z

Young Writers Society


description issues



User avatar
16 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 326
Reviews: 16
Tue Sep 05, 2017 4:43 pm
ChocoDanish says...



I suck at describing help please. how do i describe this?
Attachments
a_request_from_new_futures_by_fanofmotorcity-d69pcbg.jpg
i'm nice most of the time but i'm no saint
  





User avatar
560 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 30438
Reviews: 560
Wed Sep 06, 2017 11:24 am
View Likes
Tenyo says...



Hi Kiri!

I took a quick glance through your portfolio. It looks like your descriptions are very systematic. It's very much a description of what is there rather than anything with a particular purpose. The other thing I noticed is that you're great at creating an image of a character through their nature and behaviour rather than through their image, and this is really cool! It works with your style of writing because your narration kind of provides a framework that your reader can interweave with their own imagination, and I love that.

To overcome the issue of describing things systematically I'd recommend going into a place you're not overly familiar with, look around for about ten seconds, and then start scribbling the first few things you notice. Then keep going. I find this really useful to tuning into the atmosphere of the place and the things that really define it rather than the technical inventory-style description. You can do it with people, too. Take a glance at someone, scribble the things that stand out, then do it again and again. You could also do it by thinking about someone you know, and see which details you recall easiest when you think about them. For most people it is the details that relate to the way they perceive their personality that they remember easiest. That's the kind of stuff to write about.

As for this particular image, try doing the same thing. It's a bit harder with something imaginary. To do it technically you could start from head to toe and try to describe every detail. To make it feel more natural, focus on the things that are particularly relevant to her character or the things that would stand out most.

Remember that no matter how accurate your description, your reader is never going to imagine it perfectly.

For me when I look at this image I see the amount of skin she has showing, and also how her small head and elongated legs make her look incredibly elegant, and if that suits her character then I'd say go with that. After that I noticed the finer detail on the belt, which seems to indicate money, and the asymmetry of her boots which gives a kind of defiant or rebellious air about her. Her coat and gloves are pretty, but they don't really indicate much about her character or background. I'll remember her elegance the most because this seems to decorate her as a character, and I can use this to paint a picture of the way she moves and acts, but I'll probably forget the design of her gloves.

Really good drawing by the way =]
We were born to be amazing.
  





User avatar
16 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 326
Reviews: 16
Wed Sep 06, 2017 12:50 pm
View Likes
ChocoDanish says...



i get fanart by artist that reads my story. so i try to incorporate them into it. @Tenyo
Last edited by ChocoDanish on Thu Sep 07, 2017 4:53 am, edited 1 time in total.
i'm nice most of the time but i'm no saint
  





User avatar
1272 Reviews



Gender: Other
Points: 89625
Reviews: 1272
Wed Sep 06, 2017 5:26 pm
Rosendorn says...



I'd focus on what it is you want readers to get out of this description.

What type of character is she? What role does she play in the story? What's her personality like?

If you answer those questions, we'll be able to help you with description a little more easily.
A writer is a world trapped in a person— Victor Hugo

Ink is blood. Paper is bandages. The wounded press books to their heart to know they're not alone.
  





User avatar
16 Reviews



Gender: None specified
Points: 326
Reviews: 16
Wed Sep 06, 2017 7:32 pm
ChocoDanish says...



that's spiral btw in ice area clothes but the role is good advice. @Rosendorn
i'm nice most of the time but i'm no saint
  








Everything is a lot of things!
— Hank Green