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The Queen's Family - next fragment of diary



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Thu Jan 04, 2007 7:01 pm
Esmé says...



8th of Airflamed
23rd year of the Phoenix
Diaries recovered from Naesaen Fires

I think that now it would be best if I described my childhood.

Before Aereinod’s death and facing Athani’s prophesizing visit, my so called ‘court’ and I stayed at Forlin Palace, one of the many estates that Lyssene and I inherited from my parents. Now I cannot say whether it was my sister’s or mine, but the fact remained that my earliest memories began at Forlin. –Well, in it’s colorful nursery at least.

Yes, those where happy days, before the era of Larrisaeth’s tyranny. Pampered and cuddled to sleep by the nicest nanny in the world, as I thought of old Ethyl, I must say, it was quite a horrible chapter in my life when at the age of six I was plunged into the deep waters of the presence and teachings of Larrisaeth and moved to my own chambers. As to the rooms, with Ethyl in them, with her giving me a good-by kiss, I even though them beautiful, though the moment my former nanny left me alone, they became dark and gloomy, from spacious to enormous and horridly empty. I remember I had this large wardrobe in one corner, a present from Lyssene. Though I would admit it to no one, for some time I though that a monster lived in it, ( a consequence of Larrisaeth’s stories of someone coming and kidnapping me if I would not behave) and so I detested staying in my own rooms by myself. Still, when I finally understood and took in that there in fact is no and never was no monster, I was too far in my childish hatred towards the chambers to back out. So, when we later moved to somewhere else, with pleasure I chose a much smaller set of rooms with large windows facing west. –But of that later.

Another part of Forlin to which felt negative feeling was the study in which Larrisaeth conducted lessons in. As much as I loved the vast library with its always friendly librarians and cozy armchairs and crackling merrily fires, I loathed the small, hot, windowless room in which I learned among others geography and mathematics, though I feel that the term of ‘conducting lessons’ is a bad one. Larrisaeth would just give me assignments that had to be done for the next day and leave. I quickly realized that if I behaved really quietly, my governess would soon loose interest in me and retreat back to her rooms, where she was mostly to be found. At this point I, the mischievous child that I was, would sneak down to the kitchens, were I would be welcomed warmly by the staff that worked there. Ah, I remember how I first ended up there.
Seeking some quiet enclosure (well, I was running away from Larrisaeth because I annoyed her somehow, probably by not doing my lessons), when I got lost. By hook or by crook entering the oldest and unused parts of Forlin, I soiled my dress dearly, so that from gorgeous silks it turned into tattered and battered rags, and by the time I reached the kitchens, (I really have no idea how, probably by some old and unused staircase and by circulating the whole Grand Hall), I could pass on as any as any servant’s child that helped in the kitchens. –And so when I arrived through some stone flight of stairs to my will-be-bliss, I was dreadfully scolded for not doing anything by some plump, grandmotherly-looking cook and ushered to work in the form of washing dishes in icy cold water (to this day I do not know how anything can be washed in the murky, icky water that I was told to use). After ten minutes and one wooden bowl washed, the same cook came up to me with furrowed brows and asked me what was my name, because she had never seen me her before. However mischevious, I was always truthful, so I answered her with the whole extent of my name, with all of my titles and the titles of my parents and sister and the sister’s husband. Oh, all right, I did that a bit out of annoyance that she sent me to work. No one had ever done that before, not even Larrisaeth. At the thought of my governess I felt as if someone had dumped a bucket of icy water on me (that was done to another girl who was washing dishes next to me and was in earshot). I was terrified that they would tell on me to Larrisaeth, whereas they where horrified that I would do the same. What a comic situation!

Here my diplomatic talents saved the day: The cook, Amirra and the girl, after coming back to herself, pledged that they would never say a word about my escapades ( I from my side did the same to this point) if I were allowed to come here every day. As it was hard for such a thing to remain a secret for long, soon everyone in the palace but Larrisaeth knew where I went after hastily done lessons. –No one felt toward my governess warmer feeling, and as everyone liked me, no one ever told her. Of course, a day came when some reward-wanting swine blurted it all out, but about that I will tell on a different occasion. We soon ( the kitchen staff and I, that is) all got accustomed to each other, and my ‘bosses’ where soon giving out orders to me, which I, making a show of humorous grumbling, eventually obeyed.

The kitchen staff turned out to be an astonishing mixture of races, so unlike the upper servants made up mostly of humans and elves. There where stout and small in height but big at heart dwarves, a sociable half giant or two, a few silent but equally friendly cast outs of the Water People in two-legger form, and, of course, human and elves. There was also a two-hundred year old vampire, Kelsey, who solemnly swore that he drank no more blood. What was understandable, for the first week Kelsey would have coughing fits every time he encountered doorways and people laden with garlic, which would be about at more or less every step. As the week past and the vamp was still there and there was a big lack of vampire victims in the Palace background, and as Kelsey was the nicest person, we all took to him immediately (of course after the week), and we stopped waking up by grabbing oneself by the neck and checking with the mirror if one still had the right color. In fact, I think that I was the first who shook hands with him, and as everyone followed me, the described above situation took place. I think that Kelsey never forgot that and became my very close friend, one of the few people that stood at my side when things went wrong. After his death I ordered that he be written down in the Book of Aevlythian Heroes, and though I found numerous protests from the side of my nobles, I persisted and his name and history of achievements was written down. –But that is for another story. That was at least that one thing I could do for him.

Kelsey’s role in the Kitchen’s was, by and large, indescribable... needed. He had no set task, and yet he was always busy, set off to look for some very rare plant or told to supervise the making of medicines and remedies at Forlin. Kelsey, to entertain us, would sometimes take the from of a bat or a mist. Especially as the last, he would start to tell stories. The effect of a voice coming out of heavy white vapors in a closed chamber was brilliant. The vampire would tell us myths of gods, of journeys of known heroes and of long forgotten times. Though I barely recall what they where indeed about, remember the atmosphere of mystery and secrecy when he told them. Kelsey had also one big advantage: Larrisaeth was positively terrified of him. She would turn paper white as I she had already been bitten by him if she was forced to talk to him, rush out of the room if he entered it and generally ran away at his sight. This was a source of laughter, and we all soon started Siena, which means nothing more than mad woman.

Back to Forlin Palace and my childhood, an event occurred that dearly iced the relations of Kelsey at the Palace staff, and though after everything was over they warmed once again, some fools continued to make ward off signs whenever they saw him. Also, a faint smell, but nevertheless, of garlic. You must imagine my astonishment when one day, out of the blue, some maid working in the East Wing found a chalk white corpse with small wounds on the neck which marked that it was vampire doing. As rumors travel unexplainably fast, soon the whole Palace knew an of course modified version of it how the maid actually saw Kelsey on the site. In vain the Kitchens tried to clarify everything saying that Melly, because that was how the maid was called, did not and could not in fact see Kelsey because for a hundred of years he hadn’t drank a drop of blood. Melly, the stupid girl, would nod at everything that was said to her, so she was not much help. What happened is that a friend of Kelsey’s, another vampire called Byrrd, decided to settle down in the surroundings of Forlin. The friend was not at all willing to sacrifice a good meal, as he called it, and was eventually somehow made by Kelsey to move away. How, I do not know, and at that time I felt that I was not the person to ask.

As to education, it was in the Kitchens that I learned. Learned about how ordinary people lived, learned about their daily problems and overall expectations. It was also there that I learned foreign languages, a point that Larrisaeth refused to teach me. I in response taught the servants how to dance (how I loved to dance!) and read and write to those, who could not. Kelsey also taught me old runes, made sure I recognized reedy from poison and trained me in magic even though I hadn’t a drop of it. Of course, I also learned to cook and prepare mouthwatering meals. I was absolutely thrilled when the ever displeased and unsatisfied Larrisaeth commented positively on some dish which later turned out was one that I had made. Of course, my governess was never to discover that, but he fact remained that for the first time the ever cantankerous and difficult woman said that my work was more than barely passable.

The moment of goodbyes was a weepy and tearful one. When Larrisaeth found out where for the last three years (I stumbled upon the kitchens when I was seven) I had been spending my afternoons and evening, she was utterly speechless. As this was the first time that my strict governess had nothing to say, I burst out laughing which ended in me being sent to my hated chambers (Larrisaeth knew very well of my aversion). The only reason why everyone in the Kitchens kept their posts was Kelsey, who the next day came up in public to the Siena and said that if she should fire anyone, he would personally make sure that she would be bitten very, very painfully. Apparently he forgot that when biting, vampires hypnotize their victim, who in consequence do not feel anything and do not even know that they are being bitten. The Kitchens breathed a sigh of relief, and Kelsey was once again in good graces by all.

Of course Larrisaeth cabled on me to Lyssene, who made me a scene about meddling with people of lower social status and about by reputation, with “Never get familiar with subordinates” as it’s title. But I really do not think that was the day in which she found out about my escapades. Everyone except my governess knew about them. I knew perfectly well that I was spied upon by my sister and every noble who could afford it just because of my Royal Blood. –But I grew up with that notion, and it really did not bother me. After years of being tagged by the same persons, I made friends with them and sometimes even made them promise to omit to say things which I didn’t want to reach the ears of for example Lyssene.

As to the Kitchens, I would still sneak at down to them, and of that Larrisaeth knew perfectly well, but could do nothing but give me twice the lessons that she normally would. Her fear of Kelsey was stronger than the urge to reprimand me.

Of course, my life at Forlin was not only made up of the Kitchens and Larrisaeth’s tyranny. Lyssene visited me regularly, that is twice a month, but each time her visits where shorter and shorter. I loved these calls, which would take place in the library, made up of only my sister and me. We would talk about what I had learned or play a game…
I also took dancing lessons. Madame du Arlon, I think she was called. Though strict, she was the most wonderful teacher. It was she who poured the love of dance down to me, and for that I was even willing to forgive her that she was another one of Lyssene’s spies.

Etiquette, which was so despised by many but followed by everyone, I found fascinating. For me in my later life, it was a weapon that could do more than the sharpest sword. The art of refusing favors in such a manner that the speaker in the end though that she or he got what she or he wanted was beyond price and the idea of ‘never be ashamed to ask advice’ literally saved my life. Spencer, my etiquettes master, was a really nice man, though a bit high-tempered. It was he who made me understand that I must not believe that everyone will do what I which just because I will smile prettily, a way which always worked for me at that time. Though I must admit, when he started saying thing such as you-must-favor-no-one, my mind would fly off at a tangent.

My life was pretty balanced. Everything that concerned me was planned a few days beforehand and thought of very carefully. My birthdays where each year the same, that is presents from the King and a couple of nobles, most of whom I had never met, a gift from Lyssene and less lessons from Larrisaeth. The Kitchens though would throw me a so called surprise party, and give me gifts o their own. It was those that I cherished most. They were mostly hand made, and even if bought, bought with heart not just bought to be bought. I remember that on my tenth birthday I received two rings: one from my sister, the other from Kelsey. The one from my sister was a ruby identical to hers, which, as I later found out, always told the whereabouts of its twin. The lapis-lazuli from Kelsey cut off the flow of magic, making it impossible for mages to find me. It meant nothing more than that Lyssene’s ruby next to my new present became an ordinary stone.

As you see, here where no surprises, no bolts form the blue.
-Until Athani’s visit, of course.
  





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Thu Jan 04, 2007 7:25 pm
Swires says...



Ok. First of all I commend you for your dedication to this story. You are not like many writers which begin a piece then never return to work.

Secondly, and most importantly some of the prose seems to run on and is a little too poetic for my liking. The thing is I'm not sure whether I love the style or hate it. On one hand its excuseable to write in this style because it is a diary entry. On the other it may be unclear. I have no corrections as such but in future pieces or on revision you may want to split some sentences up. Theres nothing wrong with the style as it is but its something worth looking at later.

I want more story, not diary. Give me some nice plot and not an echo of the past. Your diary entries should uncover some plot twists and be used sparingly. At the moment there seems to be an over use of diary extracts (unless you plan to scatter them through the story).

Continue with this. I want to see the story grow.

Sorry for the vague advice.
Previously known as "Phorcys"
Witherwings Harry Potter RPG
  





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Sat Jan 06, 2007 5:02 pm
Esmé says...



Okay, the thing is that through Lillith's diaries I want to show the reader how she became queen. That will be equivelant to the non-diary part of my story, where she loosed her crown.

Anyways, thank for taking your time and reading what I wrote.

-elein
  








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