A vague topic description, but it will make sense as you read the chapter anyway. Picks up from where the first two chapters leave off. Michael Bane is going to what he considers to be his 'home':
There were a few bits that felt too wordy, and I still feel that you need to settle on how your individual characters speak. Some of the time one of them with say "ya" and then other times they say "you."
There were also a few clumsy wordings but I've altered them in the attachment.
Really, it's a great piece, and I'm hooked.
It just needs a bit of tightening up in places.
Krupp wrote:A vague topic description, but it will make sense as you read the chapter anyway. Picks up from where the first two chapters leave off. Michael Bane is going to what he considers to be his 'home':
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