Young Writers Society

Attention all Fantasy, Sci Fi and Horror Lovers.

I have just published my first book via Author USA at just 13(The Patokafus Trilogy -Book1 the Goldstone).

Details of my journey to becoming one of the youngest author in the UK can be found on my Web site www.the-patokafustrilogy.com ,where you can either live your comment on my Guest Book or drop me a message on my blog.

My book is available from majors retailers such as Amazon, Waterstones, Googlebooks and W H Smith UK or from direct supply from the Publishers-Authorhouse USA or UK.


Here is a sample of the prologue.

****PROLOGUE****

Long ago, the planet Zorania was at peace but peace does not always last.

There were four countries. Zoa, Avanar, Dask and Maia.

Darcinder the king of Dask was greedy. He wanted the whole of Zorania for himself, so he sent a massive army called The Dark Army to attack the other countries.

Meanwhile, Zoa was celebrating it’s royal wedding of Princess Lillyan and Lord Seb.
As the wedding commenced, petals fell from the beautiful blue sky.
As the wedding came to an end, Lord Seb looked at Princess Lillyan deeply in the eyes and smiled. The priest said.
“You may Kiss the bride”. They kissed.

A couple days later.

Knock!! Knock!!
Seb answered the door of his and Lillyan’s bedroom.
“Sir the King would like to see you” said the servant at the door.
The servant took him to the Kings castle.
Inside of the throne room, a massive map of Zorania filled the room like a holographic planetarium.
On the map was red dots and green dots.
“ Seb, Darcinder has taken Hyandai and it’s capital Avanar over, they are coming to us next and I shall not let my kingdom fall to these rascals” said the King as he walked in the room with a soldier.

“Seb you shall lead the archers and the defence with captain Brook.”
The soldier together with the King, introduced himself.
“I am Brook at your service Lord Seb” he said.
Brook had brown hair, a scruffy beard and was very muscular.

“I will lead the knights and the infantry, the others will follow” said the King.

“We are heading to the battlefield with no end tomorrow to fight.”

The next day the soldiers of Zoa were moving out. Seb was receiving a sword from the King which was
“Made from pure Dragon Blood forged by the light Patokafus’s. You shall wield this blade” said the King, giving him the golden sword which shimmered in the sun light.

In the background Lillyan watched Seb receive the blade, Seb saw her and went up to her and hugged her. “You may not come back Seb!” she cried.
Seb felt her tears drip on his back.
“I will, Lillyan. If anything shall happen to me, look after my brother Jaden, and remember I will always love you” he cried those words.

Two massive rockets came and the soldiers walked on to them.
Seb walked into one and waved to Lillyan.
The rocket then took off into the sky.

In another realm a black figure sat on a black throne.
His red eyes shined like rubies.
A man with raven black hair, wearing black armour with a long black cape then walked into the realm.
“ Master the Zoan armies have made camps all over the battlefield with no end” said the man.

“So King Razmond of Zoa wants a war? asked the figure.
“Send out our soldiers and leave no one alive” the figure ordered.

A massive war on the battle field with no end began.
Arrows covered the sky.
Gun shots echoed as soldiers pulled the triggers.
Blood filled the ground.
Men swore at each other and screamed as the planet rumbled.

“COMMANDER!!!” “COMMANDER!!!” screamed a soldier running to Seb’s command post.
“What is it?” asked Seb.
“The Dark Army are charging towards our camp”.
Seb then drew his blade jumped on to his horse and commanded his army to charge.
They soon charged through millions of Dark Soldiers killing thousands as they charged.

Seb’s gold sword shined as he slashed and stabbed each Dark Soldier that stood in his path.
Suddenly an archer from the Dark Army fired an arrow that darted through the crowded soldiers.
hitting Seb directly in the chest.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH!!!” Seb screamed as he fell off his horse.

Brook who was fighting on and saw him fall.
He rode towards him and tied him to the back of his horse and then rode back to camp.

“Where… Where…. Am I?” asked Seb, getting up.
A pain then struck his chest, he quickly touched his chest.
Brook appeared in front of him.
Seb put his hand over his chest.
“We are moving on” said Brook.

Outside, the Zoan army charged for the castle of the Dark Army. They made it to the inside of the castle.

Brook led Seb and the other units through the castle, killing any guards that stood in their way.
Soon they reached the throne room.

“Seb, stay outside and guard while I and the remaining units kill the general of Dask” commanded Brook, as he told the soldiers to move in.
“I cannot afford to risk your life”.

2hours later.

“Where is Brook?” Seb asked himself, looking at the large doors of the throne room.
He put his ear to the doors.
It was quiet, no sound, no movement, nothing came from the room.
Seb opened the door and walked in.
“Hello!!” he shouted.
“Anyone there!!”
“Where are.. ehhh…ehhh… uh… captain….. Wh….why?”.
Seb fell to the floor with a sword dogged into his chest.
Captain Brook had stabbed him.
“I’m sorry Seb” said Brook.

Suddenly a group of soldiers stormed into the room. After the soldiers,a man came out wearing, long black hair, gold armour and his eyes were ruby red, his hair was raven black.

The soldiers showed their respect by bowing to him.
“Master I have slayed the invaders” said Brook.
“Well done” said the man calmly.
He then raised his arm.
“Seize him!” he shouted as the soldiers grabbed Brook.

“Throw him to jail” the man added.
The soldiers then took him away.
“Why master, why you doing this? Damn you, damn you!!” shouted Brook.

Seb was still alive.
He got up.
The remaining soldiers in the room, looked at him.
“Kill him!!” ordered the man as he walked out the room.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHH!!!”

The room fell silent.


Conclusion to prologue.

The Kingdom of Zoa had fallen to Dask’s massive army.
Zoa’s flag was then changed to a Dask’s flag.
The King was killed.
Princess Lillyan disappeared.
The people were thrown out of their homes and put on to the streets.
Captain Brook was released from prison after a year and thrown into the slums of Zoa.
Darcinder King of Dask is now planning his next move.

To Be Continued in the book!

Thank You for reading and i do hope you all will enjoy the book and i am open for any questions you may want to ask. Please feel free and review my book at any of the book suppliers oniline.

Best regards

Ashley Domenic Augustine(Author, age 13).

Well, Ashley, published or not you still have to follow YWS rules. I've changed your title to be lower case.

Something is awfully, awfully wrong with this world. 'Nuff said.

Jiggity wrote:Something is awfully, awfully wrong with this world. 'Nuff said.

Hugh? That is interesting. Is it a book? A lot is said in the prolog or is that a small snips form the book or something? Anyways. Congrats. I'm trying for getting a story together to actually publish.

-Amber

Is this the published version? Because, not to be crushing, but there's rather a lot of mistakes in there. Did you have an editor?

Is this self-published?

Be nice, children.

-:pirate3:

I wonder if the black figure on the black throne with red eyes will turn out to be the bad guy? Or maybe the raven-haired guy with the black armor and black cape? *cries*

Sir Mantis wrote:I wonder if the black figure on the black throne with red eyes will turn out to be the bad guy? Or maybe the raven-haired guy with the black armor and black cape? *cries*

Haha, don't be surprised if they aren't! I remember for my first story, I had these evil black creatures with red eyes and, as the story evolved, they actually became the good guys. Fun stuff!

Good luck on selling your book! I see that you have a vanity publisher, so it might be a little tricky getting the word out, but I hope for the best. It must be exciting seeing your work finally in print.

It must be cool to be published, but yeah, I did notice a few little mistakes, I trust this isn't your finished copy. Doesn't the sample belong in one of the fiction sections? Look foward to reading your future works on YWS, do you write poetry?


-Jenni

jenni321 wrote:It must be cool to be published, but yeah, I did notice a few little mistakes, I trust this isn't your finished copy. Doesn't the sample belong in one of the fiction sections? Look forward to reading your future works on YWS, do you write poetry?


-Jenni

Yes there was a few mistakes because this was my first plan and prologue of my book. I have just submitted the finished copy. Yes I do write poetry but Rap/ Lyrical style poetry
Thank you for reading and hope you enjoy the book and be free to visit my website www.the-patokafustrilogy.com.

clograbby wrote::?

Is this self-published?

Yes! This is self published by Authorhouse.USA.

TL G-Wooster wrote:Is this the published version? Because, not to be crushing, but there's rather a lot of mistakes in there. Did you have an editor?

No this was not the published version. I have now put up the published version for everyone to view on here and I had no proof readers or editors because I was in a hurry to get it published.

For my next book I will have an editor.

ambercoultis wrote:

Jiggity wrote:Something is awfully, awfully wrong with this world. 'Nuff said.

Hugh? That is interesting. Is it a book? A lot is said in the prolog or is that a small snips form the book or something? Anyways. Congrats. I'm trying for getting a story together to actually publish.

-Amber

Hello Amber,

Yes this is a book and this is the prologue of my book The Patokafus Trilogy Book1 The Goldstone.

Sir Mantis wrote:I wonder if the black figure on the black throne with red eyes will turn out to be the bad guy? Or maybe the raven-haired guy with the black armor and black cape? *cries*

Sir Mantis you will be surprised when you read about a lot of the characters in my book.
Some turn out good, some are mysterious and some are pure evil and corrupted by it too

Mod edit: Combined & deleted multiple posts. Please use the Edit button when wanting to add more to a post.

Wow congratulations on publishing a book. You really gave me hope that maybe I could publish a book one day. The cover of your book is pretty cool and its great to see someone finally show the world that people around our age can actually publish something. How long did it take you to write this book? I'm just really curious because I think my story is going really slow. I don't want to go all question crazy so I'm going to say congrats again because the world really needs writers like us oh and keep writing.
-Angel

Sir Mantis wrote:I wonder if the black figure on the black throne with red eyes will turn out to be the bad guy? Or maybe the raven-haired guy with the black armor and black cape? *cries*

I often wonder, some where out there- there are always some illiterate punk whom would like to take you down. However, after reading your profile it would appear that, you seems lost in your fantasy jedi world and you don't seem to know a good book from a bad one considering it was publish by someone as young as 13. My book has also gain a 5 star award by waterstone's uk and i have sold more than 500 copies in only 1 week, more than you would, if you were able to write.

I accept critisism with open hands but not from you. I also accepts there are some minor gramma and spelling errors. But, it has not stopped my book from selling.According to a literacy Professor,he commented that, its not the way it was written but is the theme of the story what matters hence my success. so in future please spaced away to coruscant in a galaxay far,far away from my website

from Master Windu who's my uncle you foo!!!!!!!

Stop with the insults - from both sides - or I will lock this thread.

Angel of Death wrote:Wow congratulations on publishing a book. You really gave me hope that maybe I could publish a book one day. The cover of your book is pretty cool and its great to see someone finally show the world that people around our age can actually publish something. How long did it take you to write this book? I'm just really curious because I think my story is going really slow. I don't want to go all question crazy so I'm going to say congrats again because the world really needs writers like us oh and keep writing.
-Angel

Hi Raven/Angel,

It took me about four years to get the 1st and 2nd book done .
Thankyou for visiting my site also believe in yourself in writting your book because with alot of hope you could go very far .
Thanking you again for visiting my site and hope you enjoy my book!