Young Writers Society

Mentality

In between the mortal sins
and the purest of hearts,
lives the human mind;

a contrast of good and evil, and yin and yang.
It can think of things to make you cry out in joy,
or break down in tears.

The mentality of our so-called peers,
so frightening.

A fight rages within us.
Our figurative angels and devils
contending with each other
for the rights to our souls.

Who will control us?
Who will lead us into the hell that is our world?

Like puppets on strings,
guiding us until we can take no more,
until we break down and cry
for ourselves and everyone around us.

When will the day come when we will all be
free?
When will the day come when our strings will
be cut?
Will this day ever come, or will our time just run out?

It started out with a nice flow then sort of tapered off and got bulky and wordy.

extremely happy, or unbearably sad.

You're a writer, yeah? You can find better words than "happy" and "sad" those are so generic! be poetic, choose your words wisely.

I'd really love to say more, but eep! I have to go to bed now. I'll come back tomorrow and explain more...

Claudette wrote:It started out with a nice flow then sort of tapered off and got bulky and wordy.

extremely happy, or unbearably sad.

You're a writer, yeah? You can find better words than "happy" and "sad" those are so generic! be poetic, choose your words wisely.

I'd really love to say more, but eep! I have to go to bed now. I'll come back tomorrow and explain more...

i know! this poem makes me annoyed (but i still kinda like it)! i always had a small problem with this one.
thanx for the tips

Good poem, never really liked poems but this one was good.

First off, I thought this was very good overall. I felt like I really got what you were trying to say. But as was mentioned before, it didn't flow all that well towards the end. The first part was quite good though, and I really liked it. Keep up the good work!

I liked the poem. I dont normally read poems nor write them but I thought this one was really good. It got me thinking and I like when I can read things that spark my intrest. The questions are really good too and belong to the poem. Good Job.