It's not a friggin' piece of cake, getting into the writing/publishing business. Some of you may know that very well. Some of y'all may not.
Those who know the bite of a rejection letter, the dread welling up inside your heart as you sit in front of a blank screen or a white piece of paper, knowing that the words just aren't coming, probably are saying, "Uh, well, DUHH. Don't you know what it's like thinking up a million-page story, writing that million-page story, editing the heck out of this piece of crap, writing up a kick-arse query letter, sending this piece of crap off to someone who's probably going to say no, sitting around like an old dog for a month or more, running to the mailbox faster than a car everyday, opening the mail box to find a rejection letter, AND HAVING TO START THE WHOLE DARN THING AGAIN!?!?!?"
Hrm. Well, not really.
But I do understand.
It's always easier to dream with that uncapped pen in your hands, what a magnificent thing that book will be one day, sending the whole literary world into shock and awe. It's so much comforting to slack off, thinking that you really do need that character's dream of their ideal car to start this story off with a big BANG!!! instead of starting on the damn story already. Us authors revel in the art of procrastination, the skill of wishing for the impossible.
Have you ever read a really, really cruddy book? Keep it in your head.
Think of the second worst book you've ever read. Keep it in your mind, too.
Think of the top 5 worst books you've read in your whole little LIFE.
They've got something that you don't, right?
Yeah. A really badly written story.
Nuh-uh.
These guys actually SAT DOWN. Wrote that million page story. Put some ice on the rejection burn they got, probably more than enough to survive. They licked their wounds, they kept pushing and pushing for someone to like their story enough to publish it, but they got past the real barrier.
They WROTE the story.
Don't look at that person who's standing in the grocery checkout line, bragging about how their book's going to be the next best thing, and when you ask them what it's about, they shrug off your question and say, "Oh, I'm going to write it."
Don't look at that classmate in AP English who really is a good writer, maybe better than you, who everyone expects to become the "next big thing", and not you.
Don't look at the people who sweeten you up with, "Of course, honey. You're great! You really should send it out." In the words of J.A. Konrath, who's had more than 400 rejection letters, this is exactly the same thing as chocolate. Writers relish it, but it's not good for you. Treasure the evil english teacher who marks up your short story and gives you 60s and 70s. She's doing the best for you. You can't grow if you're not willing to stretch your roots out, if you don't want to go through the pain of it.
So get up off your lazy ass and start writing that story. You keep on writing, don't you dare edit anything until you've written the last word of what you want to tell, you can send it to me to edit if you want. You be like those people who pushed with all their hearts to get even that pathetic story published, you push harder that them, you hear?
And now if you'll excuse me, I've got to find out the exact shade of Ryan Thomas Bloodgood Desimus's hair.
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