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Young Writers Society


My Ghost and I



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61 Reviews


Gender: Female
Points: 3371
Reviews: 61
Sat Mar 05, 2011 4:17 am
cupcake says...



This is such a great poem! I love it. My favourite part is:

SmileLikeUMeanIt wrote:My past is dead
I asked her to leave

My past is dead
And my ghost follows me


I liked how you repeated "My past is dead"
Keep writing! :D
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A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
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131 Reviews


Gender: Male
Points: 3181
Reviews: 131
Sun Mar 06, 2011 4:35 pm
322sivart says...



Hey Smile,
I'm here as requested. Thanks for asking me to review this.
I like the fact that you have the power over your readers in hte sense that short, not too descriptive lines in an emotional poem can still grasp me. It is not vivid, but I think for this poem, that's a good thing. Some of the lines that you used, such as "she swallowed my words" make this poem potentially very relateable to many people, I think.
Overall, I really like this poem. Keep up the great work.
-Alex
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I'd be happy to give them.
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What will live longer, you or your words? Something to think about the next time you abandon a project...
— Omni