Young Writers Society

Hey guys. I'm just working on my story (YAY!), and at the moment I'm trying to introduce what I like to call a "hidden character" - basically a character who will show up later in the book but gets almost a cameo appearance at the moment. I don't want to draw too much attention to him, but I want the reader to be able to go back and realize, "Oh, hey. That's the guy from that one part later on."

How do I plan on doing this? Well... Instead of devoting several sentences to physical appearance (and by that I mean what the character's doing, not individual details), I'm just going to include him in a sort of scan of the scene. I'll pick him out of the crowd, but at the most he'll get two sentences. Then he'll fade into the reader's memory, waiting to reemerge later on...

*ahem* Anyway. Sound like a good plan to you guys? What are some ways you introduce characters who don't have a major part until later? Do you try to keep them inconspicuous, or does that just add to the "obvious" factor?

'Sounds perfectly admissable to me. In fact, I rather like the image you've given there already...of just picking this fellow out of the crowd and then going on. Let it be subtle. Even the slightest push narratively and the reader may get the 'oh-important-character-intro-what-the-heck reaction.

As for me (with Tov, in fact) I have Tov come up in dialogue first - only characterised through his words. It's amusing when he's actually pops up in person...

(By the way...you don't mind if I post my comments on Malkin sometime coming up in Taer? I don't have a full critique - but I think I've an idea of what you're aiming for with him. ^_^)

Go for it. I need a lot of help with him, but I haven't done a complete character remodelling in a long time. So I'll have to work on that.

And YOU need to post about Tov. Hmph. I need to see this intro of yours... Sounds like a really cool idea that fits him well.

hmm.. maybe. But I think that will only work if you do that every now and then anyway. Like..have you read any Tamora Pierce? I don't think you have, but there's a really good example there, I'll lend you the two books, I think (they're short, and read quickly).

What she did is When Alanna first arvies at the palace for trainning, she manages to make herself an emeny. Eventually, she beats him up (ok, not really, but that's the general idea), after he'd been tormenting her for awhile. Later (not sure which book, if the same or the next one), we meet the character again, but under a different name and in disguise. She knows she knows him from somewhere, and a little snopping finds his true idenity. Well, it basically went like that.. (and she was in disguise the eniter time as a boy..).

He was a more central character for a bit, then he disappeared for a time, and then came back, and it worked.

Another tactic Piece uses in the same series is the mention of a name a few times here and there, often as a red herring for the chacaters true idenity/purpose. Like, she thought the guy she liked was sleeping with this girl for the longest time (all while he had no idea she wasn't a he.. ah, intrigue), and later we find she was really working for his uncle who was trying to kill him, hence the bad feeling she had towards her in the first place, just misnamed.

Does that make any sense? Sí? Bueno!

Hehehe...

Just remember that when you introduce him again, you don't be flashy. So no "OMG, SEE? SEE? I AM A GOOD WRITER! I MADE A CHARACTER AND BROUGHT HIM BACK AGAIN!!!" If you do that, I will be forced to shoot you.

Hah. I think my character would strangle me first.

Don't worry, I'm not gonna have my other character think, "Wait, is he the same guy I saw back there at that place so long ago?" I'm going to challenge my readers. If they don't find the connection, it won't really change the plot. They'll just miss out on a really cool subplot.

I love the idea of hidden characters. I'm one of those people that reads that kind of thing in a story and wanders around for the next week and a half going "Oh my gosh, that is so cool!".

And now you're making me wish that I had a character I could "hide". *growls*

Other than that, I really have nothing else to say. Snoink seems to have covered my only qualm and I wouldn't imagine that you would do that anyway, Crysi.

Then that's good. ^_^ In the land of writing, I find death threats to be a very useful tool.

Another cool thing is when you take little dialogue snippets that don't seem to be particularly wonderful (or relevent) to the plot, but are fun nonetheless, and then you have them happen again. The reader probably won't pick it out at first reading, but if the he rereads it, he'll find some really neat stuff. For example, in my own story, I have a character joke about blood on a carpet. Later, there is blood on the carpet, and the character who said the dialogue as a joke is the one who caused that blood. It makes it interesting.

Anyway, good job. *pins gold star on Crysi*

Ooh, good idea! I heard that in the Harry Potter books, when Ron's joking about something it often comes true. I love things like that. In fact, I may just have to try it...

To the HP thing: Not really.


This is actually something that came to mind. I definitely can use one of my characters at the beginning.

Now, when they're met the second time around, should your character have a realization.

Ex: She came out of the shadow at the sound of her name. After staring for a moment I realized that I had seen her before. She was the redhead from the fireworks show.

Or maybe you could just say that the character looked farmiliar, and have readers flip back through and be all "AH! THAT WAS HER! Okay, cool."


Which one.....

Personally, I prefer the second option. The first one just seems too obvious, not subtle enough.

~Kay

Well, if the hidden character did something important when they were first introduced, then when they come back the other characters probably would make a big deal of it. But if it's just a little glance and then they happen to meet again why would the other characters be surprised? It was nothing really odd or anything.

That's how I'd work for realisations. I'd go by what's happened rather than by the desired effect, and just get them to match up.

When I read a book with a hidden character, I get most surprised when they come back if they had a reason to be there in the frist place. If they didn't, then I know they'll have to be important later because why else bring any attention to them? If they were just some random who brought in some tea at an inn, then I wouldn't expect them back at all. If you gave them a name when they brought the tea, then I might get suspisious.

If you described some random on the street for no apparent reason, then I wouldn't be surprised if they came back. If this random in question actually spoke, looked at, or winked at the character present, I would know said random would reappear. If the random bumped into the chracter, which sparked a description I would most deffinately expect to see them again, and if I didn't I would wonder at the writer putting something so trivial and unimportant into the story at all and not think them at the level I would have previously.

But then I'm looking for it. I have this little game I play to myself where I do things like guess who's going to die or who's going to reappear by the story and the character and how it's written rather than by plot. Plot you can't trust because the writer made it up to trick you into believing it's true. So, if you think no one's really paying attention to who/what is described when and what's the writer trying to be subtle and what's not the writer trying to be subtle ... there's at least me doing just that.

I just rambled on for a huge entry, sorry. I hope there was something important you could pick out of it.

*laughs* Actually, that helped a lot. I think I'll describe a few people around her, then, and not just focus on my hidden character. That might camouflage him a bit better. And I agree - you have to make it realistic. Would I remember someone in a crowd? I might, if they drew attention to themselves. Otherwise I probably couldn't remember any faces. Heck, at Kev's prom Saturday I was introduced to people and I STILL can't remember names or faces! *laughs* Still. Smooth it in as much as possible.

Joe - I personally am against realizations. I'm not sure if I'll even hint at the fact that my main character thinks the guy looks familiar later. I may have him mention something that hints at the fact that he was there, but my MC won't catch on. If my readers do, then bravo.