room had a square strong table with four wooden chairs, they were practical but not something John would want to spend long hours sitting in. Otherwise the room had very little in it.
Walking through the apartments John saw a group of servants moving piles of clothing and other personal items out of different rooms. Seeing the housecarl John approached him.
“Remove all the tables and chairs but leave any books or writings, I prefer lavish furnishing to the practical. I am sure that in some of the guest rooms there must be a few good padded chairs and a decent table.”
“Yes my Lord,” said James
Just as James was leaving the room a tall lady walked into the room, there was no mistaking her as anyone else. She was defiantly the Dukes widow.
“How dare you,” she screeched, “Get out, get out, get out,” she yelled over and over again.
“Hold your tongue or I will remove it,” roared John, the Duke widow jumped back her whole body pressed against the wall, shaking she was so tense.
“The king will kill you,” she said in a quiet voice, no more then a mumble.
“Will he now, I would love to see that gift less fool try and kill anything with even half my power,” said John his anger still vibrating in his voice. His temper had always been quick to rise.
John calmed himself down before replying.
“If I hear you speak without my permission again I will have you given to the criminals in the city dungeon, do you understand?” John said, making his voice as cold as possible.
He could see her visible cringe as a chill ran up her spin.
“I expect to see you and your daughter in the hall this evening, you can arrange with James as to which room you want your stuff moved.” John said as he moved away from the Duchess.
“I,” she took a deep breath, “I don’t have a daughter.”
She whimpered as he quickly turned on her.
“Then who is that,” he said pointing to a young woman in a servant uniform.
“She certainly isn’t a servant, she stands too tall and hasn’t got a clue what she is supposed to do. If she truly isn’t your daughter then I should have her removed since she is of no use as a servant.”
When John saw that the widow wasn’t going to admit it he continued.
“She has the same light brown hair as you and, unlike anyone else iv seen in this castle she has soft brown eyes. You are the only person in this room with those eyes.”
Walking over to the young woman John grabbed her hand, holding it up he said, “These are the hands of a woman who has never had to spend the entire day scrubbing pots and cleaning cloths,” John ignored the young woman’s pleas and promises that she was only a servant, he kept his eyes locked with the widow.
“James,” said John raising his voice.
One of the servants quietly walked over to a rope and pulled on it three times. It obviously part of a system to call servants, John would have to remember to learn the code of pulls.
James arrived within less then a minute, there must be a servant’s passage in the walls, James didn’t look like he had just climbed three flights of stairs.
“Yes my Lord?” he said bowing,
“Take the Dukes daughter and get her out of those servants’ cloths and into something of her own. I’m sure you have her belongings hidden somewhere nearby.”
As James shuffled her out of the room John said.
“We will have a word about you trying to hide her later, but let me assure you again that my intention is not to harm anyone,” James gave a stiff node in reply before disappearing into the next room.
“The rest of you out for now, I wish to speak with the Dukes widow alone,”
The Servants rushed out closing the door as they left.
They both stood in silence for several minutes until John said “I am, sorry for killing your husband but he would not give up him province without a fight,” actual sorrow could be heard in his voice.
“Do not try and make excesses for what you did, you killed a good man and nothing you say will lessen your punishment in death, when you are judged in the afterlife for your crimes none will stand in your defence and no power you have will save you from the punishment you disserve,” her voice of filled with anger and sounded as if it was about to break.
“What is your name?” asked John, all trace of sorrow gone, his voice was calm and clear.
Standing straighter she said, “I am Anna Elwood, daughter of Duke Zealer and widow of Duke Payan.”
“How old are you?” asked John suddenly curious, she didn’t look anywhere near as old as the Duke.
She had a thoughtful look on her face as she tried to figure out why John would ask such a question and in what way he could use it.
Finally she gave up, she couldn’t see anyway he could use her age to his advantage, he could ask any servant in the castle and they would gladly tell him.
“I am thirty two years old.”
“And your daughter?” asked John,
Anna’s face suddenly turned hard, “You leave her alone,” her voice had become just as hard as her face.
John wanted to say, “Or what,” but he rained in his urge to scare her, he had no reason to hurt anyone else, not unless they forced him to.
“Your daughter is perfectly safe, I am not stupid. If people started to hear that I was killing young woman they would be less likely to accept my control,”
John turned away from Anna and started towards the door, he didn’t want to stay in the same room as the Dukes widow for any longer then he had to. Her cold accusing looks felt like knifes to his heart, slowly cracking his composure. Opening the door he turned back and giving Anna one last warning.
“Do not try and arrange my death or fuel ideas of revolt against my rule, it will only lead to more death.”
Before she could reply he left.
John found Derrick sitting on the steps dozing.
“Take me down to the kitchens,” said John.
With a nod Derrick set of down the stairs, John a step behind him.
The kitchens were huge. They had obviously been built to feed thousands in the event of a siege. Two large fires dominated one side of the massive room. Both with large animals slowly rotating on large spits which were been turned by unfortunate kitchen boys, almost thirty people were rushing about trying to prepare the evening meals. One for the men at arms garrisoned in the castle and another for the people of rank, the smells were intoxicating, the rich aroma of the cooking meat, mixed with the warm smell of spices.
John almost couldn’t wait for the evening meal but he wasn’t stupid, he knew that some servant with misplaced loyalties to the dead Duke would probably try to slip something into his food.
“Who is the head cook?” asked John,
Derrick pointed to a large man standing over several other people who looked as if they wished they were anywhere but in the kitchens.
He wasn’t a big man but his face was flushed red with anger and John could see he had a temper to watch. His hair was thinning out and he had a round belly, but neither did anything to lessen his aura of command in the kitchens.
John quietly walked over to the group he was yelling at, the man abruptly stopped talking when all the kitchen staff he was reprimanding turned completely white, turning around he saw John.
Over his shoulder he yelled, “Back to work you lazy sods,” then up at John he said, “and what is it the new Lord wants down in my kitchens?”
“I would just like to make it clear that if, through some old loyalty to the former Duke, you or one of your staff attempts to slip something into my food, or in anyway try to poison me, I will make you sit and watch as I roast each and everyone of them on those spits,” Smiling coldly down at the cook John asked, “is that understood?”
Small beads of sweat had formed on the cooks brow, “Of course my Lord,” he said bowing, fear obvious in his voice, and why shouldn’t it be, John had only given them reason to fear him since he arrived here.
The conflict that had been going on inside Johns head for months and still he hadn’t been able to end it. The more people who knew what was happening the greater the danger that it would all fall apart.
The cook had rushed off while John had been thing, probably to try and stop what ever it was he had planed.
John let out a sigh, all he wanted to do was sit down and rest, but there was little chance of that happening anytime soon.
The now too familiar itch on his forearm drew his attention, he would need to be alone for a while.
“Come and get me an hour before the evening meal, I will be in my rooms,” said John, he would have to hurry. Karl would begin to get worried if John didn’t reply soon.
Standing outside his new rooms John paused before the large door, it was too plain. The doors that lead to the Lords apartments should have been grand, with delicate ivy trailing over the panels.
Stepping into the room John quickly checked that no one was hiding in any of the rooms before rolling up his sleave, on his forearm was four small black dots.
Placing his finger on the upper left one John immediately felt Karl’s presence in his mind.
“John I was beginning to get worried, I thought maybe the demons had got you,” said Karl, a almost hysteric worry in his voice.
“I told you before Karl, there are no demons here. Now, do you have the rings?” asked John
“That’s why I called you, I managed to get a few, but not as many as you asked for,” replied Karl
“What do you mean by a ‘few’, Karl? I seem to remember that we had a little disagreement about that once,” said John smiling at the old reference to there past.
“Now don’t be like that John, I really thought there were only thirty,” said Karl, sounding a little hurt,
Laughing John said, “There was closer to three hundred then thirty, now the rings Karl the rings, how many?”
“Well I’m not sure, a box. How about you count them,” said Karl, John let out a small groan. At times Karl could be paranoid enough that he wouldn’t even trust that John was John, and other times he would recklessly charge about.
With a small flash of light, barely noticeable, Karl appeared in the room. Looking around he said,
“I thought you were becoming a Duke or something, so why are we in a room with no furniture that looks more sooted to a servant,” commented Karl, his bright blue eyes darting around the room, constantly watching the shadows.
Karl had once being a tall hansom man but years of hardships and the newly developed twitches had removed all his youthful looks. His hair was already beginning to turn from bright blond to grey. At nineteen he looked closer to forty.
He held a small box close to his chest, as if he expected someone to try and steal it at any moment. John could sense the power in Karl, bunched up and ready, a strong shield surrounding his body.
“Its ok Karl, we are safe here,” said John trying to reassure him,
John felt Karl reach out with his magic, sensing the room around him.
“There are no wards, John, why are there no wards,” he said starting to panic, “You always said to set the wards, always,”
In as calming a voice as he could manage John said, “You know as well as I do that if I began setting wards the Wizards Guild would come to see what I’m up to,”
“But we are not safe, the demons, they could come,” said Karl almost shouting, his fear driving him senseless.
John could think of only one thing to do, “Karl stand down, the area is secure,” John said, his voice ringing with command.
Karl seemed to snap out of his nightmare, “Yes Sir, sorry,” he said, handing the box to John.
Inside was at least three or four hundred rings, all simple bands of metal but radiating power. Rings of loyalty, otherwise know as slave rings.
Once the ring is placed on the finger it cannot be removed without killing the wearer and with the power in the ring it can sense any harmful thoughts against your master, which causes the ring to inflict pain on the wearer.
John knew the history behind them, all magicians did, you could enslave an entire nation with them or a single man. The wearer has no choice but to obey you.
John nodded to Karl, “Well done, Karl.”
“How have you being sleeping?” asked John,
“A bit better then before, but, the constant alertness is hard to shake. You understand how it is better then the rest of us, John,” said Karl, his eyes becoming distant as he remembered, “The constant fear and danger, the screech of the demons, the smell just before they attack. I still can’t go near the markets, just the smell of sulphur.” He visibly shook.
“I understand,” said John, pushing the dark memories down as far as they would go.
He could not have picked a worse moment to interrupt John, the Dukes former advisor walked into the room without even so much as a nock on the door, not that nocking would have stopped what happened next.
Karl, who was always on the edge, was just that much closer after reliving some of the horrors of his past.
John reacted on instinct, throwing up a barrier around the advisor just in time to feel the full force of Karl’s fear.
The room vibrated with energy, sharp bursts of stray energy exploded in bright colours. The advisor was up against the wall, ashen faced. He could feel the power being released.
John could hear Karl muttering, directing his power into more powerful attacks,
“Karl stop,” roared John, Karl didn’t appear to hear him.
The attack intensified, John racked his brain over what to say, how to tell Karl this was not some demon, ideas of friendly fire or fellow magician came to mind, but John had never used those words while they had served in the demon wars.
“Karl, its Shadow Walker,” yelled John, the attack suddenly stopped.
Karl gave John an odd look before saying.
“That doesn’t make sense John,”
As if a cloud had passed the tension on Karl’s face eased, now his expression was one of regret,
“I’m sorry John, we were talking about the demons and then he came in.” muttered Karl
“Its ok Karl, it was those reactions that kept us alive, never regret them,” replied John
Turning to the ashen faced advisor John said, “You had better have a good reason for barging in here.”
The advisor only managed to mutter, “The power, all that power,” saying it over and over again.
“I think you fried his senses Karl,” said John, his annoyance echoed in his voice.
The advisor fixed John with a fearful look.
“How can it be that you have such power?” he asked.
John ignored the question. It would be many long months before he could tell anyone his reasons for what he had done, and what he was still to do.
“Karl you should leave,” said John, then his voice vibrant with sorrow said, “It was good to see you again Karl, it seems like an eternity since the five of us were together but we will be again soon. Tell the others I send my regards,”
John knew that Karl couldn’t see the sad smile hidden beneath the deep hood of his black robes but Karl must have known it was there.
“None of us feels the same without you leading us John, I will be sure to tell the others you asked after them,” with that he disappeared.
John felt a large hole inside himself begin to open again, the longer he was away from his sworn brothers the larger he felt the hole grow.
Looking down at his arm and the four black dots John touched each one, Karl, His constant state of alert and even his recent paranoia always made John feel safe, knowing that he had someone watching his back at all times.
As John ran his fingers lightly over the dots his eyes misted over.
Brian, the youngest, he had only joined John’s group a year before the end but he had been there for the demon war and had proven himself on several occasions. Even after a year in the demon realm Brian had managed to retain some of his youthful enthusiasm and joy in life.
Vasilia, she had being in the demon realm with John for just over two years, fighting by his side. She was the first to sware her life to John but the war had taken its tole on her. Her mind had become a fragile thing, broken with the grief of losing so many sworn brothers but still she fought on, behind her fragile mind lay a hard iron will that wouldn’t allow her to give in to her grief.
The last, Richard, who had been such a vain boy of sixteen years when he first entered the demon realm, He now had a deep scare, during the first week of the war Richard took a ball of dripping fire in the face, burning away most of his face and the dripping liquid fire had scorched most of his back and chest as well before John could extinguish it. Even after having healed all the wounds the real scare still remained. A large dark gash through his mind, after that day Richard kept his face hidden from all except John.
Of the twenty dots that had once covered his forearm only those four remained, for that crime alone John would have his revenge on the Wizards Guild, but they were guilty of much more.
John was snapped out of his reminiscing when the advisor asked, “Why did he stop when you said I was Shadow Walker?”
“It confused him, he knew that you couldn’t be Shadow Walker, so he stopped to find out what I meant and that pause was enough to snap him out of his fear,” said John.
“But why would it confuse him, how was he to know I wasn’t Shadow Walker?” asked the advisor, he quickly added, “Not that I think I’m The Shadow Walker, but what made you so certain he would?”
John let out a small laugh, “Because, I am the Shadow Walker, he was with me when I earned that name,”
The advisor looked at John with a blank expression for several seconds before shock replaced it.
“But that would mean you are a member of the Wizards guild,” he said, then continuing, “I am sorry, I would never have fought you had I know you were a guild magician,”
John gave a ruff laugh, “I am no longer a member of the guild,”
“I thought once you became a member there was no way to leave, why would you want to?” he asked.
John showed the advisor the top of his wrist, where a large twisted scare stretched across his skin.
“You are right, most would never be able to leave the guild but for my services in the demon war I was granted permission to remove the mark of the guild and my reasons for leaving are my own,” said John.
“Of course my Lord,” as an after thought he said, “I had never realised that the guild magicians were so powerful, I had once thought I could pass the tests of entry but I now see that it was only a youthful dream.”
“They are not as powerful as either me or my friend, you could probably have passed there test,”
“Oh,” He said, a thoughtful look spread over his face.
You have a mixture of interesting names and boring English names. "John" and "James" are boring, overused names. Replace them with fantastical names to fit in with the other nice names you have used.
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