Young Writers Society

Chapter One

October 2nd 2005

Claire

I looked across the table nervously, glancing at my three siblings with a nervous smile. What was so scary about having dinner with my family? The ones I care about the most. It was out first proper meal together since... my parents accident. Amber, so suddenly, claimed that she could cook so made us this chicken roast dinner there is something about this sentence which doenst flow... maybve try "Suddely, Amber decided that she could cook, so she rustled up this roats dinner" just a suggestion . Maybe that’s why I was so nervous- to say that her food tasted horrible.

However, I couldn’t do that. Amber is my only sister,;and the one I look up to. She doesn’t know it, but I really envy the way she is. The way she isn’t too cocky about anything, or the way she forgives you and gives you a warm hug. It’s not like I’m one of those siblings who picks fights with her to hide the fact I want to be like her. No. We get along great.

I watched Bruce and Harvey as they slowly cut up their food and eyed it very carefully, before swallowing quickly and fake smiling. Funnily enough, Amber didn’t realise that they were being fake. She actually offered them more, which, unfortunately, they couldn’t refuse. Amber offering food was the only talkingsound at the table. Harvey noticed this, and being the eldest he asked how my day went.

How my day went? Terribly! All of my friends treated me like I was a four year old who had lost a toy. When I told them they don’t have to treat me differently, they were worse. My tutor, Mrs.Wolf, seemed like she knew what I was going through. Of course, she treaeted watch out for those typos! me a little different, but not much. Whereas, in German, my teacher kept on asking if I wanted to go home because apparently I wasn’t concentrating properly. Then those kids who didn’t know about my loss cried,

“You tell me off or give me a detention for not concentrating, you never send me home!”

Then others yelled,

“Miss, I haven’t been concentrating at all this lesson. Can I go home?”

Of course, both answers would get you a fat old detention. So, I couldmn’t tell Harvey and the others how my day really went. They would only hear the part on me not concentrating in lesson, then we would have a big discussion about it. No. I would not let that happen.

“School... is school. I did my English assessment today, but I’m not sure whether I did well enough to get my desired level.” I calmly replied.

“You obviously going to get a good mark, you always do. And what’s with the poshness? Desired? Seriously?” Bruce said, grinning. Then I told him that he’s only making fun of me because he really just ewants to be posh. Then we got in this huge argument which Amber and Harvey had to stop.

Bruce and I always had arguments. Mostly about silly little things, like being posh. Seriously, I don’t know what her meant there. I’m not posh at all, I’ve heard the way I talk. Nothing compared to this girl called Anna in my tutor group. She owns seven real life ponies and three horses. Her house is a mansion, and has a library, a tennis court and a swimming pool. That’s what she’s told us anyway, who knows if she’s telling the truth or lying dont need to mention that last bit- we get the idea form 'telling the truth ":). This kind of stuff is what she brags on about everyday, and we have to sit and listen, thinking about outour two bedroom houses.

Everyone thinks that I’m really rich because I live in a big house. The thing is I have threee other siblings about and previously two parents. We can’t have a two bedroom flat. Although, I don’t share with anyone, and neither do the others. My mum and dad shared, of course. My bedroom is a tiny box room. Everything is so cramped, and my bed is a loft bed. Meaning, it’s like a bunk bed but without the bottom bunk. Instead, I put a desk there. This means that after a long day, I can’t fall on my bed and sleep. I have to climb up a ladder. Then, getting down that ladder on cold Wwinter mornings was a nightmare.

I completely forgot about dinner. The other three were talking while I was engrossed in my own thoughts. Apparently I do this a lot, and everyone thinks I’m aa writer as I have those qualities. But I couldn’tcan't dont change tense here write to save my life, which is why I’m not going to do well in this English assessment.

The others were talking about how everyone’s day went. I didn’t need to know what happened, as I could just guess. Bruce would take ten seconds to figure out something to say, then it would be something like,

“ I played football with my mates,”

How more obvious could can you make it that you were hiding something?

Amber would talk about sixth form. She also mentioned her new boyfriend, Drake, and how she’ll bring him to meet us soon. Oh god, Amber’s past boyfriends were had not been very nice my corrections make it flow better I think . All lazy, immature and uncivilised. I hope Drake won’t be like this.

Harvey would probably talk about how he hasn’t illustrated anything for over a month, but today he got inspired. He says this everyday, ;a semicolon would be nice here he’s a fantastic artist. We all ask him why he didn’t sign up for art college, but apparently he doesn’tdidnt changing tense again have the money. Lies. Probably doesn’t think it’s manly enough, which sounds more like Bruce than Harvey. He would also talk about his job at Waterstones. Twenty and still working like a sixth form student. I’m not saying it’s bad to be working somehwhere typos! like that at twenty, I just couldn’t didnt expect it from him. He always seemed the type who would quit even if it meant less money for the family.

Maybe that’s why he didn’t quit. After outr parents cleared off,wait? did they die, or run away? you should use clearer phrases. the phrase 'accident' makes it seem like they didnt want to go, but then 'cleared opff' makes it seem like they decided to leave? we would be needing to make some more money. Amber has a job at Next which is for the weekends, but Harvey works six days a week. I still think that with that his experience he could get a job somewhere else.



Amber

Ever since my mum and dad cleared off dont use the same phrase twice so near each other! maybe try 'departed' , I’ve been thinking about about all the responsibilities I’m going to get. Even though I’m not the oldest, I’m a girl, and girls are in charge of all the house work. I don’t think that Harvey would be up to it. I didn’t want to be one of those people who fed theretheir family frozen food every night and just didn’t cook. That’s why I attempted a roast dinner. It tastes disguisting, but everyone else seems to be enjoying it.

I offered Harvey and Bruce more, I didn’t bother with Claire because she never ate. At all. Only junk food, which I find extremely unhealthy. I was just about to ask everyone about there day but Harvey beat me to it. We went to Claire first, and she seemed so engrossed in thoughts, as usual try rephrasing this - a suggestiopn "He asked Claire first, but she was engrossed in her own thoughts, as usual" thats seems to work better . But after about ten seconds she looked up and replied,

“School... is school. I did my English assessment today, but I’m not sure whether I did well enough to get my desired level.”

What was I going to do with her? I know it’s good to be posh and ennounciate every word, but I don’t want her to be one of those cocky losers who boasts about her grades. She probably knows what level she’s going to get but she just plays up the crowd. I knew I had to have a word with her. We then[/s]Then we moved onto Bruce, whose eyes widened as we[s] said itasked how his day passed seems to work better . He put his head down then ten seconds later, answered,

“I scored a hatrick playing football,- it was amazing!”

I sighed. Once again with the stupid football. I don’t know how he’s going to get a job when he’s older. Also, he takes so long to answer. I bet he didn’t score a hatrick, probably just a cover story for what he really did.

We then came to me, I didn’t want to tell everyone about my boring school work. I also didn’t want to get Harvey too concerned, but I think my grades are dropping. Not drastically, of course, but I don’t think I’ll be able to get the results at the end of the year. I just talked about my new boyfriend again, Drake. I stopped as soon as I realised I was boring Claire and Bruce out. I don’t eventhink Harvey was even listening.

When we got to Harvey, he started talking about how he got another inspiration. I’m all for his art work but he always says he’s got an idea when he hasn’t. Then he complains about it, same routine every single day. Well, that’s just life, I suppose.

Bruce

Dinner time. I’dve never had a more awkward experience in my life. My sisters and brother were being really quiet, and usually they talk, leaving me out, so I can stay with my thoughts. Whenever they talk to me or bring me up in conversation, I get really nervous.

Like today, they asked how my day went. I told them I scored a hatrick in football. It wasn’t entirely a lie because I scored two goals then the last one should’ve been counted as a goal but the stupid referee said it wasn’t. If I told them about school, however, I’d be knee-deep in trouble. My teachers told me off constantly, even when I didn’t do anything. I’d built up a bad rep already, and the year had bearlybarely begun.

Claire. Claire, my little sister. My little smart little sister, I really hate the way she goes on about things when she does well. She Oobviously didn’t take after Amber. Amber is graceful and certainly not aarrogant. It annoys me that all of my friends fancy her. It’s a bit unconfortable knowing that your friends talk about your sister behind your back.

My friends aren’t all guys, of course. I have this one friend, called Amelia Lindsay. All of my friends want to go out with her but apparently she really likes me. However, it’s probably just a lie, and my mates a fooling around. They don’t know if I like her, and I’m not sure if I do. She seems like she tries too hard to look pretty, which doesn’t look very nice work when her face is caked with make-up.

Back to dinner- which wasn’t nice at all. The roast dinner that Amber poorly attepmpted to make actually made me sick. I knew I couldn’t say anything because she worked so hard on it. I’dll rather just have something heated up and eaten that makes it sound likes its already been eaten :S if I have to put up with this everyday.

Harvey

I’ve been scared ever since my parents went. I always thought being the eldest would give me advantages, like being able to tell Claire, Bruce and Amber what to do without any fuss. After a while, I realised that they weren’t willing to do that at all. You could forget about even asking Bruce, Claire would do it occasionally and Amber would do it most times. AnotherHowever, one advantage of being the eldest was that I got treated differently from the others. Everyone acted like I was a mature gentleman, which, I kind of was.

Anyway, now I keep on getting these responsibilities. Without Amber, I’d have to cook and do other housework. At the end of the day, I am responsible for Claire and Bruce and how they get on. In and out of school. Which is rather worrying, as I’m not sure what Bruce gets up to in school. He never talks, only about his football. He’s not that good and he never talks about the academic side of things. He’s afraid to admit that he’s gifted and talented in maths, which is a subject I think he should focus on. With the others,he could probably scrape a few C’s and D’s.

However,with Amber taking control of meals I’m a bit worried. try rephrasing " im a bit worried about amber talking control over meals" I wasn’t sure if it was just me and I was being a totalmy inner food critic but it tasted horrible. Everything mixed together and did noot taste nice. Maybe it’s just for a dish like roast dinner. I’ve never had a proper meal from Amber, my dad and sometimes my mum did most of the cooking.





October 8th, 2004

Dear Rose,

Sometimes, I just feel like growling so loud that tigers become afraid of me. My husband, Eric is being really kind to me. After a bit of an on and off relationship, I think we’ve finally settled down and are deeply in love. If we didn’t have kids we would probably be split up forever.
This whole paragraph is weirdly set up, the second sentence is a weird follow up to the first. First your saying how you're deeply in love, then sayinh how you would split up forever? It doesnt make sense. Try rewriting/phrasing
sorry that was harsh :S

Speaking of the kids... I don’t think I can do itthis anymore. Four children, what was I thinking? NowClaire has entered the years where she pretendsshe’snot to be interested in boys or other teen stuff, but she is. That year was huorrendous with Amber. Boys are different, they hide their emotions. Which is the way it should be for everyone, unless, of course, you’re Eric.

This whole situation is literally driving me up the wall. In the morning I have to iron everyones school uniform/clothes and have a shower, then go downstairs and make breakfast. After that, I go to workat school dont need to say that- we learn in the next sentence shes a teaching assistant . Being an assissteant teacher really isn’t good pay. I go home at around three so I have to make a meal for Eric. The kids come home a bit later, apart from Claire. She never goes out, I don’t know where that girls social life is.

I have to go and make dinner. I wish I could talkwrite more as I have a LOT to whine onabout. Sending you these letters over the years has been really interesting, and I want to thank you for listening so well. Something that nobody does for me. You are a great friend!

Yours truly,

Julia Rose Marshal

It was out(our) first proper meal together since... my parents' accident.

I watched Bruce and Harvey as they slowly cut up their food and eyed it very carefully, before swallowing quickly and fake- smiling.

When I told them they don’t(didn't) have to treat me differently, they were worse.

Apparently I do this a lot, and everyone thinks I’m as writer as I have those qualities.

Oh god, Amber’s past boyfriends had not been.

However, it’s probably just a lie, and my mates are fooling around.