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Young Writers Society


Children of Dread - Blood Oath



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44 Reviews



Gender: Male
Points: 897
Reviews: 44
Tue Jan 26, 2016 3:11 am
EmmVeePi says...



Book one of my fantasy/mythological epic. I am still open to possibly making it part one of a single book but for the time being it is a stand alone book. It stands at 40,500 words right now. I will go ahead and rate this 16+ for some violence and suggestion of sexuality(nothing explicit).

The story starts out following two princes who get swept out to sea during a storm and meet two strangers on an island. Later they return to their kingdom and one is made king. After that a mysterious wander arrives and things will never be the same in the kingdom.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1e-fYfBSHP_YbgAoUvjcdEQ7XThLIAfVXDEb9Ll4wM9E/edit?usp=sharing

Looking for "big picture" editing. I am not that concerned with specific grammar and punctuation right now(however if there is a rule I am repeatedly breaking or a major weakness on the technical side feel free to inform me). Story arc, character development, pacing, concept, these are the things I am interested in getting feedback on.
  








Did you ever hear the Tragedy of Darth Plagueis the wise? I thought not. It's not a story the Jedi would tell you. It's a Sith legend. Darth Plagueis was a Dark Lord of the Sith, so powerful and so wise he could use the Force to influence the midichlorians to create life... He had such a knowledge of the dark side that he could even keep the ones he cared about from dying. The dark side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. He became so powerful... the only thing he was afraid of was losing his power, which eventually, of course, he did. Unfortunately, he taught his apprentice everything he knew, then his apprentice killed him in his sleep. It's ironic he could save others from death, but not himself.
— RazorSharpPencil