Young Writers Society

I have a story idea, but I wanted to test the waters first.

The title is Firebrats.

A firebrat is an insect much like a silverfish. They eek out a living on crumbs, warmth, and even the binding of books. Often found near hearths, or in bakeries.

The firebrats in my story are not insects, but children orphaned in the wake of a war. All of them, one by one have found themselves on the steps of the Apple Oak Bakery, and our protagonist is no different.

Melany is no orphan but she might as well be. Abandoned by her father, and rejected by her mother for being "too much like him", she runsaway from home and vows never to have anything to do with people again.

"Love isn't real." She tells herself, and decides it is better to live alone in the mountains than to risk allowing another person in her life.

The only problem is, mountains are tricky things.

A journey she expected to only take a week, turns into a month and before she knows it winter catches her.

Driven by a blizzard into the city she is forced to take refuge in the bakery.

And there our story takes place.

The setting is Arthe, or as it is known in the old tales, New Earth.
The time period is pre- industrial revolution.
The characters come in many shapes and forms: humans, luggers, dragons, and fexes just to name a few.

I plan to continue the series, each book named after a particular insect.

Silverfish
Dragonfly
Bookwyrm
Swallowtail

And so on.

So, what do you think?

This sounds fairly interesting, and I like the way you have your orphan firebrats congregate around this bakery like insect firebrats, but there's not much in the way of a plot described here? You've got the exposition with Melady (Melody? or a separate name altogether?) and how she arrived at the bakery, but you don't explain what the novel itself would cover.

I like the time era and all the fantasy business you've tossed in! A bit more worldbuilding and you could have something really great on your hands here! Dragons are always cool. Dragons in pre-industrial revolution era? Nice.

I've never heard of fexes, though, and Google isn't really giving me much information. Are they something you made up?

Oh, and the name "New Earth" gives me more sci-fi vibes than the fantasy I feel this is meant to channel? I'm guessing you may be taking inspiration from J.R.R. Tolkien's Middle-Earth with this name, but I could be wrong. New Earth just sounds like actual Earth was abandoned and people settled on a separate planet. If this is the case but the story is only ever set here and delves more into the fantasy genre than sci-fi, I feel like that exposition isn't as necessary? Like, no reason to go into people moving planets if your story sticks to the planet and doesn't allude to off-planet peeps.

I'm probably overthinking it, though, and sort of jumping to conclusions, haha.

In conclusion-- neat title and neat idea behind the title; needs more plot? And please describe fexes to me, I am very curious.

Fexes are my attempt to create something unique, the same goes for luggers.

Fexes are non human people, who share a strong resemblance to foxes. They are short and fluffy, cunning and reclusive. They form tight knit pairs, and prefer to dig out elaborate dens rather than build houses. Dens which they go to great lenghts to make as cozy as possible.

There is no better place to spend the night in than a fex`s den.

Fexes are also nifty little craftmen with a knack for creating dried goods which will last them through the winter. Tea, jerky, and dried fruit for example.

Because of this their homes were often the target of raids during the war.

This has left many fex without winter reserves and they are being forced to turn to the cities just to survive.


And that leads into the plot:

This is the first winter after a major war which has left the land scarred and its people wounded.

The outer story is about the Firebrats and how each of them survive in a city and among people who do not believe they can afford to be kind. The orphans are viewed with pity, but given little. They must earn their bread, so to speak. But, one can only live off day old bread and tossed crumbs for so long. Each of them has a plan for the future, a goal in mind which keeps them going.

The inner story focuses mainly on Melany, and her growth as a person. Transforming from someone who no longer believes in love(family love, parental love, friendship, and even romantic love), into someone who sees humanity as it is, and realizes that while true love is rare and hard to come by, the world needs people who wont give up on it.


You are right in saying that the name new earth sounds like sci-fi. I never could decide which genre I preferred and went with a sort of fusion.

The humans in this world all came from our world through a portal. Arthe is an alternate universe, a twisted version of earth, similar in some ways, vastly different in others.

The story of the portal and the humans pilgrimage is an old one told through mythology and largely passed on by word of mouth. Most of the non human peoples throughout the world have their own version of the event, but the dragon's version is thought to be the most trustworthy.

Mostly because there are dragons still alive who saw it first hand.

Oh, neat! Fexes sound pretty cool!

And yay, a plot. It feels a little wobbly and you might need to buff it up a bit, but I'm also really bad with plots so it could be enough as it is? I just feel like it's missing some padding to really make it a suitable novel plot. You can probably ask more experienced plotters on that front, though, as I struggle with plots myself.

Dragooons again. I'm not sure how prevalent the portal thing will be in your story, in which case, like I said before, it could probably be scrapped to avoid this jumble of genres, but it's really up to you. I just personally feel that a mainly fantasy setting with this sci-fi origin that isssn't really focused on anymore beyond that is weird. But hey, maybe you will bring the portal business back into play at some point!

But yeah-- best of luck with this project!!

Plot has always been my biggest hurdle. I'm fairly decent at character and setting, but plot elludes me. *sigh*

Do you think you could describe what you mean by padding? As in, what an example of that might be, just so I can get an idea of whats missing.

TBH, I've always felt wierd about the sci-fi origin myself, but it seems fairly ingrained. I can cut it, and it would make everything less tangled, but it was the first story. The idea that led to all the other ideas. In a way it was my "portal" to this world. But, I guess I could always fail to mention it and nothing would really change.

Hmmm, decisions decisions.



Anyway, thanks for your input! I really appreciate it!

Hey, just here to give my comment.

From what I read and correct me if I'm wrong, the story will be character-driven. It doesn't really focus much on plot but rather the impact of events to the protagonist, and how she grows through time. I don't think there's a villain in the story, and hardship pretty much comes from the severe environment where it is set.

I think perhaps it would be more interesting if the people aren't that united with the difficulties they share, in that half of them finds ways to make things better while others are skeptical of it and just relies on what's there to survive and survive only. Maybe that can be the main plot of your story which can also help Melany to grow as a person as she has to choose which side to be in?

Just a thought. The general premise sounds interesting, nonetheless!

Hey!

Thanks Lightsong,

I think you hit the nail on the head.

Oh, yeah, Lightsong got it pretty well. There's less of aaa linear plot? And more character-driven stuff. Which is fine! By padding I mostly meant, like, relevant plot business to keep it flowing and interesting enough to be novel-length? Like, you've got an idea here and where you want the story to go, but stretching it out as a novel could be difficult unless you tossed in some more plot points. Of course, you might stumble upon sub-plots and all as you go along. A lot of the time, writing throws curve balls at you and even when you thought you had the whole thing planned out, you end up with new additions. So don't worry about it too much right now and just see where you end up? haha

As for the portal thing-- I understand clinging to concepts based on them being important to you, or having been what started the story? Believe me, I'm scrubbing an old idea of all the unnecessary stuff and there's a few concepts that I've had trouble parting with, but-- as much as I hate this phrase-- something you've gotta murder your darlings.
That's not to say the portal is a bad idea! It just doesn't mesh well with the rest of the story? It doesn't feel entirely relevant. But, again, it's all up to you! You can leave it in and may later realize you don't need or want it, or you might find a way that it's actually a great addition.

I'm just tossing my opinions into the ring, but really, I'd focus on writing it as you've got it planned now and see where you end up.

I hope thaaat I made some sense here, haha. If you'd like any clarification, feel free to message me!

[I was intending to leave a link to an article here on plotting, but I unfortunately can't find one. I'll return if I do!]


EDIT: I'm unfortunately pressed for tiiime and can't find one that fits this situation exactly, but here's a list of some useful plotting articles!!

Writing Tutorials Article Index Hopefully you find them helpful!

Thanks Hattable.

Thats makes perfect sense.

Also, wow! There`s a lot of great stuff in that link. Thanks again!

Alrighty then,

I`m starting the first chapter today. Lets just see where this goes!