Young Writers Society

I never asked you for love ( even though I thought I needed it)
Not once did i beg for your acceptance ( although i did crave for it)
I didnt bribe you stay with me ( but I did give you my body)
You used me, and then had the nerve to try to justify the mess you left behind
saying how I owe you
as if I should be thank you for all the wasted years I spent loving you
praise you for crushing my selfesteem to the point that I didnt even reconize who i was anymore
applaude you for destroying my dreams
honor you for taking away my hopes
No, never again
you may have succeded in wounding me, but I remember
I remember the time before you
I remember parts of who I was
what I represented
what I stood for
and I am putting me back together
peice by peice
those parts that are lost
though it may take awhile, I'll find them
the peices that I had forgotten, Ill remember
The places in my life where you have left me empty will be filled
The areas you have tainted will be cleansed
Im taking back me
because i don't need you or anyone else to love me
if I cant learn to accept myself.

Here, I'll fix it up... Poem-Wise

I never asked you for love: even though I thought I needed it
Not once did I beg for your acceptance: although I did crave it
I didn't bribe you to stay with me: but I did give you my body

You used me, and then had the nerve to try to
Justify the mess you left behind
saying how I owe you,
As if I should thank you for all the wasted years I spent loving you:

Praise you for crushing my self-esteem to the point
I couldn't even reconize who I was anymore:

Applaude you for destroying my dreams:
Honor you for taking away my hopes.

You may have succeded in wounding me, but I remember
I remember the time before you
I remember parts of who I was
what I represented, what I stood for
and I am putting me back together,
piece by piece, those parts that are lost

Though it may take awhile, I'll find them
the pieces that I had forgotten, I'll remember
The places where you left me empty will be filled
The areas you have tainted will be cleansed
I'm taking back me

I don't need you or anyone else to love me
If I can't learn to accept myself.

I loved it.... but... puncutation is your friend! Nice job! can't wait for more!

Hello, Trubony. Welcome to the site; neat poem - I see Black Rose has edited.

I hope to see more posted in the poems section, depending... And as for questions. Ah. THat would be the mods business. They reveal themselves when theneed is there...

Seemed a little too straight-forward. Being more indirect, with some more descriptive and figuretive language would make it have more of an impact that just statements.

Anyway, welcome to the YWS family. Hope you enjoy it here.