Young Writers Society

Okay, I am currently writting a story in first person and I'm not sure how describ a person in first person.

I don't usually write in first person so I really need your help on this!

You don't necessarily have to describe them.

Really, there's nothing wrong with leaving a character un-described, especially your viewpoint character in first person. Since the audience really is seeing everything directly through their eyes, it would be kinda weird to describe something like their own appearance, which they themselves probably don't think of much at all. At least, that's what I've always learned. Does that make any sense...? It's like, if you were describing your room, you wouldn't go "My room is painted blue. And by the way, I'm a five-foot-tall redhead with brown eyes, wearing a red t-shirt, jeans, and white sneakers." It would just sound... weird.

I managed to sort of work a vague description of my MC in, but it was a few chapters in, and sort of the sensible thing to lead into in the circumstances, a part of introducing a much more important character attribute (her tendency to push unpleasant thoughts away), and it was pretty short and to the point. ...I don't really know how to explain it without giving you the specific sentences. XD Anyway, I'm not even sure if I should have done that. I think it works pretty smoothly, but if a reviewer didn't like it, it'd be out in a heartbeat. I guess the point is, if you absolutely have to describe your viewpoint character, make sure you work it smoothly into the rest of the narration, and you'd better have a good reason.

Also, if you feel like you have to do it, try not to get too fancy with the adjectives: "gleaming emerald orbs" and "curls cascading down like liquid gold" rather than simpler words just reek of purple prose and, perhaps worse, just scream "Canon Mary Sue!!"

But really, what you want is to let your reader slip into the role of your character, and jarring descriptions kinda get in the way. So, you should probably just avoid it unless you absolutely must describe them.

...I hope that made a little sense, sorry if it didn't. I need more sleep... ^_^

Use other people to describe them. Maybe their best friend is jealous of their hair, or their father keeps commenting on how similar they look or something.

Are you trying to describe the speak or other people?


I've played around with a bit of first person, although my narrators in both pieces are real different. For one, describing people was fun and easy, because my character would always pick out the stranger things in people. Like the fact that a woman had hair on her upper lip, or I had him describe a kid as skinny, but instead of saying "he's skinny" he said "his skin hung on his face like a sheet on a bed" or something like that. It's like anything else, I'd say. Just try to make it in a pretty way, so it doesn't sound ugly. "He was fat, and had black hair" is boring. Using funny or foreboding metaphors is good. And, like the above said, you don't have to describe them. I find myself leaving my characters undescribed, for the most part, unless their look characterizes them strongly.

zankoku_na_tenshi wrote:"My room is painted blue. And by the way, I'm a five-foot-tall redhead with brown eyes, wearing a red t-shirt, jeans, and white sneakers." It would just sound... weird.

zankoku_na_tenshi wrote:Also, if you feel like you have to do it, try not to get too fancy with the adjectives: "gleaming emerald orbs" and "curls cascading down like liquid gold" rather than simpler words just reek of purple prose and, perhaps worse, just scream "Canon Mary Sue!!"

I completely agree. Tenshi pretty much said everything I was going to say.

Chocoholic wrote:Use other people to describe them. Maybe their best friend is jealous of their hair, or their father keeps commenting on how similar they look or something.

That could work, But, what if you wanted to describe more than, lets say the hair, its not like you can just have every friend be jealous of something, or one of everything.

Have the character do a self portrait, or try different things that make it so she can explain some!

Sorry, I have to go now. ><

~Arris

You don't have to have any. I'm like halfway through a book now, and apart from the fact that he's six foot three with a small scar on his arm, I havn't a clue what he looks like. Doesn't detract at all.

I think you could also get away with describing the character like one would in a third person POV, letting the description slip through with actions.

Like, in third person POV it would read:

Kay sighed to herself as she pulled her brown hair into a ponytail; long hair was nice, but it always got in her way.

But, in first person it would be:

I sighed to myself as I pulled my brown hair into a ponytail; long hair was nice, but it always got in my way.

Of course, first person is a bit different than third person, so they might not match up completely some of the time. Had to do a bit of work to match those two up completely, But, through the description you learned that she had long, brown hair, but you could also tell that it annoyed her at the moment. Showing instead of telling.

I generally stay away from first person, because I was so bad at this when I first started writing. Used to copy off of the Animorph books for style and it wasn't really pretty.... And then I moved onto third person, and my writing was still horrible. But, I got better,

Although yes, it is always nice for the reader to be able to place of a picture of said character in their mind, it can be frustrating to sit through a quite obviously forced description of someone. I would recommend you give us a brief yes, brief insight into the basic features, or rather the important physical descriptions, i.e. in a mirror.

Throughout the book as we get to know your person more and more, we should need less descriptions but since you only gave us a short insight into the them, we should see various parts of the character appearing, for example:

...and so the evil genius fell over, dead. I saw my dark brown hair wave in front of me, but I was happy and I didn't bother to wave it away...

Yep, appalling example, but good luck!

Make sure everything comes through the prism of your protagonist's POV. This influence can lead to some humorous asides: "My tutor called herself the Eternal Ruler of the Universe, although really she was just a mundane eccentric with a 2:1 degree called Carol." That sort of nuanced, prismatic description can really liven up what initially appears quite mundane, whilst adding some characterisation and showing us your protagonist's perception of the object/person in question.

But as they say, you can have too much of a good thing. Cluttering your descriptions with these asides can be distracting. Keep them few and far between; when they do occur, make them funny or effective in some other way.

First thing's first: do NOT be obvious about it (your MC stares into a mirror at his/her features, etc). If you really want to work in a description, spread it out, take your time. Work it into the action of the scene. Your reader, no matter WHAT your description is, will have a mental picture of your character. Subtly work in these descriptors to shift this mental image in minute ways, until their mental picture is close to your own.

EDIT: Also, when describing other people, don't be robotic! Your character is the narrator, not you. Let their quirks and biases describe the people around them.

Thanks to all of you for the helpful advice! ^_^

The best first person narrative I've ever read is All the Kings Men. In that book, the physical appearance of the character is rather vague, although some is revealed throughout. The thing is, its not really that important how the character looks if he is fleshed out enough in other ways. Its necessary to really make the narrater into an actual character. He/she needs to be consistent in their views, and really tell the story as they see it.

Sometimes, not describing your viewpoint character if a story is in first person can actually attract a reader more. They will be living directly through your character and, hopefully, they will become so enwrapped in your story that they will feel more like the character than themself. Adding physicals can be a hinderance. My suggestion, go without it. If you want, sneak in little things slowly throuh the story but don't drop it all on at once, it can feel a bit weird to the reader.

But good luck.

I prefer it when the narrator doesn't describe themselves at all. (With one exception: when Lestat talks about himself in the Vampire Chronicles, because he's really full of himself, so having him go on and on about how he looks fits really well with the character.)*

I really don't think there's a way for a character to describe themselves without coming off as awkward or self-centered. When I look in the mirror and my hair looks bad, I think ugh, my hair looks like a rats' nest, leaving out any other qualifiers like "curly" or "shortish" or "brown" because it's my hair and I know it's curly, shortish and brown. So, maybe having a character's thoughts on their appearance (I feel pretty today, I feel like death reheated and probably look about as good) instead of describing them? (Especially with first person narrators, because if a character is described as being vastly different from the reader, it can be a little jarring if it's a character you're supposed to identify with - as opposed to lust over (see: Lestat, again).)

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*/is secretly a fangirl

Oh yeah: Blatantly forced descriptions are a no-no.

There are two golden rules to remember:

1) SHOW, DON'T TELL

2) SAY MORE WITH LESS

Obey those and you'll be fine.