The Rape Tunnel (2)

Part 1 can be read here.

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[temp deleted]

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Thoughts?

Part 3 (the final one) comes tomorrow.

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Part 3 is go.

Dear Sur,

I will never forgive you if someone doesn't get raped at the end of this.

That is all.

p.s I'm really enjoying this and no, this isn't a review, but what do you care? Let that ego swell.

--
Edit: On going back to the first piece, I see a few people were saying to tone down the humour - as though that and horror are mutually exclusive, when in fact, they go hand in hand very well and quite often. Humour can work to offset horror nicely, to gentle it, or to act as a sharp contrast, for a jarring effect - more, it makes the characters more humane and easier to relate to, which in turn makes the effect or idea of something bad happening to them, all the greater, in terms of impact.

So, yes. Don't listen to them.

Hanging off your words here. Are you sure part 3 won't be up until tomorrow? Don't know if I can wait that long!

Thanks for the support, guys. Although, now I'm beginning to suspect that the final part of the story won't live up to your expectations. XD

Um ... should be up sometime tonight. I just, y'know, have to write it first...


P.S. My ego is already overinflated. Not sure it can grow any bigger.


EDIT: Part 3 is up.

Hey Sureal,

This is great. This really heightens the tension that the characters (and audience) develop in the first part. If you had done this any other way, I'd probably say that a whole part dedicated to them moving forward is a drag.

I do, however, think that in terms of excitement, this is great, but you do circle around back to previously mentioned things, like the drinking. It's not so bad a distraction, and I do see the significance of it, especially seeing as it's pretty much the narrator's thoughts that we're reading, but haha, it could be seen as redundant.

Anyway, now that this is finished, I demand you to start writing more stuff. It's been a bit of a while without much Sureal stuff lurking in the forums, and your writing style is to die for. Write more. Please.

June

Sureal --

Neil spins around. ‘Because we’re gonna get raped!’ he screams, right into Emma’s ear.

Hahaha. Great.

Fun stuff man. Not much to say. I'd would note, though, that the part where you describe each of the characters' drinking habits is a little tedious -- a bit like a grocery list passage, if you know what I mean.

But the end is awesome; excellent cliffhanger. I'll hop on over to the last part.

(By the way, sorry for taking so long.)

Prokaryote

P.S. To Jigs: The humour is fine; I was simply advising that he be careful where he put it, lest the tension become broken in an inopportune spot.