Young Writers Society

Now, before you flame me, this is a found poem, meaning it is based off a piece of prose. The section of prose is taken from J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Two Towers". I did it for a school project and I really enjoyed doing it, so I thought I would share it with you guys. Okay, here it is.

A strong place and wonderful was Isengard,
And long had it been beautiful;
And there great lords had dwelt,
The wardens upon the West,
And the wise men that watched the stars.

But Saruman,
He had slowly shaped it
To his shifting purposes,
And made it better, as he thought,
Being deceived.

For all those arts and subtle devices
For which he forsook his former wisdom,
And which he fondly imagined
Were his own,
Came out of Mordor.

It came from Mordor,
So what he made was naught,
Only a little copy,
A child’s model
Or a slave’s flattery.

That vast fortress,
Armoury prison,
Furnace of great power,
Barad-dûr,
The Dark Tower.

It suffered no rival,
And laughed at flattery,
Biding its time,
Secure in its pride
And in its immeasurable strength.

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Now here is the original quote, just so I don't get in trouble.

"A strong place and wonderful was Isengard, and long it had been beautiful; and there great lords had dwelt, the wardens of Gondor upon the West, and wise men that watched the stars. But Saruman had slowly shaped it to his shifting purposes, and made it better, as he thought, being deceived - for all those arts and subtle devices for which he forsook his former wisdom, and which fondly he imagined were his own, came but from Mordor; so that what he made was naught, only a little copy, a child's model or a slave's flattery, of that vast fortress, armoury prison, furnace of great power, Barad-dûr, The Dark Tower, which suffered no rival, and laughed at flattery, biding it's time, secure in its pride and its immeasurable strength." (The Two Towers, ch. 8: The Road to Isengard, J.R.R. Tolkein)

Well, I can't help but notice that the lines in the original chapter you've quoted and the lines in the poem are very much a alike, if not the same. Maybe you could have made it more original by portraying it in a different perspective or by using a more customized form of verse other than what the mentioned quotation describes. I strongly suggest that you read it out a couple of times and come up with a more personalized poem which has come out from your own thoughts. Even though it's based off another writing doesn't mean it should have the same exact attributes, right?

So I can't really give my real opinion on what I feel of your poem since it isn't really 'yours'. You've been presented with such a great backdrop, story and matter, so make it more unique and show that it was done by 'you'!

i really don't mean to 'flame' you, but as a fellow writer, I'm just giving you some advice. I'm not much of a fan for changing other peoples' pieces but in this case, it had to be cited. I'm glad that you've taken the initiative of trying to present the whole quote into a poem.

Keep the ink flowing!

Thanks for your input, but the whole point of a "Founded" Poem is to take the exact text of the prose and to transform it into a poem. I had to do this for school, and my teacher liked it, so I thought I would share it on here. It's not that important to me, so you can come back and check it, but nothing will have changed, as I'm not going to be spending any more time on it. Thanks for your input though! And just to everyone else who may review, I know that it's similar, but that's the point. Thanks.

Well, found poems aren't my favorite, but I do have to say that I think you did a good job breaking up the lines to transform this paragraph into poetry. Of course Tolkien often uses good descriptive language to begin with and can get flowery or a little metaphoric in his prose, so that helps - if you took a totally boring passage and did this, I think it just wouldn't work.

The only thing is - and I don't know precisely what the assignment was, so I guess I can't judge properly - I wish that, instead of just being exactly this paragraph, the only difference being that it was originally in paragraph form and is now broken up into stanzas, it would be nice if this used lines from a few different parts of the book (all in reference to Isengard, since that's what the subject is). Because right now, I can read the poem, or I can read the paragraph, and it's all exactly the same information. It'd be nice if you took a few lines from elsewhere in the book or left off a few lines from this paragraph (or both). But I guess if your teacher had you only use that paragraph, you're a little limited in your ability.

Also, if you want to reply to someone's comment, just post to their wall - we don't get notifications when you post replies to our replies here.

~Blue