Young Writers Society

A tear for the fights
The farewell
That last Sunday

Sadness is near
I felt so strongly for you
And you for I

A tear
For the end
Pain
For the loss

Your words are clear in my mind
"Get better."

"You deserve so much in life."
Never will I forget.
"I'll be here for you forever."
Though maybe not as lovers

A smile
For the first 'hello'
The first moment

Closure is here
I felt so strongly for you
And you for I

A smile
For the memories
Contentment
For a new beginning

Your promise is clear
In my mind
I will get better

I do deserve better
Never will I forget
A lifetime awaits us
Though maybe not as lovers

Friends
Then, now, tomorrow
Forever

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

Alright, so honestly, I didn't understand this poem at all. It felt kind of choppy to me, which forced my attention away from the meaning of the poem. So I'm not going to critique the poem itself, since that wouldn't be fair to you, since like I said I didn't understand it. However, I will critique the punctuation. Here's my solution:

A tear for the fights.
The farewell
That last Sunday.

Sadness is near;
I felt so strongly for you
And you for I.This should be "me" I do believe.....

A tear
For the end.
Pain
For the loss/

Your words are clear in my mind:
"Get better."

"You deserve so much in life."
Never will I forget.
"I'll be here for you forever,"
Though maybe not as lovers.

A smile
For the first 'hello,'
The first moment.

Closure is here.
I felt so strongly for you,
And you for I. Me?

A smile
For the memories.
Contentment
For a new beginning.

Your promise is clear
In my mind.
I will get better. This stanza is especially important to have punctuation for, because it could be read "You promise is clear in my mind. I will get better." Meaning you've promised I'll get better, or "You're promise is clear. In my mind I will get better." Meaning, It will be a figment of my imagination. Punctuation is everything!

I do deserve better.
Never will I forget.
A lifetime awaits us,
Though maybe not as lovers.

Friends;
Then, now, tomorrow
Forever.