Young Writers Society

I picked it up,
And quickly closed the freezer door.
An icy mist was already filling the room.

The tiled floor made my feet sting with cold,
So I ran out of the kitchen and back up the stairs.

I creeped into my brothers room,
And removed the heaped covers from his sleeping body.
He was snoring loudly and didn't suspect a thing.

A nervousness filled me,
As I slipped it down my brother's shirt.

I ran,
And ran and ran until I was safely behind the locked bathroom door.
Nobody could get me in here... I was safe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Meanwhile~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My brother awoke with a scream,
He looked around... but there was no one there.
He reached for the thing that had caused him so much pain,
And found in his hands... an ice lolly.

Interesting, and I found the ending funny. But, if this is poetry, it ought to go more like a poem. Just telling a story and dividing it up into several sentances isn't enough.
Someone else will be able to give you a better crit, as my poetry writing skills are worse than a Vogon's, and my poetry critiqing skills are worse.

-Twit