Chapter Two
James hadn’t been able to get her out of his mind. If he had fallen under the spell of her sister Regina then he was now Shelia’s captive. He hated how he felt such great affection for her and how it didn’t seem to lessen his love for her sister.
James was completely and wholly in love with Regina, and now he had heart break to add to that. It would have been so much easier to grieve over loosing Regina if he didn’t often think about Shelia. If he didn’t sometimes wonder about Shelia, if he didn’t dream about Shelia. She’d be with him all throughout the night he’d wake up and for the first ten seconds of his consciousness he’d feel completely in fatigued with her. And then when he opened his eyes all he could feel and all he could think about was Regina.
It wasn’t fair nor was it right to have feelings for Shelia. It confused him way too much, he sometimes thought it was because Shelia was somewhat like her sister and that was what he fancied. But the truth was, they were nothing alike. He wasn’t sure exactly how, especially since he had such a warped view of Regina he couldn’t see her the way she really was. The way he imagined and loved Regina was a façade.
That day he had gone to the bookstore he was filled with such torment, he had had a very vivid dream of Shelia and it was driving him crazy. Standing alone in the fairest book aisle he was trying to decide how he felt and who he felt for.
There was a very large part of him that was stubborn and would love and only have Regina. And then there was the less significant part of himself that only wanted Shelia. He despised this part of himself, because it wasn’t loyal to his undying affection for Regina. It was like emotionally cheating on her, with the worst person possible, her own sister.
And then it was so painful when she happened to be at the same bookstore, when she walked up to him concerned, touching him. It was absolutely unbearable, it was just like his dreams were now reality and his feelings were trapping him.
Despite not wanting to have feelings for her, James did generally like her. Especially after talking to her that day from her bedroom doorway, and brushing her off in the bookstore did make him feel badly. So three days later he came to see her, although he had the fenniest interest in seeing her sister if he could.
He drove to Shelia’s house very slowly that day his heart beating quickly. He knocked on the door earnestly, part of him eager to see Shelia answer the door and another, larger part of him desperate to see Regina there.
James was ultimately very disappointed when it was the aunt to answer the door. She was kind to him and allowed him to go upstairs to pay his visit.
At first instinct he had headed to Regina’s door, he had to stop himself mid- knock. He turned around and walked over to Shelia’s door knocking softly.
“Come in.” Shelia answered easily, the sound of her voice made his heart melt.
He opened the door slowly as if to make sure she was ready to see him. Shelia kneeled on her bed leaning toward the wall, it took him a moment to realize that she was painting the wall above her bed. He couldn’t help but feel something sinister at seeing her in that position.
Shelia set down her brush and turned to look at him, she was genuinely surprised but in a good way because she smiled at him welcomingly.
“Hello James!”
“Hi.” Was his meek greeting, as he opened the door and leaned against the doorway.
“You can come in and have a seat if you want…” Shelia said shyly she didn’t seem to know for sure if he was there to see her or not.
“No, that’s fine. I’ll just stand right here…I uh came by to say sorry about the other day and see how you were doing.”
Shelia sat on her bed smiling at him still and then turning to her canvas beside her, “It’s okay, I’m doing pretty good. How are you feeling James?”
“Good.” He said looking down, wondering what she was drawing on her canvas but feeling to uneasy to ask. “Maybe we could continue that movie talk?”
Shelia laughed, was it him or did she always seem to smile when he was around?
“Okay well how do you feel about the Terminator movies?”
Now James smiled, “Classics, I love those movies. The third one was kind of lame, and the fourth one was different but I still liked it. Didn’t exactly compare to the first two.”
“I like the first two, but I’m not exactly obsessed with them like my--” Shelia stopped herself for a moment, “Like my friend, I do like other movies from the nineties. Like Independence Day and True Lies.”
They talked like that for a while about all of the movie they liked laughing every now and then. [James began to feel at ease with Shelia, maybe he had been psyching himself out. Maybe all her felt for her was just friendship? ]
After a while he realized she had been drawing the whole time they were talking.
“Hey, are you drawing something? Let me see.” He stepped into the room coming closer to her as she looked horrified.
“Umm, it’s nothing really…”
That’s when he heard footsteps behind him, and he turned to see Regina staring at him. He still lost his breath every time he saw her, he didn’t think there was anyone as beautiful as her…except maybe Shelia, maybe. James was surprisingly uncomfortable at seeing her, it was like for a moment he had forgotten the heart break she had caused him and now seeing her standing in Shelia’s door way he was reminded all over again. Shouldn’t he had felt some degree of happiness? Like he had felt a moment ago when he was laughing with Shelia.
“What the hell is going on?”
Shelia stood up flipping down a paper over her canvas as if it was some incriminating evidence of her wrong doing. “Nothing Regina, James and I were just talking.”
“Talking?” Regina spat, looking at James with hatred, “Is that what you think you’re doing in here flirting with my sister?”
James face turned red with embarrassment, “No of course not, honestly I was just talking to her.”
Shelia took an odd expression on her face now she wouldn’t look at him. All Regina saw in Shelia was apparent shame and she went into a rage.
“How dare you come here and try to take advantage of my little sister!”
James gasped surprised, “No, I wasn’t I swear. We’re just friends Regina, I’d never do a thing like that.”
Regina stepped into the room brushing past him to stand beside Shelia. She wrapped her arm over her shoulder protectively, “Get the hell out of my house now you pathetic bastard and leave us alone.”
James was shocked he stared at her for several moments seeing the disgust in her eyes, and the way that Shelia wouldn’t look at him was unbearable.
“Okay, I’m sorry…It was nice talking to you Shelia.” She looked up at him finally, relieving him immensely and she gave a small smile that her sister didn’t catch.
James looked at Regina one more time and then started to leave the room feeling a bit lost in the world.
“Wait, James…” He turned to look at Shelia, she took her sister’s arm off her shoulder and met her eye. “He can be here when ever he wants Regina, he’s my friend. And I’m sorry if you don’t like that very much but we can close the door so you don’t have to see us or worry about us. But don’t tell him he can’t talk to me cause he can if he wants to.”
Regina was so taken a back that she couldn’t say anything at first, “Are you serious?”
James felt so strange, he was happy that Shelia had defended him and yet embarrassed too. Why couldn’t he have said that to Regina?
“I’ll go now.” Was all he said giving Shelia a grateful look and existing the room as quickly as possible.
He only saw Shelia a hand full of times after that day, while she was busy with high school, he was busy being a full time college student. One day when he had been over she gave him an invitation to her high school art show, she was nervous and wanted him to accompany her there. James was very comfortable with Shelia at that point and didn’t see the harm in going, he actually was quite keen at the idea.
He picked her up at seven thirty that night, waiting for her on the porch. When she opened the door he didn’t realize it was her at first. Shelia had straightened her hair, wore a bit of make-up and slipped herself into a slinky black dress. For many other girls doing this wouldn’t of made much of a difference of their appearance but for Shelia it magnified her beauty. James didn’t know what to say for a few seconds.
“So, are you ready?” She finally asked politely giving him a small smile.
“You look great.” He spat out.
Shelia laughed, “Thanks I’m glad you think so.”
James thought that maybe she valued his opinion on her looks and that made him feel particular.
He lead her to the car opening the door for her, by the time he started the engine he realized that in a way he was sort of her date for the night. That idea made him smile.
Shelia was buzzing with excitement. It felt dreamlike being picked up by James and riding in a car with him. She had the urge to touch him the entire ride to school.
She wanted to show him off to her classmates when she got there but it was sort of pointless. She wasn’t extremely close to anyone yet so who would really care that she had a hot date? Maybe some of the girls that hated her, which were also some of the “popular” girls would be jealous. But Shelia didn’t care about them, she wished she could show off James to her friends at home.
Then again what did it matter? Even if she did think of this as a date James most likely didn’t.
He parked carefully close to the gallery doors, and got out and opened her door for her again. Shelia got out of the car flustered, she loved when he was chivalrous toward her.
They walked into the gallery walking closely beside each other like a couple. Shelia could feel the cloth of his coat caress her arm, and smell his cologne like she had sprayed it on herself.
James eyes light up seeing all of the art work, just the way Shelia’s did. She let him go to the art works that caught his eye enjoying critiquing them with him.
Finally he asked her where her art work was.
“Um, it’s farther back, on the main displays.”
“Ah, cool lets go.” James was obviously impressed and Shelia loved it.
James looked at her work for a long time not saying anything. And then he turned to her, “I’m not just saying this…but I love it. It’s great the technique and the message. Wow if you don’t win something I’m going to slap the judges.”
Shelia beamed at him, “Do you really mean that?”
James just smiled taking her hand, “You’re amazing.”
It was safe to say that they were having a great time, Shelia hadn’t expected the night to be such a successful. After a while she realized that her work was some of the most popular of the night, everyone kept flocking over to her display admiring it. There was a couple of representatives from art schools around the country that came and talked to her.
It seemed the night couldn’t of gotten even more perfect until the judges came around giving out awards. Shelia got several ribbons, practically the most in the show.
“You’re a hit!” James said laughing, he was completely happy for her it was amazing.
Shelia looked down at their intertwined hands, her heart sped up, “Thanks for coming.”
“Hey Shelia!” The sound of that voice snapped both Shelia and James out of their dreamlike state, and they both turned to see Regina standing by an adjacent display with her boyfriend.
All of the expression and color left James’s face. Regina saw him and looked at her sister suspiciously and turned away from them leaning onto her mysterious boyfriend.
Shelia felt James let go of her hand, her heart sank as he walked outside. She stood for a moment looking at her ribbons and all around her. The evening had almost been perfection, she went over to her sister.
“Whose this?”
Regina looked at her with a pissed off look, and her boyfriend gave Shelia a sleepy grin. “I’m Delyn.”
“Why are you guys here? I don’t remember telling you about my art show.”
“I’m not here for you.” Regina said, “I’m here because I can get extra credit for my art history class.”
“Oh.” Was it silly of Shelia to think that her sister would support her?
“Can you go away, why don’t you go be all over James like you usually are?”
Shelia stepped away from her sister, “Fine then you stupid bitch.”
Regina looked surprised but she didn’t have a chance to reply because Shelia headed outside where she hoped to find James. He was leaning against the wall under a dim light trying to look up at the stars.
“Are you okay?”
He looked at her and then looked up again not saying anything. Shelia came close to him tugging lightly on his blazer, “Is it Regina? I understand if seeing her with him upset you, I would feel the same way.”
James didn’t seem to register her sympathy and understanding at first.
“I don’t know if you really do know how I feel. You don’t know the whole story.”
“Okay so tell me, I promise I’ll listen.” Shelia pleaded.
James hesitated for a moment and then he began.
“When I met your sister I was a senior in high school like you, I would go over to the university sometimes and take night classes. I met your sister one day in the cafeteria. I was crazy about her the first time that I saw her, she has the most amazing smile and energy. I fell hard and fast for her.
“We were actually friends at first, she was still pretty much depressed because her and Delyn were on a break. I kind of took her out of her stupor and we bonded. It went from something casual and innocent to a real relationship. All I ended up caring about was your sister. I sometimes would blow off studying for my finals and AP tests to spend time with you’re sister. She was kind and caring to me.
“I know this might be too much information, even if we are friends but your sister was my first intimate relationship. I gave her every part of myself I had to offer. And then one day without a warning she ended it. I was already planning to go to the same school as her so I ended up seeing her a lot of the time.
“That’s when I found out that she was back with Delyn. I settled for just being friends with her but it was hard to hide the affections I still had for her. After a while I was beginning to accept that maybe we were really over and there was no chance of us getting back together.
“And then one day she asked me to hang out and she kissed me telling me she still loved me. I was so happy, I thought things were finally coming together. It was a few weeks later, on Valentine’s day that I saw her kissing Delyn. She wouldn’t even offer me an explanation she just said to say away from her. I couldn’t understand why she didn’t want me, and why she let Delyn back in her life. Then at the end of the semester they broke up again, she took it really hard this time.
“I’d see her walk around like she wasn’t really there, she seemed so lost. So I started seeing her every once and a while. Around the time you came to town, when I would visit your sister when she was too depressed to leave her room. I think she hid her depression from you pretty well but I knew she was hurting. And our friendship seemed to be heading toward something more again…”
James stopped sobbing, “God, I’m really just not good enough for her, I feel like I’m nothing without her sometimes. I feel like she just has to feel the same way and that maybe she needed time to get over that bastard. But, but…”
Shelia knew what happened next, she had seen it that day Delyn had came to the house to pick up Regina. She refused James time and time again to be with Delyn.
Shelia’s eyes began to water, who was this girl James talked about it wasn’t her sister. This bitch couldn’t been the girl she’d grown up with.
“Honestly you telling me all this, makes me so angry. Not just for you James, but for me. I love my sister a lot, before she moved out here I considered us extremely close. I can’t tell you the loneliness I’ve felt for the past few years, and what it meant to me to come out here. I knew something was different about her…And now I have to wonder if this is the person she’s always been? A shallow, selfish bitch.
“I love my sister but I don’t know if she deserves the love that everyone gives her. No matter how foul she is she will always deserve my love James. But from someone like you that’s she’s taken advantage of, maybe not. Maybe you’re better than her James.
“And maybe I am too…maybe you could just stop thinking about her for a minute and look at me.”
James did look at her, almost like he was seeing her for the first time in a long time.
Shelia finally had to look away, she took his hand, “Why don’t we get out of here?”
He agreed to her suggestion and they started to walk toward her house deciding to walk was better so they could clear their heads.
James kept looking up at the full moon, and then at Shelia. What she had said kept vibrating off his ear drums and bouncing off and on his heart. She wanted him to look at her, maybe he wanted him to consider her instead of her sister?
How could he do that though, he might just end up hurting Shelia. James didn’t think he could love Shelia the way she deserved, and maybe he would never get over Regina.
The walk did seem to clear the negative emotions they both were feeling outside of the art show. By the time they reached Shelia’s doorstep they were smiling again.
“Thanks for talking to me and…listening. I can never really tell anyone else about it.”
“Of course, that’s what friends are for.”
James sighed in a happy way, “Yeah exactly. Friends are good, you can talk to them, spend time with them, and--”
“Walk them home.” Shelia finished, “And say good night to them even if maybe you don’t want to?”
James laughed, “Exactly.” Suddenly his face was very close to hers.
It was too much for him he had to lean in closer and so did Shelia, and then…
There came a blaring car horn, and they both separated quickly.
The moment was spoiled even more than the evening had.
“Goodnight.” James said awkwardly hopping off the porch steps, Shelia didn’t waste time unlocking her door and going inside.
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