The Christians' Lie

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Author's Note:
Alright, final edit. I've taken everything into consideration. Before you judge this, just understand that a poet is 'a super-realist' and though this is very far from reality, it is the ultimate product of laziness in lazy Christians. I'm not saying we're lazy people, I'm saying there are lazy people that call themselves Christian. They discourage others. Here's my final edit, thank you everyone. It's still venomous and contreversial, but direct, less rhymey and clearer.


He came to school,
So bright and happy,
The quiet atheist boy

But inside,
His heart was skewered with a blade,
From his mother's recent death

He didn't tell them,
His little secret,
He knew what they would say

They'd bring up God,
and Hell and Fear,
And make him mumble the prayer of salvation

Chris was sure the Christians would,
He knew them to be a dim-witted bunch,
From personal experience,

Then one day on a camping trip,
They asked him what he thought,
About the principal's prayer,

He admitted that he didn't believe,
He needed more convincing
But was still a good person

From that day on,
The atheist was a spider among flies,
Ignored and excluded from any religous talk,

Was he a threat,
Did he think he was so bad,
as to deny God without proof?

Apparently so as whenever he talked,
They raised their defensive shields,
As if he were brandishing a blade in their faces,

The good natured boy still hoped for the best,
And attended church one day,
And there he questioned a teaching
- a simple question that the youth group could not answer

The word spread fast,
They said how unholy he was,
They said he'd openly denied the Lord,

The last straw was an arguement,
Between him and a Christian boy,
All he'd wanted was a reason to believe

From then on Chris was convinced,
That this 'God' had no heart,
But not that He didn't exist,
Not that he didn't exist
The Christians had lied

"God doesn't want me like they'd said,
Because I wasn't born to Christian parents or...
Or live in a fancy house.
So why should I care about Him?
He abandoned me."

Now are you just a member,
Of Ignorant Christians 101
No?
Name a reason why Jesus is the Son of God,
Or better yet, 35!
And do it boldly!
With a knife at your throat
Or a kid, begging for answers


The only reason
Chris needed to be so sure,
Was to know that his poor mother was alright.
Last edited by LookUpThere on Fri Jun 18, 2010 8:29 pm, edited 5 times in total.




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Wow, that was powerful. I could almost feel your anger and protectiveness of it. Another thing I loved is that you're only the second person who started each line with a capital letter, and your perfect use of punctuation. The pauses were in all the right places. Keep on writing!
ME




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This is really good I like it a lot.I have one suggestion...
And God don't want you anyway now
I would change don't to doesn't. Have a good day. Fiction




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That was really intriguing! Nice poem! :) I just hope every atheist would be as good as the character in your poem. >.<
“(...) and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” - Gandalf, The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring




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Maybe I ought to make a poem in reverse, Whisperer? Thanks everyone. Ayobaness.




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Hay Hero! :}

Good job. This poem, however, depressed me. I absolutely HATE Christians who are like that. 99% of Catholics are like that, too, so. Errg.

Anyway. I could really feel the emotion in this. Good job!

Come to my shack or message me if you ever need reviewing again.

Love & Blessings,
Aushy
formerly ZlyWilk

Finally achieving my dreams. Dive into a unique horror story.




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All I can say simply is that, that was brilliant.




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i'm not afraid to die. i just think i'll miss everyone a lot. christians aren't hypocrites; not if they really believe in God.

these people in your poem aren't christians.
- Mistrust All Enterprises That Require New Clothes -




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I'm not a believer, but neither do i have anything against believers, but i dislike those you discribe, those who cant accept somebody elses way of thinking. I thought this poem made a good view about how it often is without ppl thinking of it as in the past times when atheists would be slaughtered and kill for only a strict thought.
Good work // Hugs and Hearts from Saga
"Some say the world will end in fire;
Some say in ice.
From what I've tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice." - Robert Frost




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I like this poem, it's nice. Sorry for the misunderstanding, but now that you've explained it, I get it! =] Sorry once more, keep writing! It was really good!
Last edited by iheartbooks on Thu Jun 17, 2010 5:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"As the hungry are deprived of food, I am deprived of sympathy for those who deprive me of my sanity." ~Anonymous




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i don't believe God sends people to hell just for not believing in him. it's more about the kind of person you are and the life you lead. but no, those people aren't christians. x
- Mistrust All Enterprises That Require New Clothes -




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I'm fascinated with this because, even as a Christian myself, I cannot tell which end of the spectrum the writer is coming from. At first glance, it seems obvious. "Oh, this is an atheist trying to make Christians look bad..."
But anyone with any sense looks at it a second longer and thinks, "No... maybe this is a real Christian sick of being made to look bad by hypocrites."
In that way, it's written very nicely.

Theological two cents to consider though - whether the writer is Christian or atheist - would be this: Truth by definition is exclusive. A Christian is not ignorant for believing that their faith holds merit or that the Bible is true. What would make a Christian ignorant would be to call himself a Christian while also openly accepting all other world views. Should a Christian beat their tracts and Bibles over an atheist or someone that believes differently? Never.
But while it could be possible that all religious philosophies in the world are wrong and no one has the answers, it can not be possible, by law of non-contradiction, that all religious philosophies in the world are right and to be accepted together. A Christian accepting this concept is not a hypocrite. A Christian fooled into believing that they are somehow better than anyone else - is.




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Wow, your poem really made me think about my faith and how I show and represent my faith to others. It also touched emotion. As a person just getting into poetry, this poem is an inspiration. (: I want to write a poem that unlocks memories and forgotten emotions just like your poem pretty much did to me.
As almost every other review, I do have a suggestion. In some parts of the poem you overused words in lines that were close together. For example, the word is anyway.
“But you don't believe anyway,
And you're going to Hell anyway
And God don't want you anyway now,”

Repeating the word kind of made my mind jump straight to the anyways and made me want to skip the lines. I think you should think about rewording it, so that it would remove a couple anyways.
Overall, I enjoyed reading it. (: I hope I helped you.

-Morgan(:
"A writer is someone who can make a riddle out of an answer."
-Karl Kraus




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Hello Hero,

They asked him what he'd to say

This should be "They asked him what he had to say,"
or something along those lines.

And now I shall share my opinions on The Christian Lie, just because I'm a super-opinionated type.
So I think it's bigger than just a few people. Traditional Christian holidays have been turned into marketing oppertunities. Christmas is all about the presents and other such crap now and Easter is all about the Easter Bunny instead of the Resurrection. Our entire culture pretends to be Christian, but how many people do you know who actually go to church every day and pray and really believe?
And now I sound like some kind of conspiratist.
or just a plain hater. But whatever.

Anyways, I sadly know people like those who you mentioned in here. They are so quick to tell non-believers that they're going to hell. They don't focus on what could happen, on forgiveness, etc.

Yeah, so, that was my opinion in a condensed form.
Good work. I enjoy controversial topics and angry poetry.
Toodles!
~emerley.
My sister: I'll never forget that day... It was raining wasn't it?
Me: ...no.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Need a review? PM me and I will take care of it. :]

**previously known as EAHailstone**




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Hero, I just wanted you to know you don't have to apologize to iheartbooks or whatever. Although I am a Christian and I have many friends who are Christians, I do know a couple of people who do act like that, sadly. But that is not what Christianity is all about... well, anyway, the poem is fine adn it just describes an Atheist outlook on life.

But it is kind of unrealistic to say every Christian did that. ^_^ If its supposed to do that to make a statement, I understand. Just trying to be helpful.

;) Thanks for reading,
Sun.
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