Young Writers Society

In 1723, Life was very different in alot of ways. But almost everyone held the same values of love and family that we do today. When Madeleine Gray, a seventeen-year old English teenager, moves from her comfortable York home to Kingston, Jamacia, because of a post her father accepted, her life is changed forever.

No longer the same sheltered girl she was in youth, when she meets a young silversmith, her desire for him will lead to her to make a few stupid desicisons. These will eventually lead her down a path of evil and misfortune, one that the whole British Empire is against . . .

Hi Thorn,

I'm going on a week-long trip this week, so I'll take this with me to work on. ^_^

Looking forward to seeing how it all turns out!

-Hawks-

Chapter 7:
So he was willing to abandon his home and possessions to elope with her but just left her on board a ship being raided by pirates with no second thought? Also, it doesn’t really seem like the assumption the soldiers jumped to would be that Murtagh killed Madeleine.

[quote]I am trying to remember how it happened, even though it was only yesterday. Why I was clad in these uniforms and sent on this scary mission rather than thrown in a cell and been sentenced to hang?[/quote]
*bad adjective. Sounds extremely childish

[quote]Today, the weather was murky, wet and stormy. I wonder if it will be like this for several days to come, seeing on the current situation. In the past few weeks, Father was not feeling as good as usually did. I recommend he should go see a doctor, and today he was diagnosed with tuberculosis! I do not know what I am going to! I do not want to lose my father in the same way I lost my dear mother, but alas, the doctors have told me he probably will die. [/quote]
This “sorrow” seems really cheesy, especially in your word choice.

The rest of the story:
Is pretty good, but I didn’t really get around to editing it yet…