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Young Writers Society


Tick-Tock! Tick-Tock!



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7 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 962
Reviews: 7
Sun Oct 30, 2011 5:46 pm
catherinemurder15 says...



Tick-Tock! Tick-Tock!

Tick- Tock! Tick- Tock!
Tick-Tock! Tick-Tock!
Goes the clock
Around the block
Scampering and Scaring the flock
Leaves rustle under his feet
One man with a strength of a fleet
You wouldn’t like to meet
As he steps his foot
Crunches his root
On the search of hidden loot
The owl hoots
As he prowls over his prey
And drinks with gay
As the earth reflects the sun rays
There he lays
Inside the big bed case
With high officials pondering over the case
"No one can defeat him in this race
Not the other race
No one can keep up the race
To destroy this race
To keep up the pace"

White-Grey circle shimmers on the puddle
All the men stop their pedal
To regain their energy to pedal
The blanket of darkness takes he earth in its arms with cuddle

Silence prolongs
Grandpa’s clock goes ding-dong!
As sinners pray for their wrongs
As all the sound ceases with nature’s song
There he comes!!!
Beauty of all the flowers
Beauty of the heaven’s shower
Never can anyone imagine that
But inside…. The thirst of a bat
The swift legs of a cat
Glimmering teeth of rat
“Blood…..Blood…..I Smell”

Silence prolongs
The man fusses with his luggage
Came there for his wage
Felt a rage
As there was no one of any age
The wind threw a page
He saw that it was the Bible
Full of blood scramble
He heard the sudden cool breeze babble
He heard the pebble get crumble in the silence
His sweet-tender human claws
His firm-graceful human paws
His reddish-lipped human jaws
The race’s laws


“Blood…..Blood…..I Smell”
The wolf’s eyes sparkle
The predator’s secrets crackle
They shake the heads of green leaves and maples
The cry of the human flower-buds
Fills the air
Goosebumps and fear straightens every hair
Horses clutches tis mare
The cool breeze brings the death omen
The wolves sparkling eyes pops out of everywhere
The creatures creep out of the coffins
The predator glares
His heart jumps with joy
As the man’s heart stops
The eyes shine with joy
As the man’s heart stops
He lay on the ground
His soul now without bound
The predator’s tongue licks the blood off his lips in a slow pace
As he begins another new maze
With hawk’s gaze
He keeps his yet another step that finishes the fate of yet another soul
Carrying the chill
Carrying the wolves
Carrying the evil
To feed his lips

Tick-Tock! Tick-Tock!
Goes the clock
Around the block
Scampering and Scaring the flock
  





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9 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 934
Reviews: 9
Sun Oct 30, 2011 7:47 pm
brittistenten says...



This reminds me of a really cool historic nusery rhyme! Like something little kids would make up about the British comming. Nothing really bothered me in this, I could not for the life of me find one mistake. The only thing I would change is when it says it the grandfather clock goes ding-dong, I would have put it as Tick-Tock to make it go with the story. In all its really good keep up the good work! :)
  





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157 Reviews



Gender: Female
Points: 22293
Reviews: 157
Tue Nov 08, 2011 12:01 pm
ERZA says...



I REALLY liked this poem and it kind of reminds me of a story which I used to hear a LOT when I was in elementary. Nice poem actually! And it has a lot of energy and myateriousness in it. Overall it was REALLY a nice poem other than being bulky, it had no major flaws. Good work and keep writing!!!!
Always and Never are two words to always remember never to use.
  








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