Young Writers Society

Three-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.

It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.

The seven-year-old had been staring at th e plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, Alex."

"Good morning," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.

"What is this?" Alex asked.

"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."

Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.

Little Alex's voice was trembling and barely audible when he asked, "Which service, the 9:45 or the 11:15?"

Jack goes fishing but catches nothing. The man beside him, on the other hand, seems to be really lucky. So Jack asks the man, "Hey, how do you catch so many fish?"

The man mumbles something incoherent. Jack asks him again. This time, the man spits twice into a cup and replies, "You gotta keep the worms warm."

I came across this exercise suggested for the over 30’s to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. The article suggested doing it three days a week.

1. Begin by standing on a comfortable, flat surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 2kg potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to hold for a full minute, then relax.

2. Each day, you’ll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 5kg potato bag. Then a 25kg potato bag and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 50kg potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute (I’m at this level).

3. Finally, when you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the bags.

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.’ I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, ‘NO, it’s not’ Four is larger than two.’ We haven’t used Sears repair since.

My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, ‘You gave me too much money.’ I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a $1 back.’ She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said ‘We’re sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.’ The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD’s in Petawawa, Ont.

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: ‘Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.’ …….From Kingston , Ont.

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal lettuce.’ He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce. ……From the City of Pembroke