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I think changing it at this point after having written so long ago would screw it up
Chevy wrote:Whoa the rhyming was ways off. It could have been very good if it hadn't been for that because you actually used imagery. The worse rhyming combination was "totality" and "immortality" because it sounds almost just alike. Unless you're trying to prove a point with the pathetic rhyming, I would not suggest http://rhymezone.com this time. I'd bet if you changed all the rhyming this would be a much better poem.
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