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Young Writers Society


The Weight of Empty



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62 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 8205
Reviews: 62
Sat Jul 04, 2009 7:01 pm
Mandorelute says...



This is not written in my normal style, but is a collaborative effort of a friend and myself. Inspired by our own experience in the darkness*, with the hope of spreading light through metaphor and hope.

*Dedicated to all who are suffering from addictions, disorders, abuse, and unhealthy relationships, thinking patterns, habits.
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The Weight of Empty.doc
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Last edited by Mandorelute on Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:48 am, edited 2 times in total.
Where there is No Love, there is No Question.

A dream shared becomes reality, a dream alone is a nightmare.

"She tastes lyke raiyn
and sumtimes kiwi-fruit;
and wunce...
she tasted lyke a pen-ny." <3
  





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62 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 8205
Reviews: 62
Wed Jul 15, 2009 4:26 pm
Mandorelute says...



Thank you for taking the time to critique.
Last edited by Mandorelute on Mon Jul 27, 2009 12:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
Where there is No Love, there is No Question.

A dream shared becomes reality, a dream alone is a nightmare.

"She tastes lyke raiyn
and sumtimes kiwi-fruit;
and wunce...
she tasted lyke a pen-ny." <3
  





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95 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 2401
Reviews: 95
Thu Jul 23, 2009 7:42 pm
ZaddieCaso says...



ok!! WOW. Too much text for one post. Please can you attach this as a file as I really can't edit it like this. I would like to give you a critique though, pm me when you change this format

Izzy
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

Jean-Paul Sartre
  





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253 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 890
Reviews: 253
Sun Jul 26, 2009 4:00 am
CK Lynn says...



I read a little and it seems really good. Please make this an attachment so it's easier to critique!
"Just saying none of us want to conquer the world won't stop some other idiot from trying."
~Liberty and Justice, by Paul Dini

www.batmanworldblog.blogspot.com
  





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117 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 1040
Reviews: 117
Mon Jan 04, 2010 8:23 am
napalmerski says...



deleted
Last edited by napalmerski on Mon Nov 08, 2010 1:26 am, edited 2 times in total.
she got a dazed impression of a whirling chaos in which steel flashed and hacked, arms tossed, snarling faces appeared and vanished, and straining bodies collided, rebounded, locked and mingled in a devil's dance of madness.
Robert Howard
  





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370 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 20503
Reviews: 370
Fri Jan 08, 2010 8:25 am
empressoftheuniverse says...



*will review this piece on the weekend.*
Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart.
*Le Bible
Royal Reviews Here!
  





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151 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 8414
Reviews: 151
Sat Jan 09, 2010 9:40 pm
Forestqueen808 says...



I'll try and review this, but you know...Semester Finals are coming up, so sorry if I don't get to it!
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you,
and hold for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole... as you flew right through me.


~Sorrow by Flyleaf
  








According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.
— The Bee Movie