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Using too much foreign language?



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Mon Aug 25, 2008 7:39 pm
Snoink says...



Okay! So I was editing FREAK obsessively again, and I came up with the problem of foreign languages. Should you use foreign language in large quantities, even if they are explained?

For example!

“What do the poems say?” the freak asked.

He frowned. “The first one is from a book I translated, working for Claude. It goes like this, ‘Per me si va ne la città dolente, per me si va ne l'etterno dolore, per me si va tra la perduta gente. Giustizia mosse il mio alto fattore: fecemi la divina podestate, la somma sapienza e 'l primo amore. Dinanzi a me non fuor cose create se non etterne, e io etterno duro. Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate.’ It is from a book about a man’s journey in hell. You see, before he can enter paradise, he must go through this hell and work his way through the various layers of different torments. It was a rather disturbing book to translate, if only because the tortures were so imaginative that it was frightening. This passage comes just before he enters a place where people have never known God. He sees a sign over this gate, with the poem inscribed in it.”


The freak frowned. “Does he understand the poem?”
Sadie’s father smiled. “Of course he does. This story was written in that language originally. However, he doesn’t understand the meaning of the poem. The poem starts with ‘For me you come to the pained city, for me you enter everlasting pain.’ He is entering hell, you see? He is coming into a world without love, without God. The poem continues in its riddle form, speaking of justice, power, wisdom and love, in absolute terms. The ending, ‘Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate,’ is familiarly known as ‘Abandon all hope, all ye that enter.’”


So that's a lot of foreign language. I mean, it's copied from a very standard source (Dante) so it's not totally unrecognizable, but still. I could edit it, I guess, but I don't really want to. Not yet. So! Is it stupid for me to have this huge block of foreign language?
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Mon Aug 25, 2008 8:27 pm
Twit says...



I like using foreign linguae... I guess it's a way of smug showing-off. :roll:

If it's in other books, it depends on what language it is. If it's one that I know bits of, then I like it because I can try and stumble through a "translation".
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Tue Aug 26, 2008 12:08 am
Sam says...



No, but it would be advisable to break up the language a little to mimic how people learn. Unless you're a savant, you don't deal with large blocks like that all at once. Now, I know it's a poem, but you want to space things out a little so that it looks a bit like:

“Hăo, hăo, she’s day-ting some brown boy--qīng zhēn,” She said. Muslim. “Huài dàn, mmm?”

Rotten egg.


Of course, when you have a continuous block of text, you want to take it slow--find a place to break it up. If it's a couplet, break it up there. It's important to note the familiarity of the secondary character with this language, and then base the rate of the speaker on that. Are they fluent, but rusty? Are they so familiar with this passage that they begin to mumble along? Or do they pretend to know more than they actually do?
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Tue Aug 26, 2008 12:14 am
JFW1415 says...



*Shrugs* Just know that a lot of people don't bother trying to come up with a translation. When I see a different language, I skip it. xD

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Tue Aug 26, 2008 12:34 am
xxfourthelement says...



Depends on how long it is.

In novel format, that would look fine. I'd read it. But then, I love foreign languages and try to learn them near obsessively. =]

Seriously, though - keep the Italian. If the passage is about translating, it's a bit important.
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Tue Aug 26, 2008 12:48 am
Krupp says...



I probably WOULD use foreign language, having taken six years of it and having finally finished learning it for good...but I keep forgetting to do so.
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Tue Aug 26, 2008 2:02 am
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Angel of Death says...



As long as you translate the language into English and put it somewhere at the end of your piece, I don't see the problem in using a large quantity of a foreign language. I mean, I think using the language that pertains to a character(s) makes the story more real and unique.
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