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Surprises.



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Thu Sep 13, 2007 3:37 am
Icaruss says...



I'm talking about plot-twists, revelations, sudden deaths, sudden kisses and the such. Many times, something that should be really shocking, comes in a way which makes it seems inconsequential. This happens, most of the time, because the writer takes too long, and focuses too much on detailing exactly what's happening. Or even focuses too much on what some particular character is thinking about, spoiling the surprise before it happens. For example, and sudden death can be pretty effective when nobody sees it coming.

"The two of them smiled, but John's grin quickly faded away. A quick shadow flew across the room, whizzing past the windows, and the cold, stone walls and piercing through her head. Blood spluttered everywhere. She was dead."

Now, there's nothing particularly wrong with that. You know? I mean, maybe it isn't Shakespeare but it tells what is happening, and it describes it well. But... does it have the effect required? No. It reads too slowly, so it ends up deminishing the death of the character. If you wanna make it surprising, you gotta keep it small.

"They smiled. The room was silent.
And then she was gone. Red flew across the room, hitting him in the face as she fell towards the floor, lifeless."

There. Sure, it doesn't tell you what happened to her. But it grips the reader, and it's exciting. You give the details after. That's how you make a sudden death sudden. Long descriptions just announce it. The same with revelations. It's better to have short dialogue between the characters, detailing the main revelation. The reader won't care how a particular character is saying the words, they just want to see what they're saying. It's best to leave those '... he muttered, scornfully.' till later. Focus on the conversation. Most readers will skip the rest.

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Fri Sep 14, 2007 10:38 am
Rydia says...



You make some good points but how the death is portrayed is not necessarily the most important factor. The setting and dialogue before the death can lead to the surprise and the characters involved are vital. For example -

"I like that skirt, it's like almost completely the same colour as your eyes!" Nancy gushed in a high, irritating voice as she threw her arms around her friend.

"Thanks Nancy," Tanya answered with a smug, satisfied smile. She extricated herself from Nancy's arms and fluttered her eyelashes to draw attention to the baby blue irisis. The eyelashes froze. Her pupils widened. Tanya fell to the floor, a dagger implanted in her chest.

"Oh look, now your shirt matches your hair," Nancy let out a short laugh as she turned away.

But it's a good tip and the factor of surprise is certainly essential to many stories.
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