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Young Writers Society


Begining of a Novel



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Gender: Female
Points: 300
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Tue Apr 10, 2007 11:58 am
Tristessa says...



Bits in red are the bits I'm thinking of changing!

Rachel was definitely not the sort of woman one would expect to be married to Joseph Oswald. Traditionally, wives of violent, overbearing men are meek and
reserved. Rachel Oswald was different. There was always something in her soft brown eyes that suggested perception, which, though giving the startling impression that she could read a person's soul, was never in any way invasive. Her figure was so very thin and delicate that people often wondered at how she ever bore three children. She carried with her a light, breezy air and, when the two were younger, her husband had often likened her to a butterfly. In fact, somewhere in the recesses of his mind, he secretly still did. Rachel Oswald always seemed to radiate cleanliness and purity. She seemed to observe every action of every creature on the planet, before contemplating it and then quietly accepting it. Indeed, she accepted people to completely that only Joseph Oswald ever doubted her capacity to love him without a shred of bitterness.

There's more but I'd just like to see what you guys think!
- Tristessa x
:wink:
Trying hard to fit among you
Floating out to wonderland
Unprotected
God I'm pregnant
Damn the consequences
  





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Gender: Male
Points: 7250
Reviews: 57
Tue Apr 10, 2007 8:36 pm
Merlin34 says...



So far, a little dull (no offense), but it has the potential to be a great book! Great job!
http://maxhelmberger.com/
Advice on writing, funny articles, and more.
  








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