Young Writers Society

For this thread, mention any kind of published literature you think is absolutely horrible, and try to say why.

Well, I actually have one right now.

This is from the book Eldest by Christopher Paolini

"In that secret place, Eregon felt suddenly close to Arya, and all his passion for her sprang to the fore of his mind. He was so intoxicated with the strength and vitality coursing through his veins - as well as the untamed magic that filled the forest - he ignored caution and said, 'How tall the trees, how bright the stars... and how beautiful you are, O Arya Svit-kona.' Under normal circumstances, he would have considered his deed the height of folly, but in that fey, madcap night, it seemed perfectly sane."

AHHHH!!! If I ever write something like that, I want someone to promise me they will chop off my left hand before I publish any book.

It's just so... awkward... and cliche... it's just so stupid! And the dialogue is worse!!!!! ](*,) ](*,) ](*,)

Does anyone else see it?

*twitches* Oh my. That's like... my imitation of love scenes. AKA overlydramatic. Ew.

Its a pile of nice words to say that the kid had an erection. This is horrid. I know my stuff are kinda dumb but this is just...I dont like waaaay too dramatic. is Paolini a Drama Queen? Yes he is.

...I like it.

poor Emma...

This is why I am not a fan of Paolini, most people think that the reason I don't like his books is because he got published and I haven't even finished any novel I've ever started, that's only partially true. His style just puts me off...uggg...not that people can't like him, it's just so awful, and eye-gouging for me to read.

Arvandor wrote:Its a pile of nice words to say that the kid had an erection. This is horrid. I know my stuff are kinda dumb but this is just...I dont like waaaay too dramatic. is Paolini a Drama Queen? Yes he is.

::reads Arvy's reply::

::re-reads exerpt from Eldest::

::5 seconds later::

LMAO!! OH MY GOD!! I know what your saying!!

close to Arya?
passion.. sprang..ing?
intoxicated with strength and vitality coursing through his veins?
untamed magic?
ignored caution?

Actually, it seems more of a rape scene than Eregon's boner.

::stops laughing 10 minutes later::

Have to see about upping the age for this post.. lol

Well, the dude's like 19 and obsessed with dragons and whatnot, so no wonder it takes him seven sentences to say the kid got a boner. A perfect example of how NOT to live your life...nothing against him, o'course.

*stares*

oh dear god. this has scared me away from romamce for life. seriously. and arvy, you certianly have a way with words

*cracks up*

You two just made my night. Seriously.

And here I was gonna reread Eragon so I could finally read Eldest and understand what was going on... Maybe I don't WANT to know what's going on!

Although it would be quite entertaining...

Also there was this place called Gaysomething and on the beginning of Eragon hes says something like:
The big bulky arms were covering with his sweat and there was hair coming out of his....argh! I cant talk anymore! Basicly it says how "sexy" and "hairy" the blacksmith is.

Still, I saute the fact that his works became a world wide success. *waves a flag*

This is exactly why I don't pay too close attention to how well some books are written, or else I'd never enjoy anything, lol

Hey, hey, this was Arvy's idea not mine.. lol

I hadn't noticed it until Arvy said it.. I just thought it was bad writing.


Oh and there is another scene that just pissed me off it was so bad.. it put fantasy in a queer, all too real and nasty perspetive. Something was said about when Eregon was curious about the perfection of elves and he happened to see a male in the bathing pool or whatever.. and it said something along the lines of "The elf had no hair around his groin."

I'd find exactly what was said to show you all, but I really don't want to open that book again.

lol Mesh, Paolini was just asking for it.. graduating high school at 15 and publishing books out of his parents company a couple years later.. with no college experience? C'mon.



And if he can publish a book on teenage angst and erections, while retaining a fantasy element and a load of cliches... NOT TO MENTION how popular the damn book is.. we can certainly publish something better to shame this. So don't worry about it.

I use my copy of Eragon as a table leveler. It works almost better than the bible. Hmmm...I'm sure I've read something worse somewhere. If I find it I'll post it.

deadrose

If Paolini were here, I would obliverate his perverted stories. He has some horrible styles... but at least you're right. We'll publish something ten times better!