Hi guys, thanks for reading! This is the first part of the first chapter of a story that I am trying to create. It is about a set of five Gods, creating a suitable dwelling for man. It explains the creation of the elements (earth, water, ice and plans till now) and will explain the rest in the second halve.
Now I like the first part of this, but I see that I am getting sloppy at the end, (with the plants being created) so could you guys check it out and maybe give me tips on how to fix it up bit?
I hope that you'll like it and have a good read
The creation
In this time, there was nothing. A vast, black abyss of endless proportion where everything fell, but it did not fall down, up, nor any other direction for even these did yet not exist. It just fell for all eternity, into the perpetual blackness.
This black emptiness, however, was a great formless entity, a being that was everything and nothing at the same time, floating in the vast endlessness of itself.
It had the power to create anything from nothing, just like your mind can create anything, both lifeless and alive and let it exist in your thoughts. We call this entity Cosmos.
Cosmos had, in this same way created a large variety of things. His first creations were simple rocks, varying in size from a grain of sand to vast boulders larger than the world we live on. After this Cosmos felt need for something new, something animate, thus he experimented with sentient creations, beings that could move, feel and speak at their own free will.
First he created living rocks, nearly extinct creatures that we call Golems or Giants.
“Golems!?” Exclaimed Varnan, “If you are not going to take this seriously then we can just aswell go to sleep.” He looked at the old man across the fire.
“I am taking this seriously,” replied the man, “and if you interrupt me again you will have to find your own way to Tanur.” He looked at Veran and his two companions, who were all sitting around the fire. “Now, do you wish me to continue?”
The three men nodded, overtaken by the old man’s wit and sharp tongue.
“So as I was saying.” The old man continued; //need to either remove this or expand it
Cosmos had brought life into existence, gigantic golems which he placed on the previously created rocks. Unfortunately, these creatures had not much freedom on their rocks, merely wandering from edge to edge, empty and without meaning in their lives.
However Cosmos had soon noticed this problem and set out to correct it. He had given the golems the gift of hunger, enabling them to feed and thus to forage. Soon after the golems thrived, now having meaning in their lives. They formed small groups and spent their time collecting and mining rocks to eat.
Cosmos was fascinated by how these creatures interacted, functioned and evolved into a more communal society. Cosmos had watched over and tended these creatures for an immeasurable amount of time, for even time itsself was not yet born.
Nonetheless he at some point decided that these creatures where matured and perfected, thus nolonger required his aid. It was then that he created a new form of life, a more delicate creature, something not made out of cold, hard rock. He formed and molded them for many of our lifetimes until he got something that suited him. These beings lacked the sheer size and strength of Cosmos’ firstborn children, but they had been blessed with a strong mind and capable hands. Cosmos had created us.
Cosmos was proud of these creatures and wanted to give them a suitable place to dwell, one unlike the harsh worlds of his firstborn. A realm which is in harmony and can provide whatever to needs that his children might have. Thus Cosmos decided to not create this realm himself, but rather to create a number of beings that would cooperate to shape this world, all adding their own visions and adapting them to each other.
It was here that he created our five supreme Gods; all shaped differently, each with their own personality, strengths and emotions. This way, Cosmos was sure that these Gods would, when in unity, be able to overcome any problem.
They were created in his own appearance, thus shapeless, but all entirely different by character.
The first to be created was Balor; given the gift of wisdom and possessed the greatest strength. He was fearless and confident.
Next came his brother, Blot, equally wise but lacking his brothers strength, this being something something that he would later compensate with cunning and trickery.
Wymar, the middle brother, had great compassion and love, which gave him the greatest understanding of life.
Gwawl was granted the mastery of all physical skills. Adroit and light fingered, this God could handle any tool.
And finally there was Anu, the lone sister, who was most skilled in the creation of life.
It was but moments after they had been created when Cosmos had put upon them the task of creating a world for man. Still disoriented and unaware of the extension of their powers, they were sent out to complete this task.
The young gods, not wanting to disappoint their father, at once set out to work on this task.
“Our father did not show us how this world must be.” Said Balor to the others, “Thus we must shape this world ourselves. But what shape shall it have?” He glanced at his brethren. All of the Gods had their own visions, Balor envisioned a world existing of bound rocks, connected to each other by bridges and ropes.
“And how long till one would fall off?” Commented Anu. “The world you describe is a perilous one.” Added Wyrmar, agreeing with his sister. “I myself have quite a different vision, one great and safe. It is a world made out of this.” He held out a small blue ball of shining liquid. “I call this water,” He continued, “and it is an element much safer than the earth and rocks we see around us. For one can live inside it without ever falling.”
“Cosmos’ children have to be free and not imprisoned in this liquid!” Replied Balor with anger in his voice, “Do you wish to disappoint our father?!”
“The world we make needs to be alive, like the beings that inhabit it.” Interfered Anu, “Did you no see that the firstborn lived on a world made from the same material as their bodies?” //Rephrase?
Gwawl tried to still the discussion by proposing a compromise, “Do not fight, my siblings, all of your visions are true. Let us work to combine these worlds of which you speak.”
But he spoke in vain, for Balor, Anu and Wyrmar had only ears for themselves and for an seemingly endless time, they quarreled.
The only one who was silent was Blot, gazing into Cosmos’ infinity, displeased with the foolish behavior of his brethren. He believed that a calm mind was a productive mind and thus searched for an answer himself.
It was at that point when he noticed something far away, it seemed like a small dark speck on the black background of the endless space. He gazed at it for some time, attempting to ignore the distracting quarreling behind him when suddenly he realized what it was.
“Fight no more, my brethren!” He then exclaimed, “For I have found the answer to what is our task.” He paused, waiting to get all of their attention, “Follow me, and I shall show you.” Having this said, Blot made his way to the distant object, with the other gods close behind, forgetting their quarrels, wondering what great solution he had come up with.
Once they reached the object, they gasped at its size. It was a huge, flat rock, with a size far beyond anything you can imagine. This was one of Cosmos’ old creations.
“This, my brethren, shall be the world of man. “Exclaimed Blot. ”For this plane can hold all of our visions and let them coexist in peace.”
“I hear you my brother!” Said Balor, “This shall be the house of man!”
“Yes,” added Anu, “this will do perfectly.”
After agreeing that this was to be the new world of man, the gods descended to the plane and started to shape and form it according to their will.
//a new interruption with the guys around the fire?
Balor did not like the uniformity of the land, which was too smooth, flat and monotone. Therefore he raised it, thus creating the mountains and hills but also the valleys, coves, cliffs, glens and gorges. Wymar, after adjusting his envisioned element, introduced water to our world. This was a highly mobile element which spread all across the plane soon flowed into every crack, crater, cavity, dimple, gap and gash that was created by Balors raising of the lands, thus creating the seas, rivers, lakes and ponds, the very ones that we can still see around us.
This new element however, had a great weakness. For unlike earth, being free in its movements, much of it quickly flowed off the plane falling into the bottomless abyss beneath.
Unable to stop this from happening, Wyrmar pleaded for the help of his brethren; “We must save my creation!” he exclaimed.
“That, we shall,” replied Gwawl, “Balor, my brother, help me raise a wall around this plane to hold the water in.” //need to expand it
Balor agreed and the two gods raised the lands around the edge of the plane, thus creating a steep wall all around the plane. A wall as high as five men high and two arms thick, created from one solid chunk of Balors toughest earth, stone.
After completing their task, the gods set to return to their tasks of shaping the world. But unfortunately, the wall did not hold, and it was Blot who first saw the cracks forming.
“Come, my brothers,” he screamed in panic, “the wall is crumbling!”
Balor and Gwawl could not believe this to be so until they saw it themselves. At many points the wall had cracked, broken, shifted and collapsed.
“I see now that this is because the water bites the earth,” explained Wymar, “As long as it is moving, It has the power to erode even the strongest wall!”
“What treachery is this?!” Demanded//Can I say this? Balor, “How dare you destroy my creation, the very one on which Cosmos’ children shall dwell?”
“Forgive me my brothers, for I did not intend my creation to have this ability.” Wyrmar replied. “Then why not take it away?” Said Blot, “It would solve our problem.”
“And make it no different from the earth beneath our feet,” added Wyrmar, “I wish to keep is in its current state.”
“Indeed this may be a fortune hidden by mischief,” interrupted Anu, “as the Wyrmars creation can move your element around, my brother, keeping it fresh and alive.”
“You speak with great insight, my sister.” Replied Balor, “But if no wall can hold it, then it is doomed to fall.”
So continued the debate between the Gods. They tried many times to save Wyrmars water, creating stronger walls of various types stone and earth eventually even from the water itself, taking away its mobility, creating a strong substance, one which we gave the name ice. None of these methods however, seemed to keep this untamable element at bay. It was just when Wyrmar was ready to give up his creation that his sister got a great insight.
“We cannot save your creation, my brother,” she said, “but we can replace it.”
“But I cannot eternally create this element” Interrupted Wymar, “It is my task to aid with the creation of the world and not be a mere replenisher.”
“Listen to me, my brothers” Anu continued, “I know a way by which we can replace the water without constantly creating it ourselves.” She paused to gain their attention. ”With your help, I can make a guardian for your creation, one that shall have the power to replace all that which is lost to Cosmos.”
After the other gods agreed, Anu started forming and shaping this guardian. This formless entity, made to resemble their father and master, was put high in the sky. Far above the plane, so that it could reach places otherwise unreachable for ground bound life.
“Now, brother, you must grant it wisdom,” she said to Balor. “For it must know when and where to replenish the lost water.”
“It shall be done,” Balor said, while blessing the creature with the great gift of wisdom.
“It also must have the ability to create water at will,” said Anu, “Can you grant it that, my brother?” She asked Wymar.
“I can, and I shall.” Replied Wymar, “It shall give birth to my element whenever this has been lost, replenishing it and maintaining a balance on the plain.”
“We must turn one into many,” said Gwawl, “For one guardian cannot be at all places at once.” He then used his might to tear the guardian into little pieces. “These pieces shall grow and spread,” he said, “and protect Wyrmars creation.”
The gods looked upon their creation and where content with its design.
The creatures, like Gwawl predicted, soon grew and spread across the skies, refilling that which was lost.
But the Gods made one great flaw, for since these beings were the first life on the plane and were set with such an important task, these creatures grew in self-admiration, becoming proud and short tempered. If one dared to defy them, they were able to drown them in floods or curse them with draught. Our word for these great beings is cloud.
After this was solved, the Gods turned to another problem concerning the water, the very same that brought down the walls; erosion. For as it flowed throughout the world, it cut deep into the earth, scarring the lands.
“This must be stopped!” Balor bellowed, “My work shall not be undone.”
“Stay calm, my brother.” Said Anu, “This problem can be solved the same by way as the last. I shall create a creature that shall guard the earth. A creature that shall protect it from harm”
Balor liked this idea and devoted his full attention to the design of this new being.
“It must have long hands that hold on to the earth,” he said, while thinking outloud.
“It must also stay near the water at all times.” Added Wymar, “For only on the border between water and land can harm be done.”
“I have envisioned the solution,” said Anu and she started to form and mold the matter that would become this creature, gift to create the life that would guard this element.
She created the Flora, strong plants of various sizes with roots that would run deep into the ground. These roots would hold the earth and prevent anything from disturbing it.
But unlike the clouds, no wisdom was passed down to them, for Balor found that these guardians had to put their task before themselves. Caring for the soil in which they grew, without but a thought of leaving. Never having the urge to leave.
But even without this wisdom, these plants posed a great problem, as they now mindlessly grew and grew until they were far too long. Then they then lost their grip or snapped in two, failing to protect the soil underneath them.
Wymar however, fixed this problem by teaching them how to drink his water and how to grow strong from it. With this becoming their primary instinct, they all cluttered wherever there was water, drinking as much as their bodies could hold. The plants learned to grow only when given water for it was what gave them strength.
Soon these plants scattered across the lands, populating most of the plane. And so its color changed from brown to green. The plants, despite their lack of wisdom felt great love and compassion for their creators, and wished to thank them for their creation.
From the green grass to the mighty oak, they all wished to thank the Gods for and took part in a long debate.
On a given day they agreed on what to do and thus grew flowers and fruits, all in different shapes, sizes and hues.
“Thank you my children,” said Anu, who was deeply touched by this gift that colored the lands in ways that she could never have imagined. So deeply that she loved them as a mother loves her child.
Gender:
Points: 1877
Reviews: 2