Young Writers Society

So, it's in first person.
I have the hook in the beginning.
I start it really close to the 'turning point'. In fact, it starts with the turning point.
My problem is, the turning point is some sort of a 'solution', and I didn't (or, don't intend to) explain the problem first.
If I change the timeline of the story, meaning, begin it at the time the problem starts, then the whole story would change, so I can't do that.

I'll just put in the beginning to make it easier to understand.
So the story is about this angel who is supposed to teach humanity the way of life(a religion, in short), because human is currently a problem to the world(constant war, unable to live in harmony with nature, etc). The start of the story begins with God giving the task to the angel.

So the underlined is the problem, and I'm thinking I'm supposed to assume the reader would understand just by me writing down 'human is a problem, so I need to do this'.
The bolded is the beginning, and since it's the beginning, I don't want to focus on explaining the 'problem'.

So...any suggestions?

I'd say go for just jumping right in on the action. Give some basic explanation about the problem (what's going on, who's involved, a basic why everything is happening) but don't go any more in depth than that. This can all be worked into the story when God is giving the task to the angel, so the reader gets the jist of things (if the story is more centered around the angel's task rather than the human's problems then they don't need a lot of backstory on the human's problems) and then get on with the story.

Plus, you can always post it on YWS and reviewers can tell you whether or not it is easy to follow with whatever amount of backstory you chose to include.

Good luck!

Thank you!
That's what I want to do. It's just, my worry comes from when I explain the situation so lightly (that human is a problem), worrying the reader won't easily accept it.
Especially because it's first person. I know the angel can be subjective about humans later on (something like, "I wish God didn't create them to be this stupid"), when the human problem is already clear. But on the beginning, I can't really put in such subjective thoughts, since 'how' human is a problem is not even clear. Even though the angel want to put in subjective thoughts, because he already felt that way/acknowledge human is a problem before the task is given.

That's pretty much the main problem. Story-wise, maybe it could work out just simply saying 'human is a problem' and go on. But that limits the angel's perspective that can be written down for the reader.

I hope you know what I mean. >_<

Ooo, you're in a 'lil bit of a pickle.

Why can't you be subjective? That could be pretty cool if you gave it a shot. (If you don't want to, just ignore everything from down here).

Well I have a suggestion. You could begin with the angel saying that humans are the problem with the war and such (but only briefly) and then jump into the action. This will not only be accepted by a reader, but will also make it sound really cool. I don't think I am making much sense, so I'll explain it. This is my own corny version, just to explain what I am trying to say.

> They destroy everything. Corrupted by war, they feed on anger like parrasites...yadda yadda etc. Explain a little bit more if you'd like, just don't go into it thoroughly. Then explode into action, for example.

I think that would fit nicely...but then, that may destroy everything you've written. I'm sorry if this has just muddled you up but in my opinion, be subjective. I'm sorry I have nothing else to offer.

You also don't have to explain the entire problem right away. If the angel believes humans are the problem with the world, he/she will probably act unsympathetic towards them. We can learn how the angel feels and what the mission was gradually. We don't need to know exactly why the angel feels this way, or why God gave the mission at the beginning. We can figure it out as we go.

@Apple

Well I have a suggestion. You could begin with the angel saying that humans are the problem with the war and such (but only briefly) and then jump into the action. This will not only be accepted by a reader, but will also make it sound really cool. I don't think I am making much sense, so I'll explain it. This is my own corny version, just to explain what I am trying to say.

> They destroy everything. Corrupted by war, they feed on anger like parrasites...yadda yadda etc. Explain a little bit more if you'd like, just don't go into it thoroughly. Then explode into action, for example.

I think that would fit nicely...but then, that may destroy everything you've written. I'm sorry if this has just muddled you up but in my opinion, be subjective. I'm sorry I have nothing else to offer.

In your example, I don't think that's 100% 'subjective' thoughts (the 'They destroy everything, etc'), since, at least, he's describing the situation.

I don't have problem with just that. What my problem really is is everytime I try to be subjective in the usual first-person manner (such as, saying "I like apple, therefore I'm going to go plant an apple tree!" kinda thing/thoughts), I need to point out WHY I like apples, right?

Of course, liking apple in this case is a matter of random preferences. In my beginning's case, it's subjective thoughts such as how the angel think the humans are 'that' bad, not worth saving, and how he'd rather not do the task.

@AuroraOrodel
Actually, the focus of the story is not really how human is a problem. That's why I'm currently considering ways(like changing who's doing what to who, who decided what, who thought what, etc) to take out the mention of 'human is a problem' point entirely, so the angel can be fully subjective about 'a task', not about 'a task concerning humans'. (<- actually, this is just one of the idea I'm considering. Maybe there's another way to solve this...thing)

The focus of the story started with God giving a task to this angel(because of a problem: human), and then on to his everyday life doing this task.


...Ignore this post if what I'm saying sounds random. It's midnight and that might affect the relevance to the problem.

What my problem really is is everytime I try to be subjective in the usual first-person manner, I need to point out WHY I like apples, right?

No. Do you always point out why you like/dislike something? Do you always have a clear reason for liking/disliking something?

Having tidy little explanations crop up every time there's a subjective thought reeks of contrivance. Don't always point out the why, at least not right away, and don't always give a clear why. It's okay to muddle things or just leave them as a simple subjective opinion of your character.

That said, there are times when you do need to give plausible reasons. The big subjective and plot-important character views, for instance, should probably be explained. But they don't have to be stated obviously or right away, and you can have multiple reasons given with all/some/none of them being the "true" answer.

But that's all I can really say. What little information you've given us so far is too vague to really give me a good idea of what you're trying to do, or what might work well for the story.

'Leaving the reason as to why human is a problem', I got that suggestion a lot.
I know it can work out, but why I still see it as a problem is because, I'm trying to focus on the whole story on a different way than the usual 'at the next chapter, or the next scene, some things about the human problem will be revealed' or something.

Think Doraemon, for instance. The normal 'series' one.
The focus of the story is not really an 'adventure' or 'plot&arc stirred'. Doraemon came to the picture on chapter 1, then from chapter 2 onwards, it's all about 'Nobita and his days with Doraemon(and his futuristic gadgets).'
I want the beginning to be like that, easy to accept like when Doraemon came and how easy Nobita (and everyone else) accepts it. It's like, chapter 1 completely sets the situation, and chapter 2 onwards is based on little plots/stories like, "today, I found an egg in front of my house".

So...yeah.