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What do you think of this plot idea?

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Thu Oct 20, 2011 8:26 pm
Blues says...

Hi everyone!

I swear, this idea literally POPPED into my head. I was like 'Whoa!" when it came XD Anyway, this will have loads of holes and parts might not make sense but do tell me what you think. I was thinking of doing it for NaNo but I think I should finish rewriting my old one.

What do you think? (And I've given them names from my novel - they are completely random and nothing like it)

Spoiler! :
Two people, Liam and James are 15 and 16 respectively. The two of them absolutely detest each other and would very much like to see the other dead - to the point where they would kill each other if it was legal and they could sneak in knives to school - although the metal detectors would catch them.

Suddenly, Andrew disappears. Liam, James and a few other people are the only people who knew about his whereabouts in the final hours before his disappearance. James is extremely worried about his best friend, particularly when he hears strange rumours. Soon, Liam's sister disappears. The two make a deal with each other - if one helps find the other's "person", it'll happen vice versa....(so if James helps Liam find his sister, Liam'll help James find Andrew).

Meanwhile, strange things are going on through out the whole of London. A sudden spate of terrorist attacks shake the city. These terrorists have kidnapped Andrew and Liam's sister and are threatening to commit more kidnaps, attacks etc if their demands aren't met (I don't know what they want yet). They develop the Domino effect - nothing to do with the Cold War and communism, unlike your History teacher might say - if you explode one car, that car will make the ones next to it explode... etc etc. Traffic Jams and whole streets are destroyed.

As more teenagers are kidnapped (deliberately teenagers and children), Liam and James are closer to meeting some of the terrorists demands when Andrew manages to call James (don't ask how this works) and tells him the approximate area of his location. Liam, sadly for James, finds out and accompanies James to try and free the hostages because the 'kidnappers' aren't there - don't ask either. Now, remember how James wanted Liam dead? He's got his chance now...

This needs A LOT of work, I understand. It'll be a while before I make it into something, but anyway, what did you think? Any possible improvements? I'll change all the names anyway. Oh and if you're interested, do tell me!

Thanks all!

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Fri Oct 21, 2011 8:54 pm
kjr5horses says...

Go for it! You are the writer and you are excited about this so go for it!

Who cares what we think about the idea?

If you love your characters and the idea then go for it! Just start writing and let the story lead you through it! And HAVE FUN! It does not matter what we think about it and if we will or will not like it.

Just write it, post it if you want, and see what happens :)

Keep Writing,
"Me I'm dishonest but a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly its the honest ones you have to watch out for because you can never tell when they are going to do something incredibly...stupid." ~Capt. Jack Sparrow

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Fri Oct 21, 2011 10:31 pm
Rosendorn says...


I do think you need a lot of work, here. While it is a cool idea, a good story usually has a bit more than that. :P Especially if you're doing NaNo. This is rather flat, plot-wise, at present.

Some questions to get you started:

1- Why teenagers and children? Trying to get people in a panic? Make the authorities a bit slower (as bad as it sounds, my observation of the world is that children/teenagers are the slowest to be found)?

2- Why do they beat the authorities to the kidnappers/why doesn't Andrew call the authorities instead of his friend?

3- How will killing the other work? I can't really see how he has his chance.

4- Why don't the two grow to understand each other during the course of working together? I'd think that eventually, working together would cause people to get a bit more understanding. I'd really focus on this conflict, because I love character relations, and that is a neverending well.

5- Why do they not tell anybody else about this?

6- How does this affect their daily lives?

Those are just questions that come up reading right off the bat. Point 4 and 6 are critical for realism, and help that whole "NaNo means exploiting as much plot as possible". Point 3 could also be a major sticking point, because it's the culmination of everything, especially the working relationship between these two guys.

For the chance, I'd make it a large point of conflict. Going back and forth, maybe being too late to stop the guys because of it— actually being too late and having to clean up in a hurry. The list goes on.

You have a ton of potential for conflict in here, and I'd love to see you exploit it. You'd really have to get into some psychology for this, but I think it would be well worth it to get the story as good as it can be. It's also fascinating research.
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Mon Oct 24, 2011 3:12 pm
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youngwolf1105 says...

SOunds super cool! I t sounds like one of those James Patterson books, but one of your own as well! Here's a few ideas!
-Istead of the terroists being gone all together, a few could stiv=ck around to try to catch Liam and James and one of them have a choice to kill the other? That is all!
We were made to corageous,
We're taking back the fight.
We were made to be corageous,
And it starts with us tonight.

And the only way we'll stand,
Is on our knees with lifted hands.
Make us corageous,
Lord make us corageous. - Casting Crowns

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Mon Oct 24, 2011 11:17 pm
Payne says...

Hmm...I like it. Rosey had some very good points.

Just from a reader's standpoint, I think you'd have to be really careful about how you crafted the 'deal' between the two boys. If they really do feel murderous toward each other, it seems like it would take some desperation to make them go to each other instead of the people they actually care about. Or maybe they try getting help from others, but everyone shoots them down? (Just a suggestion, of course)

Also, what makes Liam and James so determined to kill each other? At such young ages as 15 and 16, you need a pretty severe motive to actually go through with the murder of another human being. Psychology plays a big part in it, too; I would suggest outlining any past traumas or influences that could make them inclined to kill.

Like KJR said: Go for it, dude! You've got the potential for a very exciting story here, and I wish you the best of luck with it!
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Is it weird in here, or is it just me? --Steven Wright

We think in generalities, but we live in details.
— Alfred North Whitehead