Young Writers Society

I've got so many stories started right now, it's unbearable, but I'll just pick one for this topic.
In a nutshell, I'm writing a story about a girl who is a princess and she hates being a princess, she wants to be a pirate. She grows up, runs away from home, becomes a pirate and meets a lot of different people along the way. (good or bad) She becomes wanted for tons of money and her family won't take her back in. She does have friends, and she has a "boss" kind of. He helped her by giving her a ship and everything. She falls in love with her childhood friend and her other friend gets jealous. She tries to kill her "boss" a few times because he only makes her life worst.
ANYWAY, in the end, the whole "the captain must go down with their ship" occurs and she either lives or dies.

But, if you were actually reading the story, is there anything I can do in it to make it better or should i do some kind of weird ending? I have a weird ending already but I wasn't sure if I should keep it.
Please lemme know, I've been writing this story for about 2 years now lol (Then someone stole my flash drive and I had/have to rewrite it)

Thanks!

It sounds like a fairy tale, kind of. You know, like The Princess Bride. As such, I wouldn't want to read it if it were written in a deep or literary tone, unless it was intended to be sarcastic. I think a lighthearted, whimsical tone would make it more enjoyable.

Also, I would want to know why she doesn't want to be a princess. I would also want to see her have to adjust from princess life to pirate life; the bed isn't as soft, the food isn't as good, she gets seasick - realistic stuff like that.

Don't worry, all of that is already in the story. She has a best friend, who is a maids daughter. She tells her friend everything, which tells the reader everything too. Like why she doesn't want to be a pirate. And theres this huge part (really boring to me) about her running away and becoming a pirate. It's only boring to me because I've had to rewrite that part like 5 times lol. (Revising)
Thanks for the tip about being more realistic. I'll definitely add that to the story ! =)

Is this going to be a children's story? It sort of sounds like it; if it was going to be anything else it would be a little lame.

And, I'm pretty sure that I've read stories like this before. What are you going to be doing in your story that is new?

Good luck.

Peace, love, chocolate,
Muffin

Hey Jassie! Well, I really think that to make this story really interesting is to add a ton of voice and humor! I mean, it would be a pretty boring book if it was written without voice. What I am talking about is like this for example

don't make fun of me:

bad ex: The princess cried in her room because the King and Queen wouldn't let her run away, and now they have posted guards at every entrance of the castle

good ex: You know what? Life sucks! I asked my mother - no wait - told my mother that I would be running away, and now look what happened! She put stupid little guards at every single entrance! I mean come on!

Ok, I know, this is probably not how a girl would react, but for me, as a boy, this is how I would think of the world. I would feel hatred and anger, and you should really put that in your story. I know that I am not as good as in author as everyone else, but if you want, add something like that.

Don't laugh.. I will be humiliated!!! lol


cya later!!
BBB

This actually sounds like a story I read in 7th grade, but I completely forget what it was called. It was some historical account of... some time period, and a girl pretends to be a pirate on an [obviously] all male crew. I forget what I thought of it...hm.

I think I read that book, Claudette/Suzanne...XD But anyways.

Hun, it's all up to you. In these kind of books, the best you can do is write your heart out and hope that it's not another hackneyed, cliche piece of shit.

I know what you're asking, and your worry about how it'll be cliche, or boring, or something that no one will read. But ultimately, this'll all be your decision, not ours. You're the one who has to give us

So if the weird ending is what you want, if the weird ending is what you think is best for your story, then go with it.

Like Shirley Jackson, on her short story "The Lottery". She didn't change anything about it, she said she wouldn't. She left the story and its symbols and whatnot up to the reader, to interpret it their own way. If you read it for entertainment, then that's what you got out of it. If you read it as a governmental point of view or whatever, then that's what you got out of it.

Of course, this is a children's book and things are taken lightly, things are meant to be standard, one-meaning. But you get the idea, no?

Thanks!
I'm gonna post the story asap. I realized there's a lot of revising to do. I learned some new stuff in my amazing English class today! lol

Anyway, keep a look out in the Writers Corner forum for my story, They Call Me Eli. (That's the title of this one)

thanks again!

This just sounds like 'Pirates of the Carribean' with a few changes.

I agree. The story is only as good as its writer. Any idea can be taken, yes even cliches and crafted into something original and refreshing. I'm going to use the King Example.

The Stand - Disease tries to take over the world and vampires are involved. When summerised it sounds terrible, but anyone who has read it will have found it a thoroughly good read. Now, not to be mean but when you put the idea in a paragraph it doesn't sound all that good. However if you choose a style, voice and correct POV you can craft this type of story into something original.

Okay, to make this more clear...

The story actually is nothing like Pirates of the Caribbean unless there's a new movie coming out I don't know about.
1. the main character is a girl
2. she's a princess (the girl of POC was not at all a princess)
3. it's my story

I started writing this story before the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie went to theaters.
The reason I put the story on here is because I am rewriting it. Last year, my flash drive was stolen and my entire story was on there. So, I have to rewrite all of them. This story was getting pretty long and upset as I still am, I'm going to keep writing it.
I apologize if Pirates of the Caribbean sounds like MY story lol. That is something I can't control. Maybe I get together with friends and petition =P
No offense, but after the flash drive thing, I'm still worried about having my stuff stolen. That's why the story isn't on this website yet.

Drugs. Sex. Alcohol. You know, the works.

Suzanne wrote:This actually sounds like a story I read in 7th grade, but I completely forget what it was called. It was some historical account of... some time period, and a girl pretends to be a pirate on an [obviously] all male crew. I forget what I thought of it...hm.

The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle? :D great book...

this sounds like a good story. the princess-running-away-from-home thing is a little cliche, but the rest isn't so much, so that's better. :D good luck and i'll go look for it!

Icaruss wrote:Drugs. Sex. Alcohol. You know, the works.

Huh?

You might check out The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle (as mentioned above) or Pirates! for research or whatnot. It might give you some ideas. Also, I agree about it sounding fairy tale-ish. An idea would be to find a fairy tale similar to what you're writing and remake it to tell your story (I'm big on fairy tale remakes ).

It sounds like it could be an interesting story. But my other suggestion would be, as has also been mentioned, to add a lot of character. Make sure your characters are three dimensional and all that fun stuff. Otherwise it'll just fall flat. Trust me, I know.