Young Writers Society

Inspired by my brother, Daniel Tolbert

You know him
But not who he is
You know where he's been
But not where he is
You've seen what he does
But not what he did
That' because he's the Hood Phantom, kid

He walks the streets
Knows where not to go
To stay out of trouble
He knows who to know
Never gets too attached
But not too distant
The Hood Phantom always know who to kick it with

As a Hood Phantom
He's the first to see it
But as a Hood Phantom
He's the last to be asked about it

How many times have you asked a friend
"Who is that dude?" or, "Do he stay around here?"
That's a Hood Phantom for you
He'll be anywhere

How many word have you exchanged
With the guy that never told you his name?
No matter how many you ask the answer will never be the same
Hood Phantoms refuse to be that tamed

That's his mission
Not to be known but heard
So the next time you see him
You'll know the word...

Hood Phantom

It's cute, but I think I'm slightly lost on what you are actually making a reference to (What is a hood phantom supposed to be?)

You have a lack of punctuation, so I'd suggest you read this article: Poetry & Punctuation.

Some lines need some grammar fixes.

"Who is that dude?" or, "Do he stay around here?"

Does

How many word have you exchanged

Words

Some parts go together really well and rhyme, then others sort of fall apart. Because you don't have any real patterns or anything, its just kind of... a list of things. There isn't much "Poetry" about it other than the rhymes. (Which I did like, by the way)

Here's an example of somewhere where it goes...wrong.

As a Hood Phantom
He's the first to see it
But as a Hood Phantom
He's the last to be asked about it

This last line is way too long, it doesn't fit with the other lines that are 5/6 syllables. The last line has a whopping 9 syllables, and it really doesn't work.

It's cute, but I think if you cleaned up some lines so it had better structure, and maybe explained to me what the poem is actually about (or is it a mythical person? ) it would be good.

I understand where you are coming from but it was written like spoken word. The "Do" you reffered to was deliberate but the missing "s" on word was not. If you really want to know what I was talking about just pm me.