Young Writers Society

You know you love him. There's no denying it.
Look at you, girl. Your quivering bright eyes give it all away.
You won't say it. Will you?

Looks like you're in love with your best friend.

You really should be sleeping.
You have plans tommorrow.
But you're awake, thinking of him.

You used to talk to the mirror.
He says it's cute when you do this and that and this.
And you

fall

away.

Dancing dizzy. Your thoughts swing and turn, cantering sway.
I can see it.
You hide it behind a torn curtain.
I can see straight through.

You didn't plan this.
Did you?

He can probably tell.

Your speech, your song, your flowing eyes give it away like a serenade of thunder.

You blush.
So does he.

That flower he gave you yesterday is still under your pillow.
There it may stay for eternity.
If it lasts that long.

Admit it.

If only to yourself, say it.
Before it dissolves in your mouth.

You know you love him. Why deny it?

You're so busy loving him.
If you were paying attention...

He loves you too.

Hey! Nice poem. Although the structure is a little inconsistent and I don't know, weird, it's a really good idea. But maybe the structure is your style and it's really unique so don't worry about it then! I like how you mention the little things and you can maybe use those things as an imagery of the girls feelings.

You're so busy loving him.
If you were paying attention...

He loves you too.

I totally love this! It's a great way to end off and it's kinda ironic.

All in all, great poem! Keep writing!

I really enjoyed this poem. The unique format gives you the perception that the narrator is someone who is speaking to the subjects mind. I enjoyed the truth and the unclarity, it leaves you wondering which is a unique quality in a poem.

You're so busy loving him.
If you were paying attention...
you'd notice

He loves you too.

Keep writing!

I really liked it and I can say I can relate, but I'm only in 7th grade. I've had my own.... version of that I guess. Keep writing because you're very good at it. Good luck.