Anorexic Letters

Dear PhAtZo[me],

Let me remind you of what Anorexia is like.
It's horrible, ugly, and wrong, but it feels so right.
You drool over food and crap like that,
And all of those things that make you fat.
Every time you try to cry,
You can't.
The tears get choked up inside,
Because you're strong?
And eventually,
You have to leave your world
And come back.
All the way back to reality.
It hurts so bad.
Trust me, I know.
Just how far
Are you planning to go,
Before you lie,
Before you break,
...Before you die?
Let me ask you one more thing
Before I forget.
Do you think
That you're beautiful yet?
I know you don't want to,
But just take a glance.
Look at what you've become.
Give the mirror one more chance,
And you will see.

Sincerely, Sknnygrl[What I used to be]




This piece is supposed to be read like it's a letter from myself. The names are suppose to be screen names. So tear it apart.

Elly,

This has so much emotion. I don't know if you have struggled with Anorexia bur I know how painful and mutilating is and how hard it is to get out of and it is so easy to slip back in to. The right and wrong scenario and starving for norm was beautiful!
The screen names where very creative.
Congrats! This is a brilliant piece.

Awake

Hey!!
This is very sentimental, the words you chose were very simple and yet the poem makes a statement. You described the hard road of a wrong mental image. I really identified to this poem, because I can tell you I have struggled with ED's since I was about eleven, now I'm fourteen and I can say I'm much better now and you described how hard it is to never achieve the beauty you think it's right. And when you think you had you realize you have destroyed yourself, that's why I like the last part because when you said to give the mirror one more chance.

But just take a glance.

Look at what you've become.

Give the mirror one more chance,

And you will see.

I love it. it's an amazing piece.

Hi Elly,
I've seen you around on the site a lot but
I don't think I've ever reviewed anything of yours,
so here goes

Okay, I didn't actually find many problems with this piece. It has a sort of roughness thats incredibly blunt but emotional at the same time. I do love it.

The only thing I would say is that it has a very unpredictable rhyming pattern. You use lots of different rhythms and just went I start to follow one you lose it or start a different one. This isn't a big issue for me as I believe this poem is good being unpredictable, it just doesn't read as naturally.

That wasn't really a proper review but I didn't find much wrong with it, it was a good gritty poem.

Izzy

Hi. It's so nice to be able to convey emotions through words on a page, but it can be so difficult to do. You have succeeded. At 13. Be proud.

There are always changes you can make to a piece, but it become your creation, and your work of art when you decide to stop changing it, and let it's flaws give it character and life (i.e. your rhythm). However, that doesn't mean that a piece shouldn't go through all the polishing stages first, of course. But you don't seem to have a problem with that.

Hey Elly Charm, uh....

Well, first of all this was written very well. It was was very deep too, i liked it.

Second: Even though i liked this i was confused with something quite small, but still caught my attention :

Let me ask you one more thing
Before I forget.
Do you think
That you're beautiful yet?
I know you don't want, too

The two first lines were good, but the answer seemed to not make sense to me, because i don't think anyone wouldn't want to be beautiful. I don't know if it's just me. And "-don't want, too" should have been "-don't want to" With one O.

But good job!

Wow, this piece is amazing! You conveyed the emotion in a very compelling way that kept me reading. And I love the way you formatted it as a letter with the creative screen names. Your use of question marks is excellent, because it puts hesitation in just the right places.

Let me ask you one more thing
Before I forget.
Do you think
That you're beautiful yet?
I know you don't want to,
But just take a glance.
Look at what you've become.
Give the mirror one more chance,
And you will see.

Beautifully written ending!

I honestly can't find anything wrong with this poem. Awesome job! I look forward to reading more of your work.