This is one of the few poems I've written in my lifetime, and it's certainly the first one I've posted on YWS. It's safe to say I had no idea what I was doing.
Asking forgiveness for misplaced loyalty
I’ve lived for a long while now in this castle, you know,
and I could tell you
almost anything about it. I know how
the stone in the tower grows cold in
the winter, how the
mice get into the kitchen
even still, the names of
the people in the portraits and the
colors of the rugs in the halls.
I was here when
they built the thicker outer wall, and
I watched as they chiseled
the slits for the archers. I was here as
they dug the moat and
diverted the river. I remember when
merchants from all over would come to sell
their wares in the market,
but that was years ago.
This castle’s been under siege, you know,
for longer than I’ve been here,
from one other kingdom or another. At first
it was just a small attack
now and then, but then
they were larger and better organized. That’s why
they built the new wall and
made the slits
for the archers. That’s why they
dug the moat and diverted
the river. That’s why the
merchants no longer come
by, you realize. We’ve been barricaded
in for months now. They’re trying
to starve us out. We’re
trying to outlast them.
Sometimes, though, I think it’s
all for nothing, and I don’t even
know what it’s
about, and since I know
everything about this castle, I
wonder if I shouldn’t tell
those men outside the walls about
the faults in the stone. They could
aim their cannons there and
we’d stop all this
waiting for surrender or retreat.
But these are
treasonous thoughts,
dangerous ideas.
And I’ve lived in this castle
for too long a time now to
watch it become rubble.
The drawbridge, though. You
can see if it you look
hard enough through the
night. I could let down the drawbridge
and open the gates,
and the men outside could storm in
and it’d all be over and
our men could be dead and our
women could be raped and whatever they
do with children could be done
and we'd all stop dreaming and
remembering how it all once was
and eating with mice with
jealous teeth and
thinking traitorous thoughts as the
blood and disease run down our hands
and thinking and thinking I
know everything about this castle,
everything, everything, everything,
the drafts and the faults and the
weaknesses in the drawbridge
chains.
But you'd kill me if I tried.
Gender:
Points: 17359
Reviews: 253