Okay. I'm not sure WHAT'S wrong with it, but something wrong. Perhaps I need to step out of the paragraph entirely and have something new? Maybe... but this just isn't working.
This is the first paragraph of FREAK:
The headmistress had promised to be back soon, but judging by the loud crash that the freak had heard and the string of curses that followed, she guessed that the headmistress wouldn’t be coming back as soon as she hoped. The freak shivered and clutched the shabby towel closer to her, looking away from the closed door. Screaming followed the curses.
...
AH!
So! Help?! Ideas?!?!?!? Anyone?
*stabs FREAK with red pen*
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