The next few days were mostly spent with Carl and my parents. They coaxed him out during the day with an invitation to the beach on nice days, ones that happened too much in late August to be humane. All the heat did was remind me that school would start soon and Carl would leave. He hadn’t tried to kiss me since my mom had interrupted us. I kept looking for moments we could steal away for him to kiss me, but they never happened. I could see Carl wanted to. I just wasn’t sure why he never tried.
That didn’t stop us from having fun. I was actually glad my mom invited Carl to come to the beach with us. I’d wanted to, but asking him if he wanted to meet my family was not something to be brought up easily. For me, anyway.
Swimming with Carl, and watching him swim, was my favourite part of the three days my family and him spent together. He said he was on the swim team and I believed it. He could stay in the cold longer than anybody, even my dad who’s been swimming in the same ocean since he’d been able to. Races against Carl were impossible to beat, and I just remembered sitting on the beach and being amazed. He was truly amazing in the water. My mom and dad commented on it too. Carl just laughed and seemed to go along with it. He’d try to get me to go into the water with him, but after an hour I was too cold and needed to sit in the sun. By then, I’d had my swimming fix for the day. Not even Carl shirtless could get me into the water.
It was only on the last night he was here that we managed to be alone.
~
We walked hand and hand down the beach. I didn’t care if my parents saw me; they were pretty much sure that I considered Carl my boyfriend. They spared me the torment of teasing me. That would happen once he had left and I was moping about it. This had been such a fun summer
“When are you leaving again?” I wasn’t sure how many times I had asked him this question. I didn’t really want to know the answer. It made him leaving too final.
Carl sighed. “Early. My parents want as much time with me as possible before school starts. And all the time that’s going to be needed to shop.”
We groaned. Somewhere along the way we’d discovered we disliked shopping.
We kept on walking, Carl taking me far down the beach. By the jutting rocks, I knew we were almost out of view of the lighthouse. But my parents knew I would be alright. Carl didn’t walk much farther either. He stopped behind a large rock.
For awhile we watched the sunset. It was painted on the water, the sea calm. I kept thinking about clichéd romance movies and how there was always a sunset over the ocean for the guy and girl to watch. I thought it only happened in movies, but looking up at Carl, I realized it could happen in real life too.
He squeezed my waist. “I’m really going to miss you.” His voice held a slightly flat tone. I ignored it.
“I’m going to miss you too.” I didn’t really pull him tight. I kept hoping, deep inside, that he’d turn to face me soon. I didn’t want to be holding him in a death grip when he did that. Although I fought to keep my arms at my sides.
I was happy when he turned to look at me. I felt his arm glide across my back to my waist. Soon his other hand was resting there. In his arms, I let my hands move to his chest. He pulled me closer, not enough for me to take a step, but enough that I was leaning on him. I kept looking up at him, waiting. My mind was screaming to kiss me already, but something in Carl’s face, the way his eyes clouded over, made me hesitate to kiss him.
He let out a breath, bringing his hand up to stroke my cheek. “I’m sorry, I can’t take you away.”
I pulled back. “What? Carl, what are you saying? Take me away?”
“Forgive me.” Carl let me go. A moment later he got a reckless grin and ran towards the water. I wanted to shout, grab him, make him tell me what he meant, but I couldn’t. Before I had even taken a step he was chest deep. By the time I had actually taken a step, he had dived under the water. I waited, my throat to tight to speak or even cry. The sun painted red onto the water, making it look like a sea of blood.
I saw ripples in the waves, like someone was surfacing. My breath caught in my throat. It had to be him.
Sure enough, I saw him rise out of the water. I felt my knees begin to buckle and leaned against the rock. Carl was alright.
He shook his head and slicked back his hair. Before I could say anything, he leaned back and floated on the water, so I could see his whole body. I clamped my hands over my mouth to silence my scream.
His legs were now a fish tail. The scales glistened in the fading sunlight, making it near impossible to tell their colour. I could see some scales on his side as the water moved around him. As he righted himself, he turned his back to me. I could see scales climbing up his back, like shrapnel had hit him and stayed. When he turned to face me again, I saw some of those scales were on the sides of his neck. Even his face looked different, but I couldn’t explain why.
“Carl…” my voice and knees gave out at this point. I sunk to the beach, still gaping at him. I finally managed to tear my eyes away, only to cover them with my hands. This wasn’t supposed to happen. The nice guys weren’t supposed to turn into mythical creatures. I moved my hands so tears could fall down my skin uninterrupted.
I finally managed to look at the water. Carl was still there, seeming to wait for me to look at him.
“I’m sorry I hurt you like this,” he said. Slowly, he looked away. “But what I was going to do, it would have hurt you a lot more.”
“And what, pray tell, would you have done?” I didn’t know why I was giving him the chance to redeem himself. I didn’t think it would mater. I was wrong.
Carl looked at me, the set of his jaw one I hadn’t seen before. He was holding something back, but what I wasn’t sure. His eyes showed sadness, but there was something else.
“I would have taken you here with me.”
I found myself stunned again. My mind overflowed with possible answers, some of them four-letter, but nothing came out. He took it as an opportunity to continue.
“Had I kissed you, you would have taken a form like mine.” He took a deep breath, turning his gaze towards the lighthouse. “But your family loves you too much for me to take you away.”
I ran my tongue over my teeth, if only to close my mouth. “You would have taken me with you, just so I could be your girlfriend underwater?”
He shook his head. “You would have been my wife.”
I was suddenly very grateful he hadn’t kissed me. I couldn’t keep the anger out of my voice all the same. “Is that why you came on land? To seduce me?”
He flinched. “That was not my intent at first. I came to see if you would be a possible match.”
I leaned back on my heels and crossed my arms. “And once I was?”
“Then—then you are correct in my intent.” When Carl saw I was about to leave, he held up am arm. “Please, let me say one final thing.”
I didn’t exactly settle back down, but I stopped getting up. He seemed to be genuine in his emotions. And, I was curious at what he wanted to say. Memories of the summer were beginning to come back to me. The feelings I’d had for Carl weren’t so easily erased.
When he saw I wasn’t moving, he continued. “After I saw your family, I began to rethink what I was doing. That’s why I didn’t try to kiss you until tonight.” He lowered his eyes. “And even then, I couldn’t do it.”
I was about to reply, despite not knowing what to say, when I head my dad calling me from up the beach. I quickly got up, not wanting my parents to see just who I was talking to. The sun had completely set by now, and I was supposed to be home before that happened.
“I have to go.”
“Can I see you tomorrow?” he asked. “I’ll be here.”
I heard my name being called again, louder.
Not knowing what else to say, I agreed and ran to see my family.
*
A/N- Again, any comments on style much appreciated. Characters too. There is one more part after this.
So, all in all, the style seems to be working. Your main issue is not explaining enough-- you have some great dialogue and action that has tons of hidden emotion and motives underneath it, but your readers can't find that unless you point it out and elaborate on your MC's feelings and thought process.
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