Young Writers Society

And so it’s goodbye.

Goodbyes taste like an empty temptation
with the reality that all we let go of was simply
released to let go right now, that hands in hair and faces
pressed to live through each other’s warm breaths in the chill
of the bus-stop leaves us aching breathless now,
as we pull away. Choking with the bus’s acid cough.

“Remember me?” I ask him with a awful selfishness,
having already pocketed his promise while a fraction of my heart lies
creased in the binding of his suitcase. He laughs at my question, says,
“I’m not the one to forget,” and this is undeniable, because
I can see through him every inch of me, and know that the tedious words
are still loosely locked beneath his throat. And all this time,
I’ve tried so hard to pull away.
What a terrible mistake.

For a final time, a touch of arms around one another, locked until
we’re molded like the fog and ice around us,
taking in a final gulp of air to only manage a “goodbye.”
This isn’t the word you wish for. I don’t wish for it either,
but it’s hard to speak when I feel my eyelashes brush your neck,
and I sense your heart step just a little faster through that labyrinth of your chest.
It’s locked away, much like mine, and fearing a tell-tale heart, I suppose
it’s safest to keep there behind these bone-made bars.

We know that miles speak much louder than our hearts, wavelengths
longer, reminding us it’s best to leave what we know unsaid,
for ignorance is bliss, even if it makes us lonely.
Silly boy, I know you’ll find one better than me, so please,
just send the remnants of my heart through the mail; no letter is needed.
We’ll keep things as they’ve always been: unsaid.

This is really good. For some reason I get a sense that this or something close to it has happened to you. Though who am I to judge what is truth and what is not? I did not see any mistakes in spelling or punctuation or grammar in general though judging from that I'd say you know what you're doing when you write. I really enjoyed the poem. I could feel as the characters felt and I was filled with endless questions. I enjoyed it every bit. Good job and keep it up(:

This was very touching. There was something in it that could penetrate into the readers feelings and leave behind a sense of hope and satisfaction, as if somethings are better left as they are. The metaphors used were also very impressive. And how can I leave out that ending line... Lovely poetry. Keep writing, keep improving.