Young Writers Society

Of course we'll dismiss you because of your age, old man

Obviously, looks are worth something in some situations, but at other times, they are irrelevant.

fishr wrote:Ah, I understand now why you refered to the Holocaust. And I have to admit, your logic does make alot of sense. The office example is quite good. Even someone as stubborn as I, can't deny that fact. In a a business type, I agree looks mean a lot. But on the street? I am not so sure it's an automatic response...I still believe its how someone is raised that draws them to turn a blind eye in some respect.

There is no right or wrong answer; we were just reflecting upon opinions; there is no need to admit to anything. I may have been hard to understand, so I had to go back over some of my points to make them a little more clear. So no misunderstandings were to come from my opinions; I need to be fairly careful now days. By the way, we were talking more of the condition of the individual then the actual looks. To some point, my example strays from the overall topic a little bit, my bad.

Sponson Light wrote:Yes it is survival of the fittest, you select the person who will have the best genes.

Walk into a store looking like a theif and ganster, Im sure looks wont matter at all.
Looks may not matter to YOU but it matters to EVERYONE else.

If you saw a person with a massacred face, skars, burns, scabs, and dead tissue for a face. Would you think twice about getting to know him/her?

You stated you did not wish to take part with a person who is homeless. Well this masscred faced person is quite wealthy after winning a lawsuit against the person who did this to him/her and he/she has a good personality.

*rubs head* That's what I'm trying to say... What are the best genes? Are you telling me I can switch my attire and hence forth change my genes to become better? And for whom do I change for to become the better? You see. It has nothing to do with genes anymore, besides subtle characteristics of looks and personalities. This is what I think refers to the subconscious 'selection' that plays very little in the choice of a mate. We are not so worried about survival anymore, so it is not essential for the filtering of 'bad' genes (I mean come on, Jessica Simpson having kids?!!!). Society is sheltering all who pass through its grasp, whether you have bad genes or not.

That is a generalization not worthy of the boards. You cannot say 'EVERYONE else' anything! Even though you may wish for the lot of people to back up your opinions, I don't see the involvement. And about your 'theif and ganster', there is a whole society that prefers these characteristics in a person. I don't know whether you are from the 'hood' but you really shouldn't make all these... remarks without thinking them through.

I would think once, for the impressions shown to me through sight. There might be a weirdness that may occur in both of us, him thinking if I am uncomfortable and me feeling uncomfortable without offending him/her. But like I said. In interactions like these, I usually don't look for 'soul-mates', only friendly relations. I used to take the public transportation to my internship and back. I saw/sit next to the whole lot of them. 'Them' meaning citizens having similar conditions like your example. But, she is homeless whether or not there is this lawsuit and she has a good personality. It's sad yes, but I'm not willing to search for a girlfriend or my best man in the homeless shelters. I'm not saying it isn't possible, but I'm rather saying I won't initially select an individual who is homeless for this life-changing situation on my part. I WILL occasionally help out the homeless and the less-advantageous, and minutely change the community in a better and more positive way.

We are still waiting for your emphasis on hormones and parts of the brain...

~Z

Really, as long as your well groomed, or make it show that you made an effort to groom yourself, I guess it's good enough. I don't really use the mirror to 'look' at myself. I just comb my hair and throw something on *shrugs*

Jesus, if I’d have known so many people would post on this thread, I would have checked it sooner!

First of all, I have to agree with all those who said that attractiveness and looks are two different things – attractiveness is an overall combination of looks and personality. Actually, no – to be attractive, you don’t even need looks, because sometimes attractiveness can be defined simply by a trait, such as charisma….or even just some kind of presence – I mean, we’ve all met people who have ‘It’, right? – That undefinable something that attracts (key word there) you to them.

But also, having said that, I also believe that looks do, to a certain extent, play a part in life. Take, for instance, my ex-boyfriend. Would I have gone out with him if he hadn't’t have been so unbelievably, heart-stoppingly beautiful? No. Because I wouldn’t have been attracted to such a nasty, personality-free doufus if he hadn’t have been good looking. Which leads on to my next point – attractiveness has, on a certain level, an awful lot to do with being unaware of the fact. People (like my ex) who know that they’re good looking (and this is aside from the fact that he needs to be put down) actually are less attractive than a ‘nerd’ who has a fantastic personality.

*sigh* I can tell I’m going to be contradicticting myself a lot here.

Because, again, I agree with Phoenix here – because, unless there is some kind of physical attribute that attracts you to someone, then there is no lust – furthermore, no relationship, as such. Because (although this isn’t all this thread is about, even though I’m banging on about it like Jim Carey on speed), if you’re attracted to someone’s personality, then fair enough – but where does the friendship end and the relationship begin? There’s a very fine line. There needs to be an equal amount of intellectual and physical attraction for a relationship to happen. Although, having said that, it’s worked remarkably well for the Beckhams.

Now, what about disability? An interesting topic. Not to blow my own trumpet here, but I know I’m not hideous. Not to say I’m stunning, but I feel good looking enough to be relatively comfortable in myself. And, as for most people, it is very difficult to know if, when you’re being hit on, it’s for purely shallow reasons. So it’s weird when you’re fairly good looking, but then have a small physical disability (for those of you who don’t know: I’m missing all but my thumb on my left hand) – how do people react then? It’s not about coping for yourself, fishr, but more about other people coming to terms with it.

I haven't got time to go into detail about what I think about this - but I will say this: looks aren't everything. This coming from a guy who knows - I'm about to dump my girlfriend because, stunning though she is (typical blonde trustafarian) - she can barely string two words together. And she's lacking.....you know. She's a fantastic example of 'fit but you know it'.

I'm trying to be less shallow. Dumping Barbie is a very good place to begin. I used to think that looks were all....but they're so not. Fairly important, yes - but not major.

And I agree with what Phoenix says, too - and quite frankly, it doesn't matter if it's second hand - it's damn good reasoning.

Jolly Oh zzap,
No, you dont change your attire and change your genes. Obviously.
People take a look at YOU, not your clothing.
Thats where the genes come from, and just because our need to survive has dropped considerably doesnt mean it doesnt exist.

Thats like saying why do ostrieges have wings? Because they grew out of them, but they still have them, its there but it doesnt do much.

Still, if you have a problem with my outcome of "looks arent everything, but they arent nothing", feel free to argue that.
Not that we can.

That is a generalization not worthy of the boards. You cannot say 'EVERYONE else' anything! Even though you may wish for the lot of people to back up your opinions, I don't see the involvement. And about your 'theif and ganster', there is a whole society that prefers these characteristics in a person. I don't know whether you are from the 'hood' but you really shouldn't make all these... remarks without thinking them through.

But its worthy enough to be discussed, as you just proved.
Whats the look of a ganster have to do with characteristics?
I said you dress up as one, not be one. Im not sure where your getting your information but its certainly not from me.
I... dont... think... that... these... elipses... are... very... ... .... remarkable...


If you still dont like my answer on the hormones part, here... it may not make sense to some of you because to some of you love isnt something you can dissect.
http://people.howstuffworks.com/love.htm
Genes affect how we look and how our body reacts to certain things.
A man with no immunity system would not have survived, but to today's medicine he can.

Actually...I think that you're a bit wrong SL.
Clothing does matter, to a certain extent - many people use clothing to express themselves - and a lot of people judge you more on what you wear as opposed to what you look like.

Thats on a different matter, I know clothing matters.

As long as you do. But you did say that people are looking at you, not your clothes. I was just pointing that out....and I know that's on a different matter, because I sarted this thread

When I first met Qi, I was in no way attracted to him. As we began to spend more time together, I became aware of the little things that moved me--his sense of humor, his personality, how comfortable I was being around him, his dedication to the art he had studied. The physical nature of my attraction to Qi developed much later--his eyes (oh GOD his eyes...), his broad shoulders, his strong arms, and let's face it, any man who has a second degree black belt is just sexy. When we decided to become a couple, we held off on the physicality to keep things moving slowly. The sexual attraction was there, but to ensure our stability as a couple, we resisted. The exploration developed over time. 9 months into our relationship, we chose to have sex (as in, intercourse). It changed very little about our relationship, except to add anothere facet through which we can enjoy each other.

So, in my experience, looks do not matter. Qi and I love each other, and are soon to celebrate our first year as a couple. That is far more important than his gut or my belly.

That's very sweet
Wise words, Gal. I think that that shows true feeling - liking someone first, and getting to know him, and THEN having the lust develop. And Happy 1 Year Anniversary
It comes back to Phoenix's points about Lust and Love - if you think about it, looks do matter in a way, because that's what (admitadly after a while lol) attracted you to him AS WELL AS his personality.
It's all down to personal opinion, really - and some people seem to forget that what may be attractive to them may not be attractive to others (looks wise). And that's where people go wrong when they're defining 'good looks' - you can be good looking, but you may only appeal to certain people (I spent 3 years of Upper School pining for a dude in my year who, and I kid you not, looked like a greek god...a straight greek god Other people thought he was hideous, and others thought he was too perfect to even consider.) if you're attractive, as such, you are more likely to be universally appealing, because charisma, an example I mentioned before, is a trait which attracts most people.

It seems to me that we're all beginning to agree in different ways. Basically, the answer is that sometimes looks matter a lot, and sometimes they don't matter one tiny bit. I think that looking your own personal best is important, but going through extreme measures to look better than you could naturally look--or, I should say, more stereotypically good-looking than you naturally look--is not a good idea at all.

Exercise, eat healthy, but don't starve yourself if you're not 90 pounds or less.

Stereotypical good looks are dependant entirely on culture. Our current obession with thinness and looking (but not necessarily being) fit disgusts me. I will probably never weigh less than 130 ever. But I'm okay with that granted that I'm healthy. I'm not built to be 90 pounds skinny. But you know what? I found love regardless. Qi? He's no adonis, but I worship him regardless. Looks don't matter, not in the way society says they do.