Young Writers Society

A world gone by is a world found new
A change of time is a change of Hope
A decade, a century, an age gone by,
Leaving behind a Torch forlorn.


Dawn breaks on an age of fools,
Bringing on new dreams to aspire,
A race it becomes to be one who rules,
In the blindness of needs who looks for virtues?

Ambition to Passion…Passion to Madness,
Who will light the way in this Darkness?
Cry for freedom gets buried deep,
With chain bound hands and mind asleep.

No one breaks the bars, no one rattles the cage,
No sense of guilt in hearts burning with rage,
A flickering hope gets extinguished…
What was the secret of the World gone by?

What is the secret of the World anew?
To discover the future, look into the Past,
To search for Identity, search for self,
And unite as one to Light the Torch.

Fixed here! I'll be reviewing this.

pencilgirl wrote:A world gone by is a worlda world found new
A change of time: is achange of Hope
A decade, a century, an age gone by,
Leaving behind a Torch forlorn


Dawn breaks on an age of fools,
Bringing on new dreams to aspire,
A race it becomes on new dreams to aspire,repitition... the bad kind. how to fix this?
In the blindness of needs who looks for virtues?

Ambition to Passion…Passion to Madness,
Who will light the way in this Darkness?
A cry for freedom gets buried deep,
With chain bound hands and mind asleep.

No one breaks the bars, no one change to norrattles the cage,
No sense of guilt in hearts burning with rage,
A flickering hope gets extinguished…
What was the secret of the World gone by?

What is the secret of the World anew?
To discover the future, look into the Past,
To search for Identity, search for self,this line just doesn't fit. I felt the need for it to rhyme with past, for some reason. perhaps you could say search for identity in lives avast
And unite as one to Light the Torch

All in all, this was a lovely poem. I really like what you've done with it. Just a couple things like your spelling mistake and some parts in flow, it really was great. PM me if you have questions, I'd love to help.

'a world' 'centuary' 'on new dreams to aspire' were all typing errors which i have now corrected.
repetition of 'no one' creates the rhythm in the line so i wouldn't change that. i did not add 'A' before 'cry' on purpose because i did not want it to be a single cry. and i would still want the line 'to search for identity, search for self' to remain the same because rather than focussing on the rhythm i would want to focus on the idea or the beleif i want to point out in the poem which is exactly that 'to search for identity, search for self'.
thnk you for liking the poem.

A world gone by is a world found new
A change of time is a change of Hope
A decade, a century, an age gone by,
Leaving behind a Torch forlorn.

Hello there, I just wanted to first off, before anything else outline this stanza becuase I thought it was flawless and wise. I think I smiled a bit. Good arrangement of words, creative idea and a wonderful attempt! That's all I have to say
Good job

thank you and i smiled at you'r reply i thought my poem would never be commented flawless. i'm happy you did =)

Pencilgirl!

You've shown such a great amount of profound meaning form this piece and I'm instantly switched on to philosophy mode. It didn't sound too monotonous and kept the tone at an interesting pace. The subtle and calm rhyming in the words makes this poem sound rich. This was a great attempt and I'm sure you'll do even better in your new poems as well.

I enjoyed this piece and I can't wait to read more. Keep the ink flowing!

Murtuza