Young Writers Society

The Khaia Delum
J.K. Bonogofsky


Where now is the one who hath promised his aid?
We wait as the darkness moves in.
Where be thy sword whose service was vowed,
And thy men, and thy power within?
Too far, thee, to hear battle cries drawing near,
As the sun makes her final farewell.
Thunder shatters our nerves, black engulfs as I now
Tell my men to stand strong ‘gainst this hell.
Shall thee not stand beside us as we face our doom,
Shall thee not share our fate this dark night?
This evil we sense, shall our swords be enough,
‘Gainst a foe who be too great to fight?
Where art thou, my Lord, in our great time of need?
A vain battle now soon to be fought.
As the enemy marches to take now our lives,
Des’prate prayers, deliv’rance is sought.
Had thee known of our peril, and the numbers we face,
Would betrayal then have been allowed?
We raise now our swords, with no hope of return,
For thou brought us no aid as was vowed.


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There's a story behind this... which hasn't been written yet ^_^

On the line, "Where art thou, my Lord, in our great time of need?" I need help finding another word for Lord. It isn't speaking to God, but a mortal Lord. A battlelord of sorts, who had promised aid. Any suggestions to clarify?

It's not the easy writing with Old English but I think you did a great job. I've never been able to do this. Do you by any chance go to a classical school? I don't know why, but you seem like you do.

As far as the poem is concerned, I didn't particulary care for the subject matter but your word usage was amazing. I loved everything right here though:
"Where now is the one who hath promised his aid?
We wait as the darkness moves in.
Where be thy sword whose service was vowed,
And thy men, and thy power within?
Too far, thee, to hear battle cries drawing near,
As the sun makes her final farewell."

I've never read anything bu you and I get the feeling that Im missing out...can't wait to read your other stuff.

J.K. Bonogofsky

I THOUGHT THAT WAS A FAKE NAME
Or am I being delusional or crazy or something?
Heh?
Is that your name?
(O_O)

Anyway, yeah it was a good poem....
Yeah... Except Olde English is a bit.... weirdish.

Heh, I wanted to do this in a more oldish, perhaps Tolkien style... I had lots of help from another forum for the Old English.

And, no, I don't go to a classical school. I'm homeschooled. ^_^

J.K. Bonogofsky is my real name. Heehee, Jimi Kathryn Bonogofsky, if you want to know.

My mom thinks this poem is too morbid and dark and sad... lol, but aw well. She doesn't like that they pretty much all die...