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Exposed Secrets Prologue/ Original.



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Wed Mar 30, 2011 7:51 am
ItsRainbowInked says...



Please give my writing no mercy. None. I'm still working with it, haven't really found a specific style. If you could call it that. Not sure if I got the Rating down correctly..

~Prologue~

This is a secret. And of course, secrets are meant to be kept. But sometimes - we just can’t help but reveal them. This is a humans’ curse. How ugly, rile, and not very fortunate are they. Very few actually don't become like them.

Quick and heavy breaths are warm, full of heat. Their throats can no longer scream. "Why is happening to me? Why!" She sobbed. "Oh Robert," the name of her love, was gone. All that was left was merely a memory. "Leave me be!"

Wet, hot tears slide down the blond woman's delicate skin. Her make up was running black and blue. Although, that may have been the bruises on her skin. Her hair was messed up, and her red cherry lips were swollen from biting them, the lipstick originally on them made it worse. She was a filthy mess. Of course, one doesn't have the time to be painstakingly checking up on themselves while they were running from death.

"Come back dear. We love each other."

It hissed. Most would find it unidentifiable at first, of course, who wouldn't? It was a disgusting looking creature. Oozing out black, and slow at first, but if you noticed, it was faster than you would expect, leaving behind bloody trails, and screams of human victims could be heard that dirty black ooze. An occasional finger or a toe would be left behind. How grotesque.

This - is the birth of a Spawn.

"Stop following me! This nightmare, wake me up already! God! " She cried out, taking a left turn at the street. "Somebody, any body! Save me already!" Whimpering, her once blue eyes were a fear stricken and teary gray. Her legs were tired already, and cramps make it almost impossible to run. But she couldn't stop. Not now. Not when there was a blood thirsty thing right behind you.

Of course, her bad luck struck her. Her legs gave out, and she fell. Hard.

"Finally, you slow down. Babe, come here." His face appeared in the pile of ooze. She screamed for him not to get any closer.

"Robert..?" She looked on quietly. Shrieking, she pointed a finger. "You, you're supposed to be dead! Because, because.."

"Because you killed me, correct?" Robert's voice was heard from the decaying face that appeared in that sickly ooze.

What once was a young, attractive man with wide chocolate brown eyes, had a missing eye ball and rather ugly from withering away in the ground. Fine, wavy brown hair was now all falling out, and all rather crazy. His skin that was once tanned, was now decayed with green, purple and blue.

She shrilled bloody murder. "Don't, don't get any clo-," she almost choked from the shock and horror. "-Ser."

As the Spawn gotten closer, it suddenly shrieked, and black ooze was splattered everywhere. This nightmare has scarred the young woman, as silent death wishes came. In the corner of her still widen eyes, there a shine of silver. A claw.

And it slashed the thing, now sprayed against a rough brick wall, sliding down like slime. It - or what was left - was bedaubed across the cement and rocky clay. Hopefully, she prayed silently this was what God has sent her. To save her life. If not, to just let her die peacefully.

Before her, a young girl. Twice younger than her. Confusion and horror filled the blond woman's eyes. First came the confusion. A child? A child nonetheless, has completely slashed the monster? And next, came the horror of the realization. It was fear. Fear of what this girl was capable of, how this girl was even able to hurt the horrid creature, and what the girl was going to do next.

"Are you okay?" She asked rather softly, getting on one knee. Her clawed arm at the side, behind her back, prepared. You could see in her faint, almost lifeless almond shaped purple eyes, that she was no innocent girl. In fact, this young girl, this juvenile, had beautiful eyes, like amethyst jewels. "I know that I may be shocking to you, or that this monster has scared you, but you need not worry."

Need not worry? She had every reason to worry. Worry about what's going to happen to her. Or worry if that monster was going to get back up. Its ooze was still on that wall, splattered. It made her want to vomit.

"Miss?" Her voice was still faint and soft. Her clothing was like a uniform. A uniform of a young tainted school girl of the colors of white and blue. But the black trench coat covered most of it, as well the girl's high boots.

"What's," the woman coughed. Her voice was hurt and hoarse from the screaming. "What is.. What's going to happen now?" The girl stared back like a dead doll at her. She continued, "is this not a nightmare? Aren't I dreaming?" Hope was faint. At this, the girl frowned. A bit of emotion showed for a first.

Glaring at her, as fear struck back in her heart, the girl stood. "You delusional hag. You make me sick." Her shockingly testy tone made her jump a bit.

Not once had a child ever spoke to her in the manner this barely sixteen child was speaking. "Because of you, I missed my holiday." Her claw was pointed towards her chin. Slowly, and painfully, she got up. This girl, was different from what she appeared to be. It scared her to no end.

The monster had started to form back at that moment. Screaming, the woman fell back down.

"Shut your trap." Looking back, as her head slightly tilted upward, her eyes appeared crimson red. Although, that could have been a source of city light flickering palely from before them. Light, or what could be made out of were of faint blue, red, and white. A combination of light hit her face, making her white pale like skin change color with the light.

"Now, my partner, is somewhere on the other side of this alley, is waiting. Go. You'll just drag me down with your being here." She cautiously commanded, her glance on the monster still, watching.

Despite how rude the child was, she, despite her pride as a woman - as Missus Annabelle Harks, she did not have a choice. That monster - that nightmare - was too horrifying. Getting up slowly, and by ignoring the growing pain in her body that ached throughout everywhere, she gathered strength - and courage, and ran.
-

So. This is the prologue. Perhaps it is too short?
Review! And PM me if you have any questions. Regarding more information on the creature ‘Spawn’ itself, shall be revealed later on.

~ItsRainbowInked
Last edited by ItsRainbowInked on Sun Oct 02, 2011 3:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Tue Apr 05, 2011 10:22 pm
Soulkana says...



AWESOME STORY I LOVE IT hope to read more!!!!!!!!!!!! Good luck and Happy Writing!!!!!!!!
Soulkana<3
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Tue Apr 05, 2011 11:04 pm
oceanwriter99 says...



Well hello, I really like the idea and concept that you have going on it's just toward the middle and end I got a little confused.

"As the Spawn gotten closer, it suddenly shrieked, and black ooze was splattered everywhere. This nightmare has scarred the young woman, as silent death wishes came. In the corner of her still widen eyes, there a shine of silver. A claw."
This paragraph I find to be a little confusing. When you say this night mare has scarred the young women I understand that but when you say as silent death wishes came I don't get what you mean by that. and the shine of silver a claw what is that? You need to be more descriptive.

But, all in all I think its a good start you just need to be more descriptive and make sure your sentences make more senses. Keep writing!
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