Young Writers Society

I'm going to kill one of my main characters in a story I'm working on, and I'd like it to be a sad time in the book.

It's sad for me because she's my character, but I'm not sure it'll be sad for my reader. Any tips on how to do this?

Thanks in advance!

This would be good for me, too, seeing as I might kill of my character... (If I ever start writing again! Curse you Jenna for having the upper hand in word count!!)

The one way I know is to make the reader care about the character. But they should care about the character anyway. The second, is to make it so that the reader can relate. This will make them think of their sad times, and so, cause sadness.

Not the best advice, but it's something.

*sniffles* I have far too much experience in this area.

The safest way to ensure a character's death is sad is to characterize the character well before their death. If the reader is at all attached to the character, it will be sad.

As for other tips...

Don't rush the scene. This goes for almost any scene, but don't be in a hurry to finish the scene; take your time describing what is happening.

Write it from the POV of a character who is close to the dying character. If you do this, you can hint at some reactions of the character whose friend is dying and thus convey emotion to the reader. In example...

Lusien wasn’t sure how long they stood there in each other’s arms, only that it was not long enough and when the queen’s guards' footsteps and gruff voices ordering that the door be opened sounded outside, Lusien only held him tighter.

If this were not from Lusien's POV, it would not be nearly as powerful.

Exaggerate movements that indicate emotion. If there is another character present, describe any movements that portray their sorrow such as crying, screaming, falling etc. Another example:

She ran to the bars and gripped them desperately, rattling the door in a futile attempt to reach him. The guards were already leading him down the hall. Only one guard froze in his steps and looked back. Lusien cried out once more and fell to her knees, hands sliding down the rusted metal bars. She lowered her head and wept.

Lusien's action of gripping the bars is exaggerated here - conveying the full extent of her emotion.

Allude to death after it has occurred. The worst thing is when an author writes one paragraph about another character's sorrow and then seems to forget the other character's death. Allude to a character's death many times after it has happened - be realistic and don't let the emotion die.

Avoid describing intricate emotions a character is feeling immediately after death. Don't write that massive paragraph about how awful another character feels after the death. Show us; don't tell us.

Avoid overusage of words such as 'weeping' and avoid absurd gesture of sorrow. In short, don't be overly melodramatic or it makes it more comical than anything.

I hope those help you out. If you have any questions, PM me.

I'm wondering if extreme changes in emotion would bring the reader into the story more; for instance if the scene immediately before the death was a happy-life-is-good-time-of-your-life kind of moment, and the next was a tragic death.

Another thing that might help would be to include other sad instances nearby the death to increase feelings of sadness; something like seeing others crying (not necessarily because of the death) so it seems as if the whole world is mourning with them.


Let me know if these help

I think that only works if that's the character's outlook on life, Amelia. Otherwise, it'd be a huge red flag that someone was going to die soon. The day before should be an average day. Then, take the character out of that scene, and that's what the other characters are left with -- a hole. So, no, I wouldn't recommend making the day before some huge spectacular day, just an average day. Then the next day, when that character is suddenly missing. Then elaborate on the others' feelings.

Writersdomain wrote:*sniffles* I have far too much experience in this area.

The safest way to ensure a character's death is sad is to characterize the character well before their death. If the reader is at all attached to the character, it will be sad.

As for other tips...

Don't rush the scene. This goes for almost any scene, but don't be in a hurry to finish the scene; take your time describing what is happening.

Write it from the POV of a character who is close to the dying character. If you do this, you can hint at some reactions of the character whose friend is dying and thus convey emotion to the reader. In example...

Lusien wasn’t sure how long they stood there in each other’s arms, only that it was not long enough and when the queen’s guards' footsteps and gruff voices ordering that the door be opened sounded outside, Lusien only held him tighter.

If this were not from Lusien's POV, it would not be nearly as powerful.

Exaggerate movements that indicate emotion. If there is another character present, describe any movements that portray their sorrow such as crying, screaming, falling etc. Another example:

She ran to the bars and gripped them desperately, rattling the door in a futile attempt to reach him. The guards were already leading him down the hall. Only one guard froze in his steps and looked back. Lusien cried out once more and fell to her knees, hands sliding down the rusted metal bars. She lowered her head and wept.

Lusien's action of gripping the bars is exaggerated here - conveying the full extent of her emotion.

Allude to death after it has occurred. The worst thing is when an author writes one paragraph about another character's sorrow and then seems to forget the other character's death. Allude to a character's death many times after it has happened - be realistic and don't let the emotion die.

Avoid describing intricate emotions a character is feeling immediately after death. Don't write that massive paragraph about how awful another character feels after the death. Show us; don't tell us.

Avoid overusage of words such as 'weeping' and avoid absurd gesture of sorrow. In short, don't be overly melodramatic or it makes it more comical than anything.

I hope those help you out. If you have any questions, PM me.

I couldn't agree more. The only thing I have to add is something I actually learned from acting. It's a version of acting called method acting. When an actor is asked to portray a strong emotion, such as extreme joy, anger, sadness, or happiness, the actor will draw on experiences in his or her own life when they felt the same emotion, recalling how they felt, and bringing it to the stage. I use this a lot in my writing, and I feel it makes all the emotions come alive. In fact, it'll probably be easier for you, because you're intimately acquainted with these characters, (or so I assume) and are, usually, feeling what they feel. When you write, think of how it would feel to be in their position when this character dies and to feel that intense sadness. Would it cause physical hurt? Would you be able to cry? Would you want to wait to cry until you were alone and no one could see you? Would you want to hold that person's hand one last time, cold and lifeless as it may be? Just think about it, and bring whatever you come up with onto paper. Hope this helps.

I noticed that from the books that I have read that made me cry, the (like writersdomain said) the main character (or character closest to the one that died) feels the pain, which means that they cry, reflect on it, and any other way you might react when someone close to you dies. I noticed that how hard that the character who suffers seeing the death is usually a little less than how hard the death hits me. I don't know if I explained that very well....but anyways the thing that makes me really cry is if that character is innocent and was a good person/creature and didn't "deserve" dying.

Some of the advice here has been great.

My biggest caution to you is to make the death scene appropriate to the rest of your novel. If you have a first-person narrator who is very colloquial and "speaks" to the reader, don't suddenly have him/her drop out of "I thought she'd flipped her lid" to "Within my heart a great sorrow raged and tore at my inmost being." Because, obviously, that's only going to be melodramatic and will not flow with the rest of the story.

The way you write the scene will also depend on what purpose the death serves. Is it to teach the main character something and help them grow? To make a point about cause and effect? To wrap up a storyline? To lead into the climax? To push the character to a certain action or set of actions? Bear in mind what you are trying to accomplish, and then you can draw from that scene later as the character reacts to the death.

Good luck!

With as many death scenes as I've read and written, I find that describing another character's pain along with describing the death, like so...

Sarah fell to the floor as the light flickered away from her eyes like a star dying in the night. Tears welled up in John's eyes as he cradled hersmall, lifeless body. NO! he thought, She can't be dead! My daughter can't have been electrocuted! No, no, no! The wires that killed her lay there on the floor, not knowing what they had done, the pain they had caused. A tear rolled down John's cheek and fell onto the wires. The wires spit sparks and Sarah's body caught fire. John ran to the kitchen, filled a bucket of water, and doused the fire. Griefstricken, the man gently lifted his daughter and carried her away into the night.

Pain works on readers, so it's an author's job to tug at their heart.

snap wrote:I couldn't agree more. The only thing I have to add is something I actually learned from acting. It's a version of acting called method acting.

*high fives snap*

Me too! Acting has definitely improved my writing, and likewise.

Personal experience definitely comes into account. Think about how you react to death, what triggers the emotions.

Just don't make all your characters react in the same way!

Oh, and WD: Nice use of arrows.

Haha... strangely enough, this thread has been revived when I have to revise a character death scene and make it more realistic. O_o

My two cents? Hysterical characters are hard to write for. Eat breakfast before even trying to attempt it.

I totally agree with Ari- if a character is one way at the beginning of the chapter, they had better stay that way during the death scene. They can become dynamic and change (you know, go crazy with grief, and all of that), but they have to be the same person at their heart.

One thing that I notice a lot of writers do is they change their style- not only the characters, but the way they put sentences together- just because a death has happened. We have this gut instinct to make it big and dramatic and draw attention to it, but here's the thing: death is natural. It's going to happen no matter what you try to do, so it doesn't deserve quite the high pedestal.

Here's how I wrote a scene, keeping true to characters and style:

“She…” His shoulders sagged. “She’ll be buried on Thursday.”

Both of their breaths were coming in short gasps, until the hall sounded like it was filled with panting dogs. “I’m sorry, Addy.”

If I had given in to temptation to make it 'stick out', here's how I would have written it:

Adelais fell to his knees, gripping at his chest as though his heart were on fire. "I cannot go on," he said. "She was my best friend."

"No," said Liberty, tears streaming down her face. "She is your best friend. Your sister. And she loves you."

"But she is but a spectre of my bleeding heart!" He was on the floor writhing and sobbing, grasping at Liberty's hands as though he were drowning.

Yeah, uhm...so, movie-watchers, is that familiar to you at all? XD Here's why this doesn't work:

- I am very much the narrator of my stories. The panting dogs quip is totally me, but the mere 'reality' of things isn't, really. I'm more gritty than dramatic.

- At this point in the story, Liberty is a ditz. She hasn't a clue how to deal with death, or with people grieving, besides what she's seen her father do to distant relatives.

- Adelais is very dramatic, but only about certain things. His speech is usually pretty dramatic, but there's that whole 'boys don't cry' stigma, so his throat's probably going to be a bit choked, right?

And to set the record straight: crying isn't a clean affair. People's noses run a lot when they cry, so this leaping into each other's arms business with minimal snot involved just isn't very realistic.

So, to summarize: be true to yourself, your characters, and your world. Making things as real as possible will help readers connect, which is when the waterworks connect. If they find no correlation between themselves and the story, it just isn't effective.

"But she is but a spectre of my bleeding heart!" He was on the floor writhing and sobbing, grasping at Liberty's hands as though he were drowning.

XD I love Addy... He's so great. Sad his sister has to die.

Sam, those are lovely suggestions. I wish I was killing one of my characters!

You can't "make" a character death sad. That's the honest truth. Sadness is invoked in your readers by seeing someone/thing die who they have come to either (i) care for or (ii) anticipate. Both of these are accomplished by making this person unique and genuine.

What makes any death sad is not the loss of a life--running through rote descriptions of bodily contractions and relaxations as the body begins to shut down is not going to make anybody feel anything. At least in this sense, I disagree with Sam that it should be viewed as something entirely 'natural.' For the world, for Nature--death is natural. But we are creatures spawned and borne of life and hope, and what goes into making any death scene 'sad' (assuming you've done the necessary connection with your readers) is the diminution of these essentially human qualities--not dying, per se, but losing.

Another thing many writers (myself included) do is try to objectivize what is happening. Fearing they will come across too cliched or too annoying/dramatic, they run to the other extreme and become detached and disconnected. While I think that sort of thing DOES have its place in literature, and certainly can contribute to sadness regarding a character death, it works much better if you try to think of yourself watching this person die: what have you lost? when will you ever do X with this person again? what about Y that you two were supposed to do together? The sad realization that being apart is nowhere near as sad as never seeing someone again, no matter how much you loved or cared for them, is one of the biggest things I have seen and responded to in literature.

What does it mean to die, really? All biology and medicine aside--what does it mean? And that's the question your character(s) has (have) to answer, fundamentally, before any grieving process is going to start on the part of the reader. Part of what makes a death sad is the fact that somebody is eternally removed from our lives, but the other part is how your characters react/respond to that loss.

i think that if you've serusly tried to make your charicter a dynamic person and not just a charicter im reading about in a book. and you made them real and likeable or even made me feel sorry for them and u make the circomstances around thier death sad then the death will be said. also if u really belive that its sad and when u read it back to yourself its sad then the reader will see that in the book.